Michelle M
Member
l really don't know where to post this, so l will write here. l have started having severe anxiety and panic attacks. l know it was the Easter Holiday but l have no clue why l am so full of attacks again.
l feel like l have a weight on my chest all the time. l was at the Dr. last week and l told her about contacting my daughter after 4 yrs of estrangement only to be told l was not going to be any part of her or my grandchildren's lives and then blocked on Facebook again. The Dr. had told me my blood pressure was very good and to make me see this as l take it as my closure as sad and disappointed as it felt to me. l have not seen my grandchildren in person and also have not seen my 2 children.
Firstly, l can't understand still, after 15 yrs., why it was my husband who was abusive, cheated on me, blowing our family apart and l end up being the hated parent and have to live with this fact every single day of my life.
2ndly, l cannot wrap the fact that the children who meant so very much to me, like so many other children called "The Millennials" have and keep an estrangement from any parent/s that is happening at an alarming rate.... l am not talking about abused children, but the fact children can just have throw away their parents/siblings so easy..
l was born in the 60's and was taught to be very respectful of parents, deserved or not, respect for our elders, teachers and other parents.. l do not have an easy time with my Mother and she can still make me feel badly, but she is 85 yrs old and she is my Mother. We have never had an easy mother/daughter relationship but l do try to include her in my life as she does with me. No matter if l agreed with her parenting skills or not, l understand she did the best under her situation at the time. l was always there on Holidays and special events... l just cannot wrap my head around the fact, my children can shut me out of their lives..
They told me l was a good Mother, years ago and then instead of talking to me about any problems they had with me, l was just shut out one day and my Daughter said l was a stranger to me now... l honestly cannot believe their sudden, abrupt disappearance from my life... Now l am alone and l just go day to day, coming to realization, l am not welcome their lives. l have seen this happen to other parents and when did human beings become so easily disposable in this society.
lt is coming to grips with this fact that has been so hard for me..
l feel like l have a weight on my chest all the time. l was at the Dr. last week and l told her about contacting my daughter after 4 yrs of estrangement only to be told l was not going to be any part of her or my grandchildren's lives and then blocked on Facebook again. The Dr. had told me my blood pressure was very good and to make me see this as l take it as my closure as sad and disappointed as it felt to me. l have not seen my grandchildren in person and also have not seen my 2 children.
Firstly, l can't understand still, after 15 yrs., why it was my husband who was abusive, cheated on me, blowing our family apart and l end up being the hated parent and have to live with this fact every single day of my life.
2ndly, l cannot wrap the fact that the children who meant so very much to me, like so many other children called "The Millennials" have and keep an estrangement from any parent/s that is happening at an alarming rate.... l am not talking about abused children, but the fact children can just have throw away their parents/siblings so easy..
l was born in the 60's and was taught to be very respectful of parents, deserved or not, respect for our elders, teachers and other parents.. l do not have an easy time with my Mother and she can still make me feel badly, but she is 85 yrs old and she is my Mother. We have never had an easy mother/daughter relationship but l do try to include her in my life as she does with me. No matter if l agreed with her parenting skills or not, l understand she did the best under her situation at the time. l was always there on Holidays and special events... l just cannot wrap my head around the fact, my children can shut me out of their lives..
They told me l was a good Mother, years ago and then instead of talking to me about any problems they had with me, l was just shut out one day and my Daughter said l was a stranger to me now... l honestly cannot believe their sudden, abrupt disappearance from my life... Now l am alone and l just go day to day, coming to realization, l am not welcome their lives. l have seen this happen to other parents and when did human beings become so easily disposable in this society.
lt is coming to grips with this fact that has been so hard for me..
