Mrbilly0028
Member
Hello. For quite some time, I have been feeling as if I am constantly searching for something, and I never feel fulfilled. When I go to a store to pass the time, I always do so with the premise that there are things that I am looking for, and they are magically going to appear for me. Also, I have been looking for a hobby, and I am not finding much of anything that is truly exciting for me. I have not lost interest in anything, I just feel empty inside even though I will be married soon, and I have a new baby on the way. I am a college graduate, and I have been, literally all over the world teaching English as a foreign language. Through these accomplishments, I have still felt un-fulfilled. But I am hoping that someone perhaps with a similar story can help...
When I was seven years old, I had a very traumatic thing happen in my life. My father told me that he was going to see me the next day, and I went over to his house ( my parents were divorced since I was three), and knocked and knocked on the front door, but nobody answered. Finally, after about fifteen or twenty minutes of crying and standing in the snow waiting, the neighbor came out to me and told me that he had left the night before. Shortly after I had left. Clearly, I feel abandoned, and I feel a bit of resentment towards him, but I try to still keep in contact with him even though it is a bit difficult. I am sure that someone here would be able to help me to cope with this, because I feel as if it is still affecting me some 21 years later.
The main concerns that I have are pretty simple in nature, but not so easily avoided. The fact of the matter is that I believe that my soon to be wife could be feeling a sense of being smothered. I feel this because of her lack of intimacy. After talking to a reproductive specialist, she assured me that this could be normal during a pregnancy. But the idea is that I don't want to smother her because I am afraid that she is going to leave me. I am never content with just staying in one place, and I want her to be able to feel secure. I feel that she would not be secure if we have to keep moving around because, as I have thought, I am looking for something because my father left me. How do I deal with these abandonment issues? How can I be content in my own life? Most importantly, how can I help my soon to be family reach there greatest potential without me having to constantly worry about her taking our new baby and running away? Thank you so very much, and I hope that someone out there can help me.
When I was seven years old, I had a very traumatic thing happen in my life. My father told me that he was going to see me the next day, and I went over to his house ( my parents were divorced since I was three), and knocked and knocked on the front door, but nobody answered. Finally, after about fifteen or twenty minutes of crying and standing in the snow waiting, the neighbor came out to me and told me that he had left the night before. Shortly after I had left. Clearly, I feel abandoned, and I feel a bit of resentment towards him, but I try to still keep in contact with him even though it is a bit difficult. I am sure that someone here would be able to help me to cope with this, because I feel as if it is still affecting me some 21 years later.
The main concerns that I have are pretty simple in nature, but not so easily avoided. The fact of the matter is that I believe that my soon to be wife could be feeling a sense of being smothered. I feel this because of her lack of intimacy. After talking to a reproductive specialist, she assured me that this could be normal during a pregnancy. But the idea is that I don't want to smother her because I am afraid that she is going to leave me. I am never content with just staying in one place, and I want her to be able to feel secure. I feel that she would not be secure if we have to keep moving around because, as I have thought, I am looking for something because my father left me. How do I deal with these abandonment issues? How can I be content in my own life? Most importantly, how can I help my soon to be family reach there greatest potential without me having to constantly worry about her taking our new baby and running away? Thank you so very much, and I hope that someone out there can help me.
