I'm a teenager--15 years old. Probably one of the youngest on the forum 
For years, my parents have always tried to control my life. They told me what I had to wear, what I had to eat, who to talk to, etc.
Coming from an asian background, they considered it normal to allow physical punishment--hitting. And throwing objects, brandishing sticks, such of the like. For a while, I thought that it was normal too-- since my other friends were getting the same kind of ordeal if they misbehaved.
My parents have always berated me, degraded me and discouraged me from doing what I wanted to do most, wanted to say and such. They told me who I had to be friends with, not to hang around so and so, do this work, and the list goes on.
After a while, we moved--to the countryside. About a couple weeks after, I slowly became depressed. I denied it at the time--I thought I was going to get over it, and it was just another "phase", as my parents called it.
I started cutting, overdosing, and had many suicide attempts--which all failed.
When my parents found out about my self-inflicted injuries, they thought it was all MY problem. I guess a part of it was. I was too scared to tell them how I felt, because I knew that they would've beaten me. Ever since I was young, after my parents have hurt me, they always said to me, "Don't tell anyone. Or we'll go to jail, and there won't be anyone to take care of you. No one will want you.". Because of that, I didn't tell anyone.
My friends knew that I had problems, of course. They've never witnessed anything happen, but they've always seen the result; a blackened eye, bruises, etc.
So when my parents found out about the cutting and things, my father...kicked me out of the house. He took away my bank card, my cellphone, everything. He gave me little time to pack, and just sent me away.
I'd been working for 4 or 5 months up to that point, and was saving up. But just like that, he took all of my money--some $2000, approximately. I went away to a friend's house, and stayed with her for a while...but the thing was, she was also depressed. Personally, I didn't feel that it'd be the best place to stay, because I could've fallen into a relapse and have the temptation to do what she was doing as well. Strange, I know.
Things aren't the best right now, but they HAVE improved. A friend of mine had the CAS involved, and it all went from there. Parents gave me the guilt trip for a while, but that stopped afterwards.
My question is, would there have been a better way to express my feelings, or tell my parents why I'd been hurting myself? I still haven't told them yet. I don't know how to.
mika.
For years, my parents have always tried to control my life. They told me what I had to wear, what I had to eat, who to talk to, etc.
Coming from an asian background, they considered it normal to allow physical punishment--hitting. And throwing objects, brandishing sticks, such of the like. For a while, I thought that it was normal too-- since my other friends were getting the same kind of ordeal if they misbehaved.
My parents have always berated me, degraded me and discouraged me from doing what I wanted to do most, wanted to say and such. They told me who I had to be friends with, not to hang around so and so, do this work, and the list goes on.
After a while, we moved--to the countryside. About a couple weeks after, I slowly became depressed. I denied it at the time--I thought I was going to get over it, and it was just another "phase", as my parents called it.
I started cutting, overdosing, and had many suicide attempts--which all failed.
When my parents found out about my self-inflicted injuries, they thought it was all MY problem. I guess a part of it was. I was too scared to tell them how I felt, because I knew that they would've beaten me. Ever since I was young, after my parents have hurt me, they always said to me, "Don't tell anyone. Or we'll go to jail, and there won't be anyone to take care of you. No one will want you.". Because of that, I didn't tell anyone.
My friends knew that I had problems, of course. They've never witnessed anything happen, but they've always seen the result; a blackened eye, bruises, etc.
So when my parents found out about the cutting and things, my father...kicked me out of the house. He took away my bank card, my cellphone, everything. He gave me little time to pack, and just sent me away.
I'd been working for 4 or 5 months up to that point, and was saving up. But just like that, he took all of my money--some $2000, approximately. I went away to a friend's house, and stayed with her for a while...but the thing was, she was also depressed. Personally, I didn't feel that it'd be the best place to stay, because I could've fallen into a relapse and have the temptation to do what she was doing as well. Strange, I know.
Things aren't the best right now, but they HAVE improved. A friend of mine had the CAS involved, and it all went from there. Parents gave me the guilt trip for a while, but that stopped afterwards.
My question is, would there have been a better way to express my feelings, or tell my parents why I'd been hurting myself? I still haven't told them yet. I don't know how to.
mika.
