Knowbody_Encyde (Story of a madman)

[MistaKnowbody]

I'm not really a mad man, exactly.

I do however wonder sometimes if I'm going off the deep end. I will refrain from telling my darkest secrets and stick to facts, only because I understand this site to be about mental health and psychology. I'm currently a student, for how much longer I am unsure. I am 24 years of age. I have been diagnosed with adult attention deficit disorder and was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. After a few years of research, and being diagnosed yet again, I have found that I have what is called Rapid Cycling BiPolar Disorder. After reading postings on this site I wonder, seriously, if I have Cyclothymia.

Now a little background, I am not a hypochondriac. In fact a friend, a very close friend, a few times a month finds some other disorder that she thinks I have and sends me emails and when I come to her house tries to show me all of this information online. I say all this to push the point that I am not wanting any illness that I possess, if any. I wish that everyone on this site and beyond would miraculously be healed and never again have to deal with the pain and stigma that goes with mental illness and the families it tears apart.

My symptoms:
What feels like Seasonal Depression and this is usually accompanied by
Random headaches (I do wear glasses, I am aware of the effects)
Irritability, upset stomach, Sometimes although few fits of rage, the feeling to completely isolated, total loss of focus and drive, fidgety.

Its hard to remember all that happens between moods from day to day and week to week. When I am in a happy, good, what to me feels like a stable mood (or a manic mood) I can't remember the day before and feel as if I have been happy all my life although I can't give exact examples from earlier days or weeks. I am reminded that the day before or the week before I was talking to someone or writing grimly, acting as if I never wanted to live life again.

the other side is similar, when I am down I describe it as being in the middle of the ocean surrounded by total darkness and I am perched upon a rock and I have no way to leave and no where to go. Its hard to go out and when I do I tend to put on a face of "everything's ok" and I'm told usually doesn't fool anyone. as I said earlier, I'm in school and am forced to be around lots of people.

Iam the one that says I may have seasonal depression, that's just what it feels like, recently. but I may be wrong, I may have felt like this before the cold front that recently hit the Carolinas (I live in North Carolina).


There you have it. I can't think of anything else to write and I'm am tired, already.

thank you for reading, feel free to comment.

---------- Post added at 10:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:16 AM ----------

Pardon the spelling. Although I am a student, I believe spellcheck is one of the greatest things ever invented for the computer.

 

[Daniel E.]

Iam the one that says I may have seasonal depression, that's just what it feels like, recently

I would expect, though, that you would get depressed anyway given a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, a.k.a. manic depression. In any case, the treatment would mostly be the same, e.g. light therapy has been shown to be less effective than CBT for treating seasonal depression.

Are you getting any professional help right now? Like seeing a psychiatrist for meds/evaluation and also seeing a therapist in private practice? And, of course, there is mental health counseling available to students at most universities.

Random headaches (I do wear glasses, I am aware of the effects)

I've never gotten a headache from wearing glasses, at least that I can remember. Is this a new eyeglass prescription, or one that is more than 2 years old?

 

[MistaKnowbody]

true, and maybe this is normal, but it feels like during the winter it lingers around a bit longer. like when I wrote the post earlier I was feeling pretty down and now, not even an hour later, I'm feeling content. it doesn't make any sence to me. CBT, would that be like private counseling?

I've noticed since wearing glasses that when its time for a new perscription I have headaches. I thought this was common. No, the glasses are fairly new, I think, about a year or so. It could also be from the light. I haven't checked in to that.

 

[Daniel E.]

CBT, would that be like private counseling?

Yes. There is more info about it here:

CBT - Cognitive Behavior Therapy - Psychlinks

(Many mental health counselors at universities incorporate CBT, but typically the people who do mental health counseling at universities are less experienced than therapists in private practice.)

Regarding headaches in general, tension headaches are the most common, and depression is one possible trigger is depression (though tension headaches are more commonly associated, as the name suggests, by having tension/stress). However, tension headaches are less likely to cause light sensitivity, unlike migraine headaches.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Also, note that many people with bipolar disorder do experience a seasonal pattern to their moods.

 

[Daniel E.]

On that note, are you exercising just as much?:

There are many possible explanations for an association between weather and regulation of mood. For instance, in better weather people may be more likely to spend time outdoors...So, while weather and mood may be associated, this does not mean that there is necessarily a direct effect of weather on mood.

Mood Oscillations and Coupling Between Mood and Weather in Patients with Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder

Another thing I read is that even in people who experience seasonality with bipolar disorder, the effect tends to be relatively mild:

Seasonality is reported to occur in about 10% of all patients with mood disorders and about 20% of patients with bipolar disorder. Multiple pathophysiologic mechanisms contribute to the etiology of seasonality, and genetic factors may establish vulnerability or protection. However, the intensity of the seasonality effect varies, and most patients including those with bipolar disorder experience only a mild seasonality effect...

Regardless of location, Americans spent 87% of their time indoors plus 6% of time in an enclosed vehicle...

In conclusion, the majority of patients of patients receiving medication for bipolar disorder do not have a seasonal variation in daily self-reported mood ratings. For most patients with bipolar disorder, neither climate nor latitude is a primary determinant of mood changes.

http://www.bipolarlab.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/bauer_2009.pdf

 

[NicNak]

:hithere: MistaKnowbody :welcome: to Psychlinks.

 

[Andy]

Welcome MistaKnowbody:beer2:

 

[forgetmenot]

Welcome to PL

 

[why]

:wave: Welcome

 

[MistaKnowbody]

Thank you all for commenting. I recently found out what my problem was! Depression! which is strange, I thought for sure my friend might be on to something. as funny as it may sound, I'm happy to say I have depression! lol. I am on medication and am feeling better as each day passes.

Theirs someone Encyde now.