Is this manic?

[^^Phoenix^^]

I have one I am most proud of , but it is a horror novel, and I suppose it's good cause it scares when I write it and I got running to bed. LOL.

Lol - Its got to be good then!!

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

Guess who finally came in? Bruce! (As I live and breathe.) So I was able to finally know the gratification of presenting him with the completed script & score. He also listened to one of my songs with headphones and I believe he realizes that I have produced a decent product.

We talked a little about the bipolar. He said everyone could tell I was totally disoriented last time I was here, in May of 2004, though they didn't know the diagnosis. That's why the owner had wanted to drive me to SF General, and I got scared and ran out. He also confirmed for me that the types of things I was saying and doing at the time bore no relationship whatsoever to the reality around me.

Pretty scary stuff. I'm still trying to figure out what triggered it, and he suspects it had something to do with my Mom dying, which I guess must be the case. Even now, while somewhat depressed, I am thankful that I'm not like I was then.

So it's nice to be back, however temporarily, because everyone is validating for me that I am better now.

SG - I'm so glad that you are getting this feed back from the people who know you, espeshially about your music. It really is great to hear!

 

[ddHopes]

Guess who finally came in? Bruce! (As I live and breathe.) So I was able to finally know the gratification of presenting him with the completed script & score. He also listened to one of my songs with headphones and I believe he realizes that I have produced a decent product.

We talked a little about the bipolar. He said everyone could tell I was totally disoriented last time I was here, in May of 2004, though they didn't know the diagnosis. That's why the owner had wanted to drive me to SF General, and I got scared and ran out. He also confirmed for me that the types of things I was saying and doing at the time bore no relationship whatsoever to the reality around me.

Pretty scary stuff. I'm still trying to figure out what triggered it, and he suspects it had something to do with my Mom dying, which I guess must be the case. Even now, while somewhat depressed, I am thankful that I'm not like I was then.

So it's nice to be back, however temporarily, because everyone is validating for me that I am better now.

Awesome!!!! Isn't it a great feeling to have your work thumbs upped? I don't mean to say I told ya so................. But you are wonderful at what you do.

I'm so glad he finally came in too. 'Bet it was good to see an ol' friend.

My goodness SG, Losing your Mother would do that to anyone. I'm sure the stress and grief was horrible for you.
I wish you sooooooooooo much luck in your continued healing, and composing.
dd, 4( my mood level today for those who don't know)

 

[ThatLady]

I'm glad to hear Bruce showed up before you had to leave. It's always good to get together with old friends, even if the last time you saw them you weren't at your best. If that is the case, it's good to have someone who knew you then to assure you that you've progressed.

 

[stargazer]

dd, 4 (my mood level today for those who don't know)

I probably ought to do that--it's a scale of 1-10, I assume, but with 1 being what? The most depressed? 10 the most manic? If that's the case, I imagine 4 would be a pretty good reading.

Am working on the 1st movement, it's coming long. I've got the first 36 measures scored and am about to go into a repeat. Also sent a detailed e-mail of explanation to Stan, my old theory-comp professor from the Conservatory where I once studied under him. He always receives my work, and I thought I better let him in on what's happening.

The novel's a different beast altogether. It's up to 59 pages but the concept hasn't clarified for me yet. Not all that into it, really.

I haven't left the cafe since this morning, except to step out front to take breaks. Sure is nice and cool and breezy in San Francisco, and somehow pleasant in the cafe. Depression only strikes when I think about reality, as in where am I going to sleep tonight.

I guess if I stopped to check in, I'd probably be around a "3" with "0" being the most depressed and "10" the most manic.

 

[ddHopes]

Sg, You got the scale right, I've posted it , I think it was moved to introductions (Newbie). But yes, 1-10, 1 severely depressed, with suicidal ideation and 10 manic, I am slowly declining from 8 to 4 this week, 5 is normal, 7 hypo, You get the drift. I helps me keep myself in check with my posts too. You'll never see me post a 1 or 10 cuz I'll be too...............ya know.........

Yeah, my book is hard to write, but it's a challenge, but not a priority right now. I may someday regret it,..........I think what if it's the next best seller :study: and I could be living in Hawaii in a hamoc. LOL.

Reality.... we all have our own views on reality. We'll have to get together on that sometime and compare notes. Okay the reason I say this is that during my psychosis, reality is nonexistant, vs. everyday mania. etc. So my concept on reality is okay like. I'm here sitting at a computer writing to someone Ive never met, tho unrealistic it is now reality. But when I hallucinate that is not reality. AT ALL> DUDE.

I enjoy our conversations very much. You seem to be a very insightful and knowledgable person. I hope we keep in touch here.

Again enjoy being you. It's a good thang.

dd, 4

 

[stargazer]

I guess what I meant by "reality" in this context is just the practical realm: how to eat, where to sleep, how to get from Point A to Point B, etc. I still haven't figured out where I'm going to crash tonight, and it's like 8:45pm already out here in California, so I'm starting to get a little anxious. When I'm working on the flute sonata, I'm zoned into the process, so I temporarily forget about reality, which I suppose is healthy (to the extent that it's keeping me from being too anxious.)

Otherwise, I suppose it's all relative. I believe in an objective reality, actually, but that's only my philosophy. It figures into my musical and all. But the nature of the objective reality is never clearly stated, it's only postulated that there is one, and that delusions of various sorts limit our ability to see it.

 

[ddHopes]

So so very true.

dd, 4

 

[Into The Light]

hi sg i just wanted to say how happy i am for you that bruce showed up. it must be a great feeling to finally show him what you have accomplished!

 

[ddHopes]

I have one I am most proud of , but it is a horror novel, and I suppose it's good cause it scares when I write it and I got running to bed. LOL.

Lol - Its got to be good then!!

I always write around Halloween when the mood is set, and then I light candles and really make it scarey in here. The book is based on two entities( both of whom died during the civil war), so when I write the parts of their mischief it is quite scarey. :yikes: yes.
dd,3

 

[stargazer]

Interesting. I don't have a Halloween connection, but I do relate to the Full Moon. In fact, customers of a certain cafe in the Central Valley claim that I used to always show up on the Full Moon. I think the actual fact was that I would always get paid on the 25th of the month in early 2005, and for a while the Full Moon figured in at around that time. So after I got paid, I'd voyage over to the cafe and spend a buck or two. They figured I was crazed because of the Full Moon, and I would always respond: "In my line of work, we get PAID on the Full Moon." This made them think I was even more crazy than they'd already suspected.

 

[ddHopes]

Goodday, I get really inspired around fall and Halloween with all the horror movies and such.

I do believe there is a definate connection between the moon and our moods tho. Esp. women.

Here are some stories based on that.
http://www.faqfarm.com/Q/Can_mood_swings_be_connected_to_the_moon_phases

dd,3

 

[Halo]

Hi DD

I read most of the article which you posted and was very intrigued that there were so many different responses. Many people believe that the phases of the moon directly affect their mood while many believe that it doesn't. Personally I have never thought of the moon at all as to whether it affects my moods.....I guess there is a little food for thought?

Thanks for post...it was very interesting.

 

[ddHopes]

HI, I'm glad you enjoyed that. I know for certain that I am a beast on a half moon, but when I worked in the hospitals and nursing homes. We had what we called full moon madness, meaning it was soooo chaotic.

I wish I could find some scientific proof, but if the moon can cause tidal waves, imagine what it can do our brain waves. And again a women's cycle ( sorry guys) goes with it too.

I was told once they got the word lunatic from lunar. Not that anyone here is a lunatic. lol. oh my no.

A lunatic (colloquially: "loony") is commonly used term for a person who is mentally ill, dangerous, foolish or unpredictable, a condition once called lunacy.

The word is borrowed via French from Latin "lunaticus", which gains its stem from "luna" for moon, which denotes the traditional link made in folklore between madness and the phases of the moon. This probably refers to the symptoms of cyclic mood disorders such as bipolar disorder or cyclothymia, the symptoms of which may also go through phases. As yet there is little evidence for any causal link between phases of the moon and the progression of mood disorder symptoms.

In a 1999 paper, Raison et al. put forward the interesting hypothesis that the phase of the moon may in the past have had an effect on bipolar patients by providing light during nights which would otherwise have been dark, and affecting susceptible patients through the well-known route of sleep deprivation. With the introduction of electric light, this effect would have gone away, as light would be available every night, explaining the negative results of modern studies. They suggest ways in which this hypothesis might be tested.

....more....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lunatic

dd,3

 

[ddHopes]

I found this too:

Lunar Effect?
Q. My 7-year-old son is bipolar and has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). He is being treated with medications that really seem to work well for him. But during the time of the full moon it's like he is a totally different child and sometimes is out of control.

Once the full moon has past (about three days after), he is back to being controlled. I was wondering if the full moon has any effects on moods? Is there any research about this phenomenon? Are children more prone to this effect?

A. The notion that the phases of the moon can influence behavior is certainly an ancient one, as reflected in the origins of the word, "lunacy" (luna=moon). On the whole, there is not much evidence to support his view. In one Australian study, the relationship between lunar cycles and violent or aggressive behavior was examined [Owen et al, Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, August 1998]. No significant relationship was found between violence and any phase of the moon. Similarly, an English study [Wilkinson et al, International Journal of Social Psychiatry Spring 1997] found no correlation between phases of the moon and consultations for anxiety and depression in general medical practice.

On the other hand, one Russian study [Lucatelli and Pane, Biofizika Sept-Oct 1995] did find that in some cases of manic-depressive illness, "planetary locations in relation to the lunar month could be correlated with the susceptibility to bipolar manic-depressive syndrome." Of course, if this last finding is true, it raises the interesting question of WHY it is true--are people really affected by the moon, the stars, and the planets, or is it their BELIEF in such cosmic forces that makes them susceptible to them?

I remain a skeptic. I think it is much more likely that any variations in your son's mood are due to a combination of (1) his natural mood cycling rate, assuming he does have bipolar disorder; and (2) psychological or social stressors that simply happen to correlate with the full moon--in other words, coincidence.

My suggestion: try keeping a log of any events in your child's life that could be stressful--e.g., problems in school, stress at home, fights with friends, etc.--and seeing if you can find any relationship between these factors and his being out of control. (Also make sure you keep track of any lapses in his use of medication). Even better--if your son can also keep a sort of journal, you can then correlate your own observations with his, and see if you can make sense of the pattern you observe. And remember: the sun rises every morning when we get out of bed and stretch our arms--but that doesn't mean we make the sun rise by stretching!

Resouce: http://www.mhsource.com/expert/exp1010504e.html

It appears to play a bigger role from what I am reading to cyclic disorders more than any...hmmmm. Inter-resting :study:

 

[David Baxter PhD]

It is interesting but I must say that I've yet to see any convincing evidence that mood or mental illness has any real relationship with lunar cycle, beyond coincidence.

 

[ddHopes]

It is interesting but I must say that I've yet to see any convincing evidence that mood or mental illness has any real relationship with lunar cycle, beyond coincidence.

True, coincidence and trying to rationalize our behaviors based on natural causes. I agree. If we could only ask the moon. 8)

dd.3

 

[stargazer]

Shoot for the moon, that's my motto! Seriously though, I have never noticed any connection between my mood swings and the moon.

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

I have never noticed a connection, apart from when I notice that there is a full moon, I can get wistful and romantic!! Lol, probably more because of pop culture and the full moon being a romantic symbol than anything. But still fun. I like it when the full moon is HUGE to. It takes my breath away.

 

[ddHopes]

I love blue moons

and red full moons.

dd,2

What is the moon tonight anyone know? Should I dryclean my werewolf outfit?