David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
We Mistakenly Believe...
Sanctuary for the Abused
Saturday, April 18, 2009
That he cares about us and our well-being, if only we were better able to express and explain what we mean, he wouldn?t be so angry or disgusted with us, if only we didn?t have some inexplicable problem in perception, we wouldn?t take things the wrong way, if only we weren?t so inadequate?we wouldn?t feel so much pain and hurt, that he is sincere, that he is the same way with everyone and they don?t make him mad, so there must be something wrong with us, like he was always saying ?this is what I?m talking about ..I just want to be happy ? I don?t see us being happy -you make me do this, you make me drink, you?re going to make me drink, you, you, you are the problem.?
That we are suffering needlessly because of some lack or flaw. This lack or flaw is not particularly defined but is instead a general sense of inadequacy derived from countless accusations (which he will reinforce by saying ?everyone says?), we mistakenly believe, if only he would find religion, be reborn, born again, stopped doing drugs, got into recovery, worked his steps, bonded with his inner child, dealt with his anger issues, ?childhood issues?, intimacy issues, commitment issues, abandonment issues, went to therapy, stopped smoking, started smoking, got a job, got a better job, got a degree, got a better degree, then the tyranny would stop or if we were younger, prettier, thinner, smarter, prayed more effectively, better, or right-things would get better, got into recovery, became more religious, more holy, more fervent, more faith filled, were more chaste, celibate, married in a church, renewed our vows, were more self responsible, more successful, more loving, more understanding, more forgiving, more assertive, more submissive, more in touch with our inner child, changed our thinking, raised our self esteem, stopped creating/ recreating these types of relationships, healed our family tree, stopped being codependent, stopped enabling, ?let go?, got therapy, took antidepressants, dealt with our childhood issues, intimacy, commitment and abandonment issues, forgave our parents, forgave our perpetrators, forgave ourselves, forgave him, stopped being the victim, developed better communication skills, wore bright colors, sat up straight -things would get better- did more for him and others- then the tyranny would stop.
Wrong.
Misogynon
Sanctuary for the Abused
Saturday, April 18, 2009
That he cares about us and our well-being, if only we were better able to express and explain what we mean, he wouldn?t be so angry or disgusted with us, if only we didn?t have some inexplicable problem in perception, we wouldn?t take things the wrong way, if only we weren?t so inadequate?we wouldn?t feel so much pain and hurt, that he is sincere, that he is the same way with everyone and they don?t make him mad, so there must be something wrong with us, like he was always saying ?this is what I?m talking about ..I just want to be happy ? I don?t see us being happy -you make me do this, you make me drink, you?re going to make me drink, you, you, you are the problem.?
That we are suffering needlessly because of some lack or flaw. This lack or flaw is not particularly defined but is instead a general sense of inadequacy derived from countless accusations (which he will reinforce by saying ?everyone says?), we mistakenly believe, if only he would find religion, be reborn, born again, stopped doing drugs, got into recovery, worked his steps, bonded with his inner child, dealt with his anger issues, ?childhood issues?, intimacy issues, commitment issues, abandonment issues, went to therapy, stopped smoking, started smoking, got a job, got a better job, got a degree, got a better degree, then the tyranny would stop or if we were younger, prettier, thinner, smarter, prayed more effectively, better, or right-things would get better, got into recovery, became more religious, more holy, more fervent, more faith filled, were more chaste, celibate, married in a church, renewed our vows, were more self responsible, more successful, more loving, more understanding, more forgiving, more assertive, more submissive, more in touch with our inner child, changed our thinking, raised our self esteem, stopped creating/ recreating these types of relationships, healed our family tree, stopped being codependent, stopped enabling, ?let go?, got therapy, took antidepressants, dealt with our childhood issues, intimacy, commitment and abandonment issues, forgave our parents, forgave our perpetrators, forgave ourselves, forgave him, stopped being the victim, developed better communication skills, wore bright colors, sat up straight -things would get better- did more for him and others- then the tyranny would stop.
Wrong.
Misogynon
