Hi All - Hoping to connect....

[Jackie]

Welcome AlleyWay

There are organisations in this country that deal with cults specifically and help to get you away from them, providing a place of safety and support, maybe its worth looking on the net to see if there is anything in your Country, or maybe ask the police they might know. Obviously due to the nature of their work they keep themselves in the background but I do know from reading and watching TV that they do exist. Sorry I cannot be of anymore help! Take Care.

 

[white page]

Hi AlleyWay,

Thanks for the explanations, Like Dr. Baxter, I'm still not sure what issues you are needing support with.

Are you for instance finding this situation a strain, in spite of your friendship with and loyalty towards your friend? Do you need to step back a little?

 

[AlleyWay]

Thanks everyone for responding.

What I'm looking for is twofold. First, I'm trying to find someone who has been in a similar position as myself with a friend who has gone through a similar situation. I would like to pick their brains as to how they handled certain things and if they found help elsewhere for backup for themselves.

Secondly, it is highly stressful at times for me. And while I am more than happy to do what I can to help facilitate safety and healing for my friend, I do have to take care of myself in this as well or I would end up no good to her, myself or anyone else So, I guess having a place to vent now and again (not angrily I hope LOL) a place to get some support and toss around thoughts and ideas might be very helpful to me. But I surely would not want to trigger anyone or step on anyone's toes here. That's not my way :vroom:

AlleyWay

 

[Jazzey]

Thanks everyone for responding.

What I'm looking for is twofold. First, I'm trying to find someone who has been in a similar position as myself with a friend who has gone through a similar situation. I would like to pick their brains as to how they handled certain things and if they found help elsewhere for backup for themselves.

Yes, I can understand that sentiment.

Secondly, it is highly stressful at times for me. And while I am more than happy to do what I can to help facilitate safety and healing for my friend, I do have to take care of myself in this as well or I would end up no good to her, myself or anyone else So, I guess having a place to vent now and again (not angrily I hope LOL) a place to get some support and toss around thoughts and ideas might be very helpful to me. But I surely would not want to trigger anyone or step on anyone's toes here. That's not my way :vroom:

Absolutely. I'm listening and I hope you find the support that you need here. Venting is allowed.

Just remember to seek help for yourself in the process. It's easier for us to deal with first hand rather than second..And don't worry about triggering anyone here - the administrators and moderators are here to worry about that.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

AlleyWay, if I understand correctly, you have your own issues which may at times be exacerbated or triggered by your friend. Are you seeing a therapist yourself at present?

 

[AlleyWay]

I am not seeing my T at this time. I go to her when I need to.....it's usually a specific issue that I will see her about if I'm really struggling with it and not finding my way. The last time I went to her was for about 8 visits in the summer of 2008.

So far through all the things my friend and I have been through there was only one thing that triggered me, that was her jealousy of my relationship with another friend of mine. I have a number of friends, but this one in particular really bothered her and she was quite verbal and emotional about it. We have worked through this over time and as of now, there are no jealousy issues.

Over the years that I have known her and reached out to help her, we have been through a myriad of issues. Aside from dealing with jealousy, there were boundary issues. These as well have been worked on and we're both on the same page now. When we first met, she was very very ill. My heart went out to her and I felt there was more than just her and I working to connect us as friends. We both feel that the big guy upstairs has had a hand in this all along. She is an absolutely lovely person with so much good inside of her. She wants so much to heal, to grow and to give back the love and acceptance that she has received. I am truly proud of her for the hard work she has done and continues to do.

Wow, didn't I just go off on a tangent LOL. Mostly what I wanted to say was that there is very very little that triggers me about her, or hearing of the abuse she has been through. I seem to have the ability to not let it get to me in a negative and hurtful way. I work through the anger and turn it into a positive so that I'm not hurting myself, my friend or anyone else. If, I feel I'm in need of seeing my T again, I have no problem calling her and seeing her.

Thanks all!

AlleyWay