Today I am a bit sad. Hopeful, but a bit sad. The aftermath of what we witnessed is so multifaceted. Sometimes I find I get a handle of one aspect of it, and another comes up to bite me in the butt. Not only was the emotional fallout devastating, but the financial was as well. Today we went to my bank to see if they would take our mortgage and give us a fresh start. What brought on this sadness was having to explain our financial situation and the cause of it. We had to tell them just what happened so they would know why we have such money burdens, and for some reason, that really set me off. It is bad enough that I am such a wreck at times, but having complete strangers know the details was somehow devastating in its own way. I wish I could explain it better. We aren't frivolous people, spending money on ridiculous items, but I think that would have been easier to say than the truth. I almost felt embarrassed by our trauma. As silly as this sounds, I wish Dave's father could know the fallout we have had to endure. I know it wasn't his fault, I really do. But, the anger still persists and then it is hard to rationalize. GAWD! So many conflicting emotions right at this minute and I can't seem to get them out. I just want to be able to breathe. I want some quality of life again. Some semblance of peace.
So, everyone keep sending your hugs, and positive energy, ok. Thanks and love to you all.
I can't stop crying, we just got word that my bank is going to help us. I just don't know what to do. We caught a break. These past two years have turned me into such a pessimist, like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And now, I am just so relieved. It has been such a long time since I felt that. A bright spot to hang onto. A stress that has been lifted. I have decided that this is our new beginning, this is what we have been fighting towards. I just had to share, something positive for a change, instead of just dumping all my sadness. Love to you all.
So, everyone keep sending your hugs, and positive energy, ok. Thanks and love to you all.
I can't stop crying, we just got word that my bank is going to help us. I just don't know what to do. We caught a break. These past two years have turned me into such a pessimist, like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And now, I am just so relieved. It has been such a long time since I felt that. A bright spot to hang onto. A stress that has been lifted. I have decided that this is our new beginning, this is what we have been fighting towards. I just had to share, something positive for a change, instead of just dumping all my sadness. Love to you all.
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