• Quote of the Day
    "Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be,
    but to find out who we already are and become it."
    Steven Pressfield, posted by David Baxter

Auburn

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Today I am a bit sad. Hopeful, but a bit sad. The aftermath of what we witnessed is so multifaceted. Sometimes I find I get a handle of one aspect of it, and another comes up to bite me in the butt. Not only was the emotional fallout devastating, but the financial was as well. Today we went to my bank to see if they would take our mortgage and give us a fresh start. What brought on this sadness was having to explain our financial situation and the cause of it. We had to tell them just what happened so they would know why we have such money burdens, and for some reason, that really set me off. It is bad enough that I am such a wreck at times, but having complete strangers know the details was somehow devastating in its own way. I wish I could explain it better. We aren't frivolous people, spending money on ridiculous items, but I think that would have been easier to say than the truth. I almost felt embarrassed by our trauma. As silly as this sounds, I wish Dave's father could know the fallout we have had to endure. I know it wasn't his fault, I really do. But, the anger still persists and then it is hard to rationalize. GAWD! So many conflicting emotions right at this minute and I can't seem to get them out. I just want to be able to breathe. I want some quality of life again. Some semblance of peace.
So, everyone keep sending your hugs, and positive energy, ok. Thanks and love to you all.

I can't stop crying, we just got word that my bank is going to help us. I just don't know what to do. We caught a break. These past two years have turned me into such a pessimist, like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And now, I am just so relieved. It has been such a long time since I felt that. A bright spot to hang onto. A stress that has been lifted. I have decided that this is our new beginning, this is what we have been fighting towards. I just had to share, something positive for a change, instead of just dumping all my sadness. Love to you all.
 
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Halo

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I am happy to hear the good news that you shared with us, Auburn :D

Lots of hugs to you :hug: :hug:
 
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my heart goes out to you with all that you've had to endure. i am also so glad to hear that the bank gave you guys a break! lots of hugs to the both of you. :hug: :hug:
 
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That's great about your good news. :) I am happy for you.

Hang on. :hug: :hug:
 

Auburn

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Thanks to all of you. I know that you are always here when I am having a crisis, but I also wanted to share the good with you as well. You are that important to me. Much love!
 

ThatLady

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Auburn, this is wonderful news! I'm so glad the bank showed the heart to reach out and help you in your time of need. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is to tell the truth, even though it's often difficult. Then, we hope that those to whom we're appealing have the empathy to understand the trauma we've been through, and the results of that trauma. In your case, it sounds like that's just what happened!

Good luck to you and your husband. I believe this is the beginning of a new and brighter future for the both of you! Many, many hugs!

:hug: :hug: :hug:
 

Auburn

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I think you are right ThatLady. That is what I am holding onto. Thank you so much hun. I have to say, I have a feeling I haven't had in so long....hope. It is a wonderful feeling! :)
 

ThatLady

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Just the thought of you feeling that very special feeling of freedom makes me smile, Auburn. I remember that first burst of light at the end of my own tunnel. It's really awe-inspiring, and it gives one the courage to forge ahead and keep forging ahead. It gives one the strength one needs to conquer the past and make the future something special! :yahoo:
 

Auburn

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You are so right ThatLady. But I have to say, it is exhausting as well!! I was so tired, and I think it was just the relief of everything. Wore me right out. We are trying to hard right now, to stay positive and focus on what we need to address. This positive news was so needed. Now we just keep focusing on each new day, and doing all we can with each one. Thanks for all the encouraging words. Love to you all.
 

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