David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Introduction to Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
David Burns, The Feeling Good Handbook
Many people believe that their bad moods result from factors beyond their control. They ask, "How can I possibly feel happy? My girlfriend rejected me. Women always put me down." Or they say, "How can I feel good about myself? I'm not particularly successful. I don't have a glamorous career. I'm just an inferior person, and that's reality." Some people attribute their blue moods to their hormones or body chemistry. Others believe that their sour outlook results from some childhood event that has long been forgotten and buried deep in their unconscious. Some people argue that it's realistic to feel bad because they're ill or have recently experienced a personal disappointment. Others attribute their bad moods to the state of the world — the shaky economy, the bad weather, taxes, traffic jams, the threat of nuclear war. Misery, they argue, is inevitable.
Of course there's some truth in all of these ideas. Our feelings undoubtedly are influenced by external events, by our body chemistry, and by conflicts and traumas from the past. However, these theories are based on the notion that our feelings are beyond our control. If you say, "I just can't help the way I feel," you will only make yourself a victim of your misery — and you'll be fooling yourself, because you can change the way you feel.
If you want to feel better, you must realize that your thoughts and attitudes — not external events — create your feelings. You can learn to change the way you think, feel, and behave in the here-and-now. That simple but revolutionary principle can help you change your life.
To illustrate the important relationship between your thoughts and your moods, consider the many ways you might react to a compliment. Suppose I told you, "I really like you. I think you're a neat person." How would you feel? Some people would feel pleased and happy. Others might feel sad and guilty. Some people would feel embarrassed, and some would react with anger and annoyance. What explains such different reactions? It's because of the different ways they might think about the compliment. If you feel sad, you're probably thinking, "Ah, Dr. Burns is just saying that to make me feel good. He's just trying to be nice to me, but he doesn't really mean it." If you feel annoyed, you might be thinking, "He's flattering me. He must be trying to get something from me. Why isn't he more honest?" If you feel good about the compliment, you're likely to be thinking, "Gee, Dr. Burns likes me. That's great!" In each case the external event — the compliment — is the same. The way you feel results entirely from the way you think about it. That's what I mean when I say that your thoughts create your moods.
This is also true when something bad happens. Suppose someone you respect criticizes you. How would you feel? You may feel guilty and inadequate if you tell yourself you're no good and the problem is all your fault. You will feel anxious and worried if you tell yourself that the other person is looking down on you and is going to reject you. You'll feel angry if you tell yourself that it's all their fault and they have no right to say such unfair things. If you have a good sense of self-esteem, you might feel curious and try to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. In each case, your reaction will depend on the way you think about the criticism. The messages you give yourself have an enormous impact on your emotions. And what's even more important, by learning to change your thoughts, you can change the way you feel.
The powerful methods described in this book have helped thousands of people take greater charge of their emotions, their careers, and their personal relationships — and they can help you. It's not always easy. Considerable effort and persistence are sometimes required to snap out of a bad mood. But it can be done! The techniques are practical and straightforward, and you can make them work for you.
This new approach is called "cognitive behavior therapy" because you can learn to change the way you think, the way you behave, and the way you feel. A "cognition" is simply a thought. You may have noticed that when you feel depressed or anxious you are thinking about yourself and your life in a pessimistic, self-critical way. You may wake up feeling discouraged and tell yourself, "Ugh! What's the point in getting out of bed?" You may feel anxious and inferior at a social gathering because you tell yourself, "I don't have anything witty or interesting to say." Cognitive therapists believe that these negative thinking patterns actually cause you to feel depressed and anxious. When you think about your problems in a more positive and realistic way, you will experience greater self-esteem, intimacy, and productivity.
If you want to break out of a bad mood, you must first understand that every type of negative feeling results from a specific kind of negative thought. Sadness and depression result from thoughts of loss. You think you have lost something important to your self-esteem. Perhaps you were rejected by someone you cared a great deal about. You might have retired or lost your job or missed out on an important career opportunity. Frustration results from unfulfilled expectations. You tell yourself that things should be different from the way they really are. For example, "That train shouldn't be so late when I'm in a hurry! Darn it!" Anxiety and panic result from thoughts of danger. Before you give a speech in front of a group of people, you feel nervous because you anticipate that your voice will tremble and your mind will go blank. You imagine that you'll make a fool of yourself. Guilt results from the thought that you are bad. When a friend makes an unreasonable request, you may feel a twinge of guilt and think, "A really nice person would say yes." Then you may agree to something that isn't really in your best interest. Feelings of inferiority result from the thought that you're inadequate in comparison with others. You think, "She's so much better looking than I am" or "He's so much smarter and more successful. What's wrong with me?" Anger results from feelings of unfairness. You tell yourself that someone is treating you unjustly or trying to take advantage of you.
The list on the next page illustrates the connection between your thoughts and your feelings. Study this table carefully. It will help you understand why you're in the mood you're in, and this can make it easier to change the way you feel.
David Burns, The Feeling Good Handbook
Many people believe that their bad moods result from factors beyond their control. They ask, "How can I possibly feel happy? My girlfriend rejected me. Women always put me down." Or they say, "How can I feel good about myself? I'm not particularly successful. I don't have a glamorous career. I'm just an inferior person, and that's reality." Some people attribute their blue moods to their hormones or body chemistry. Others believe that their sour outlook results from some childhood event that has long been forgotten and buried deep in their unconscious. Some people argue that it's realistic to feel bad because they're ill or have recently experienced a personal disappointment. Others attribute their bad moods to the state of the world — the shaky economy, the bad weather, taxes, traffic jams, the threat of nuclear war. Misery, they argue, is inevitable.
Of course there's some truth in all of these ideas. Our feelings undoubtedly are influenced by external events, by our body chemistry, and by conflicts and traumas from the past. However, these theories are based on the notion that our feelings are beyond our control. If you say, "I just can't help the way I feel," you will only make yourself a victim of your misery — and you'll be fooling yourself, because you can change the way you feel.
If you want to feel better, you must realize that your thoughts and attitudes — not external events — create your feelings. You can learn to change the way you think, feel, and behave in the here-and-now. That simple but revolutionary principle can help you change your life.
To illustrate the important relationship between your thoughts and your moods, consider the many ways you might react to a compliment. Suppose I told you, "I really like you. I think you're a neat person." How would you feel? Some people would feel pleased and happy. Others might feel sad and guilty. Some people would feel embarrassed, and some would react with anger and annoyance. What explains such different reactions? It's because of the different ways they might think about the compliment. If you feel sad, you're probably thinking, "Ah, Dr. Burns is just saying that to make me feel good. He's just trying to be nice to me, but he doesn't really mean it." If you feel annoyed, you might be thinking, "He's flattering me. He must be trying to get something from me. Why isn't he more honest?" If you feel good about the compliment, you're likely to be thinking, "Gee, Dr. Burns likes me. That's great!" In each case the external event — the compliment — is the same. The way you feel results entirely from the way you think about it. That's what I mean when I say that your thoughts create your moods.
This is also true when something bad happens. Suppose someone you respect criticizes you. How would you feel? You may feel guilty and inadequate if you tell yourself you're no good and the problem is all your fault. You will feel anxious and worried if you tell yourself that the other person is looking down on you and is going to reject you. You'll feel angry if you tell yourself that it's all their fault and they have no right to say such unfair things. If you have a good sense of self-esteem, you might feel curious and try to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. In each case, your reaction will depend on the way you think about the criticism. The messages you give yourself have an enormous impact on your emotions. And what's even more important, by learning to change your thoughts, you can change the way you feel.
The powerful methods described in this book have helped thousands of people take greater charge of their emotions, their careers, and their personal relationships — and they can help you. It's not always easy. Considerable effort and persistence are sometimes required to snap out of a bad mood. But it can be done! The techniques are practical and straightforward, and you can make them work for you.
This new approach is called "cognitive behavior therapy" because you can learn to change the way you think, the way you behave, and the way you feel. A "cognition" is simply a thought. You may have noticed that when you feel depressed or anxious you are thinking about yourself and your life in a pessimistic, self-critical way. You may wake up feeling discouraged and tell yourself, "Ugh! What's the point in getting out of bed?" You may feel anxious and inferior at a social gathering because you tell yourself, "I don't have anything witty or interesting to say." Cognitive therapists believe that these negative thinking patterns actually cause you to feel depressed and anxious. When you think about your problems in a more positive and realistic way, you will experience greater self-esteem, intimacy, and productivity.
If you want to break out of a bad mood, you must first understand that every type of negative feeling results from a specific kind of negative thought. Sadness and depression result from thoughts of loss. You think you have lost something important to your self-esteem. Perhaps you were rejected by someone you cared a great deal about. You might have retired or lost your job or missed out on an important career opportunity. Frustration results from unfulfilled expectations. You tell yourself that things should be different from the way they really are. For example, "That train shouldn't be so late when I'm in a hurry! Darn it!" Anxiety and panic result from thoughts of danger. Before you give a speech in front of a group of people, you feel nervous because you anticipate that your voice will tremble and your mind will go blank. You imagine that you'll make a fool of yourself. Guilt results from the thought that you are bad. When a friend makes an unreasonable request, you may feel a twinge of guilt and think, "A really nice person would say yes." Then you may agree to something that isn't really in your best interest. Feelings of inferiority result from the thought that you're inadequate in comparison with others. You think, "She's so much better looking than I am" or "He's so much smarter and more successful. What's wrong with me?" Anger results from feelings of unfairness. You tell yourself that someone is treating you unjustly or trying to take advantage of you.
The list on the next page illustrates the connection between your thoughts and your feelings. Study this table carefully. It will help you understand why you're in the mood you're in, and this can make it easier to change the way you feel.