Is there going to be hope?

[so-faraway]

hi, im new here. I don't know what's happening to me...I started cutting about 4 months ago and I stopped because <edit by Admin> I was afraid someone would see it. Luckily, those scars have, for the most part, become unnoticable. Yesterday, I had to do it again. I don't even know why I do this. <edit by Admin> I don't feel good doing it or afterwards, I just can't stop. I think I'm depressed, but not sure...But now I'm getting this urge to self-injure again <edit by Admin>. Sometimes I wonder who could have done this? I don't even think I realize I've done it, if that makes sense? Like right now, I'm in a daze just wondering how I did it. I don't think it's clicked that I cut myself. And it's almost swimming season, I'm going to have to stop for at least 4 months. I won't be able to make it...


<edit by Admin: please read the forum rules: avoid posting graphic details that are likely to be triggering to other forum members>

 

[so-faraway]

hey, im sorry if i freaked people out with this little post...that's kind of why i dont talk to anyone about it. so everyone can just pretend it doesnt exist

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There's nothing wrong with posting about urges to self-injure, so-faraway. Just omit the more graphic details, please. That will help us to keep the forum a safe place for all members to discuss the issues and urges that trouble them and to get feedback from others in similar circumstances.

 

[Eunoia]

yes, there is hope. there's always going to be hope. but it's up to you whether you want to do something about this. is there anything that comes to mind that happened 4 months ago? what made you start again- is there any particular stressor you can think of? if you are in school, can you go talk to a counselor? it does make sense what you're saying about not even realizing it's you si and being in a daze. some people dissociate more or less before and others do so afterwards... I'd guess that most people feel somewhat disconnected when si'ing so they don't even realize the pain. it might not seem like a good enough reason right now, but any reason can be helpful if it gets you to stop si, so if you're worried about others seeing it espec. w/ swim season, then it's kind of like an incentive not to. but you still need to deal w/ whatever is weighing you down and find some other way to get through that. I would consider telling someone about this if you can. in the meantime, check out the post on distractors when you feel like si:http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=536