rootsmanouvre
Member
Hello.
I recently joined this forum to hopefully get some support and to also support people who are going through similar stuff.
I have alot of emotional and mental well being issues that have stemed from childhood experiences and are after kicking me to the curb in adult life.
I suffered a complete nervous break down/break from reality! in my early twenties and spent time in hospital over that.
The shame and anger surrounding all of that really had prevented me from leading a normal life and unfortunately -even though I really want to try and move on - I have just become so resigned to the way I am living that change gets harder and harder as time goes on.
The psychiatrist could never diagnose anything specifically (mostly because my father demanded to accompany me to the meetings and therefore I stopped going) but I have done alot of reading and believe what happened and what anxiety I continue to live with is probably PTSD caused by childhood experiences; emotional and physical abuse and neglect in our very dysfunctional family home. A sibling of mine also had a complete breakdown (comatosed and unresponsive mostly followed by talks on irrational non existent things)which further heightens my belief it is due to our treatment as children. We were badly beaten, punched and emotionally bullied daily and witnessed the same kind of behaviour from our father to our mother.
I almost feel like I am in denial about the way I was raised; I was never able to talk about it to friends; we have no close extended family and my parents never had any friends over -or any friends at all in fact - so finding a point of reference of what normality is and what it isnt is a real struggle and its only as Im older and see other people with children that I started to be able formulate my own opinions. What makes it even harder is that because we were so isolated from anyone else I have no role models or support network and I feel completely inadequate at moving my life on and developing a joyous life - I feel these experiences are always going to hold me back.
I'd really appreciate any advise from people who have lived through the effects of a controlled childhood and how they found a way to build a new life.
thnx
I recently joined this forum to hopefully get some support and to also support people who are going through similar stuff.
I have alot of emotional and mental well being issues that have stemed from childhood experiences and are after kicking me to the curb in adult life.
I suffered a complete nervous break down/break from reality! in my early twenties and spent time in hospital over that.
The shame and anger surrounding all of that really had prevented me from leading a normal life and unfortunately -even though I really want to try and move on - I have just become so resigned to the way I am living that change gets harder and harder as time goes on.
The psychiatrist could never diagnose anything specifically (mostly because my father demanded to accompany me to the meetings and therefore I stopped going) but I have done alot of reading and believe what happened and what anxiety I continue to live with is probably PTSD caused by childhood experiences; emotional and physical abuse and neglect in our very dysfunctional family home. A sibling of mine also had a complete breakdown (comatosed and unresponsive mostly followed by talks on irrational non existent things)which further heightens my belief it is due to our treatment as children. We were badly beaten, punched and emotionally bullied daily and witnessed the same kind of behaviour from our father to our mother.
I almost feel like I am in denial about the way I was raised; I was never able to talk about it to friends; we have no close extended family and my parents never had any friends over -or any friends at all in fact - so finding a point of reference of what normality is and what it isnt is a real struggle and its only as Im older and see other people with children that I started to be able formulate my own opinions. What makes it even harder is that because we were so isolated from anyone else I have no role models or support network and I feel completely inadequate at moving my life on and developing a joyous life - I feel these experiences are always going to hold me back.
I'd really appreciate any advise from people who have lived through the effects of a controlled childhood and how they found a way to build a new life.
thnx
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