• Quote of the Day
    "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
    Thomas Edison, posted by Daniel

sunset

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2006
Messages
607
Points
16
that is about to errupt!!? I am telling you, this anger is going to do me in. I was triggered this morning by finding out that my overtime from last week will not be honored since I took a sick day last week. They had posted a few weeks ago, that if the sick day was known in advance (which it was), that the OT would be granted for anything worked over 40 hrs. They decidedit was a typo and now I am going to have to deal with less money now.

I know a LOT of my frustration and anger is because I am earning half the salary that I used to get and it is annoying the hell out of me. I have tried to find anything that pays better but the market is lousy and my field is now outsourced, so I need to be retrained in another field.

I decided to look into community college to get trained in something else that will bring a decent paycheck, but wouldnt you know it.... ITS SPRING BREAK, and now I have to wait till next monday... ARRRGGGHHH.
I have to get out of this place. I HATE IT!

I seriously think I need anger management classes but have no idea where to look for these classes. I have mentioned it to my therapist but he says I need to deal with things and hasnt mentioned for me to go. I WANT to go, because my anger is way out of control. When I am set off, the anger inside me can be scary!? I really dont want to be this way, but I dont know how to control it.
Has anyone gone for anger management and does it help? Where can I see if there are classes in my area?

Can anyone help?
 

Lana

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2004
Messages
1,206
Points
36
An important part of dealing with anger is confronting and addressing the cause of it. Another part of anger management is learning how to let things go, achieve release of tension, so that it doesn?t build up threatening to explode. There are no shortcuts.

I don?t think your job?s overtime policy is the problem, but I do think it acted as a strong trigger. I also feel that you?ve done a good job identifying what the cause was/is and what you need to do to get out of the rut you feel you?re in. You said that your therapist said you had to ?deal with things?. I don?t know what those ?things? are but I?m willing to bet that it may very well be a step towards the anger management that you seek. What have you got to loose?
 

foghlaim

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2006
Messages
1,549
Points
36
achieve release of tension,
? "thumping a cushion or pillow"
? "kicking a football really hard against a wall"
? "shout from a hilltop" (for instance)
? " go for a fast walk or run"
? "breathing excercises also help"
(these used to help me when my anger started to rise or had risen)
if u haven't tried any of these already.. maybe? one of them .. might help to release tension while you are seeking classes or "dealing with things".? And not forgetting.... writing about it like u did here.
maybe others here have other suggestiions\ideas..? ?

I? have never attended anger management classes so can't help you on that Q.

sometimes these classes are? advertised in local newspapers, on health clinic notice boards. or even on notice boards in shopping malls. (over here that is)

I also feel that you?ve done a good job identifying what the cause was/is and what you need to do to get out of the rut you feel you?re in.
?
I agree with Lana on this.? ?
 

sunset

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2006
Messages
607
Points
16
Thank you both for responding! I spoke to my Dr last night and discussed my anger. For now he wants me to exercise for 30 minutes a day at least and swears that will help. He also wants me to try and remember troubling things from my early childhood to discuss when he is back in the office.
Hypnosis is going to be tried to get at some early memories, if I am open to it. He said he is not sure that I will "let" it happen, but we may give it a try.
In any event, I told him I need to learn to deal with my anger before I get hurt. I dont like feeling out of control and the anger just takes over.

I still want to check into anger mgmt, but will wait to try these other things first.

I am doing better today, but I feel like I am "dormant" and can go off when another thing triggers me.
 

foghlaim

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2006
Messages
1,549
Points
36
how did u get on at the community college Sunset? find anythng to suit you?
is the running helping you, u must be very fit...

i think i'm going to have to use the cushion myself one of these days.. *s* hmm maybe i could have used it tues.. never thought of it...

anyway.. just thought i'd ask how u is getting on.. *s*
 

sunset

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2006
Messages
607
Points
16
Hey Notsure...Thx for asking!!

I am trying to exercise everyday, but I really have to force myself. When I do exercise, I do feel better physcially and mentally.
When I do get angry and feel like I am going to lose it, I try to think it out and see where the anger is coming from. Guess I am trying to "Dr" myself in a way. LOL!
I am still trying to see what path to take as far as school goes. I want it to be a specific trade, and get the schooling over and done with as quickly as possible! My Dr is helping me with this and I see him this thursday, so I need to have some things ready to discuss.

Anyway, thank you for asking! Hope all is well with you.
 

^^Phoenix^^

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2004
Messages
656
Points
16
sunset said:
Guess I am trying to "Dr" myself in a way. LOL!
Thats the best way, and the most we can expect. A Doctor Dr. can only help us so far, and then we have to take it further within ourselves, so well done!
 

foghlaim

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2006
Messages
1,549
Points
36
sunset: how are u getting on these days.. you must be very busy.. i haven't seen you around here for a while now..
hope you are well.

thinking of you

nsa
 

sunset

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2006
Messages
607
Points
16
NSA... WOW! I think I have esp now, because for some strange reason, I decided to check this forum out again, and here is a note from you inquiring about me.
Thanks for thinking about me. I have been busy and doing ok, but the job situation is still the same.
In the fall, I am planning on making a change one way or another. Just waiting out vacation season. haha

I still am seeing my therapist and he is my rock.
Hope you are well too!
 

foghlaim

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2006
Messages
1,549
Points
36
lol sunset... nice to see you here.. hmmm.. esp huh. maybe a new career coming up then, madame sunset!! reveals all heh heh..

you sound so upbeat it's great!! :)
GOOOO Sunset!!

enjoy the hols when u get them ok.

and glad you are finding your therapist so good.

be well and happy

nsa
 

sunset

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2006
Messages
607
Points
16
Now if I can figure out the lucky six numbers, I could retire....
Glad I sound upbeat to you, but you should have seen me yesterday! I am working on it though.
 

AVC

Member
Joined
Aug 23, 2006
Messages
78
Points
6
I think we all have anger within us, it is when it turns into rage that causes problems that can damage ourselves and others, when it gets to that point it can land you in hot water (legal trouble) and will simply compound your problems, so you have to learn self control to avoid making your life worse!
 

solitary man

Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2006
Messages
97
Points
6
Well I can relate to this thread. Yesterday I was berated, not once but twice by a coworker in a lunch room full of people over a set of keys and a drill.
Now if I had been rude in my original request, I could see how his response would have appropriate, but it wasn't. I was polite and professional, but because I was interrupting his lunch break, I got the brunt of his storm.

If it was a customer, I can handle it. It's part of the job. But when it comes from an employee, it ticks me off when we're both trying to do our job.

I'm the type of person who keeps things inside and avoid confrontations, so I walked away and went home. I know that I have a lot of rage in me so my best option is to walk away.

Today, my boss and store manager wanted to know what happened and I would have preferred to not talk about it. As I recounted of what happened I got even more angry that I was shaking.

What I'm more angry about is the fact that I let it bother me and I couldn't surpress the way I felt. I'm also embarrassed that I let people see me get angry.

My other coworkers told me that I shouldn't feel embarrassed for getting angry but it's the way I feel.

The coworker in question did apologize, but it meant nothing. His apology came across more of my fault for interrupting his lunch break than anything else.

Vent over.
 
Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Messages
5,390
Points
36
solitary man that was an unpleasant experience you had at work. if it were me i would not have known how to respond and i probably would have walked away too, all the while seething underneath but unable to speak up.

try not to berate yourself for having feelings like anger. our feelings serve a purpose, they show us when things are right and when things are wrong. we shouldn't suppress our feelings at all costs, but instead express them constructively. i know that's certainly tricky for a lot of us.

if i had been one of your co-workers and witnessed you being angry i certainly would only have nothing but sympathy for you. i do not believe for a moment that anyone thought less of you for feeling the way you did. you didn't do anything wrong by feeling upset over this.
 

stargazer

Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
Messages
1,720
Points
36
I have also found that physical exercise works wonders, however being the undisciplined person I am, I find it really hard to be consistent about my exercise these days. I wish I would run 5 days a week, week after week unquestioningly (like I used to!) but I have a hard time motivating myself. I haven't run since Sunday, and it's already Thursday.

But it does help. Also, the medication I am taking (depakote) definitely helps. This morning, for example, I was so angry over certain circumstances I started cussing at God in my room, and beating myself on the forehead. Then I remembered to take the depakote, and minutes later, I was no longer angry, although the same circumstances remained.

As far as interactions with others are concerned, I have noticed throughout my life that there are some people who never see my temper, even though they have known me for years. Other people see the temper fairly soon in our acquaintanceship. I can avoid those people to an extent, but life will always provide similar personalities for me to get mad at. So I really do need to work on the causes of my temper, and try to identify what is triggering me, even as much as I am thankful for those with whom I get along more easily.

I would also like to take anger management classes, and I don't know where to find them in my area. I can ask at Mental Health though, where I receive therapy and psychiatry through the County.

Good luck to you.
 

goldiemaz

Member
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
10
Points
1
2 positive thing:
1. You know the source of your anger & frustration.

2. You decided to do something about it by enrolin in college to get trained in something else.

But now you're angry because you can't start because college is in spring break. So what? It's not the end of the world. Wait til after the spring break and then enrol. Don't waste your energy on things you can't control. Focus on what you can.

The last time I typed "anger mangement class" in google, I got a few hits. May be you can find something near where you stay.
 

Top Bottom