Alright, I'm not really sure what category I should be putting this thread under. However, since anger is one of the predominate feelings going on in my head, I figured this section was as good a place as any.
Alright, to begin with, I decided, with the help of my psychiatrist to begin weening off of my medication for my anxiety disorder. Yesterday, I went off of the medication, I began the weening process in the beginning of July and I took things very slowly and carefully, knowing that with each step down there would be an adjustment period.
It has been difficult to say the least. But this now brings me to my present situation. I'm at present very confused, my head feels, as best I can describe it, the feeling you get when you go down a roller coaster and how everything thing seems to drop down to your toes - my head gets that feeling - also I can't seem to articulate what I'm thinking or what's going on. I'm angry, but I'm not exactly sure why, I feel like crying most of the time - even when there's no reason. I feel a loss of control over my emotions and my body. I feel like I'm going crazy.
It is only my second day off of the medication and I've done all my psychiatrist has asked, but I feel exhausted and angry, anxious, confused and just ill. I feel as though I don't know which way is up or down. A part of me gets furious with myself at my loss of control, at my inability to snap out of it and I want so desperately to hurt myself - why I don't know - thankfully I haven't done anything very violent - but this very want to inflict harm on myself - has me furious with myself. I can't make heads or tales of it.
What the heck is wrong with me? I know it must be withdrawal - but if that's the case, why didn't I feel this confused all the other times I went down in my dose. Is it all psychological, or is this physical or both? or am I just utterly and completely insane? :hissyfit:
I'm also ashamed of myself and my inability to stay calm, to not be angry, to want to cry, to even so much as think about harming myself- and then I get angry all over again. Oh, my, I don't know if any of this makes any sense, but I need to get it out and writing to myself doesn't work.
Alright, to begin with, I decided, with the help of my psychiatrist to begin weening off of my medication for my anxiety disorder. Yesterday, I went off of the medication, I began the weening process in the beginning of July and I took things very slowly and carefully, knowing that with each step down there would be an adjustment period.
It has been difficult to say the least. But this now brings me to my present situation. I'm at present very confused, my head feels, as best I can describe it, the feeling you get when you go down a roller coaster and how everything thing seems to drop down to your toes - my head gets that feeling - also I can't seem to articulate what I'm thinking or what's going on. I'm angry, but I'm not exactly sure why, I feel like crying most of the time - even when there's no reason. I feel a loss of control over my emotions and my body. I feel like I'm going crazy.
It is only my second day off of the medication and I've done all my psychiatrist has asked, but I feel exhausted and angry, anxious, confused and just ill. I feel as though I don't know which way is up or down. A part of me gets furious with myself at my loss of control, at my inability to snap out of it and I want so desperately to hurt myself - why I don't know - thankfully I haven't done anything very violent - but this very want to inflict harm on myself - has me furious with myself. I can't make heads or tales of it.
What the heck is wrong with me? I know it must be withdrawal - but if that's the case, why didn't I feel this confused all the other times I went down in my dose. Is it all psychological, or is this physical or both? or am I just utterly and completely insane? :hissyfit:
I'm also ashamed of myself and my inability to stay calm, to not be angry, to want to cry, to even so much as think about harming myself- and then I get angry all over again. Oh, my, I don't know if any of this makes any sense, but I need to get it out and writing to myself doesn't work.
I feel a lot better just hearing that, that isn't ubnormal- having spelling issues too, hahaha
