gooblax
MVP
No idea, I've never called him. He did a same-day reply the one time on sms but it could have been a coincidence. He replied to one email quickly too (ie. the next Tues/Thurs afternoon, for my last session booking).
- Thread starter gooblax
- Start date
Pre-Internet boom, when therapy was more easily covered by insurance, many therapists/psychologists had receptionists during the day and had an answering service off hours, such as for emergencies, and would get back to you as needed.
one perspective:
The Pros and Cons of Emails Between Doctor and Patients
Do not use email for urgent communications. Use the telephone. You usually have no idea how quickly your email will be read.
one perspective:
The Pros and Cons of Emails Between Doctor and Patients
Do not use email for urgent communications. Use the telephone. You usually have no idea how quickly your email will be read.
gooblax
MVP
Yeah he does have a receptionist but because I'm seeing him at a time of day when it's an "if he's available at that time" thing, the receptionist used to have to ask him and get back to me afterwards cause she didn't know that part of his calendar. So I guess he just decided it was easier to manage without a middleman when he suggested the email thing.
I also don't think anyone would see it as urgent. Plus talking to him probably won't even help.
I also don't think anyone would see it as urgent. Plus talking to him probably won't even help.
With online therapy, you can see any therapist in the world, relatively speaking. So to me, he is not acting very competitive. For e-mails concerning scheduling, my local therapists have usually replied within 24 hours (often within several hours), though not always.
And these days, some therapists let you book online instantly with an online calendar.
And these days, some therapists let you book online instantly with an online calendar.
Honestly, given the ongoing nature of these e-mail issues, I do wonder if you would be better off with a therapist who didn't seem to frustrate you as much (at least logistically), inadvertently or not.
Or perhaps simply calling his office will trigger him to remember to respond to his email.
Or perhaps simply calling his office will trigger him to remember to respond to his email.
gooblax
MVP
That's why my first plan is to ask that we schedule things in a different way and stop using email. We can figure out a way to notify of cancellations (perhaps via reception for those) but otherwise there should be no need for emails whatsoever.
Calling the office likely won't result in a faster response. It also seems like a dumb thing for me to stress out over. But it just isn't a helpful thing to have to deal with and there's a pretty easy solution to remove the problem for next time.
I'm up to my 5th "angry response award" at work since the 30th (although I awarded myself two counts for something rather than just the one).
Calling the office likely won't result in a faster response. It also seems like a dumb thing for me to stress out over. But it just isn't a helpful thing to have to deal with and there's a pretty easy solution to remove the problem for next time.
I'm up to my 5th "angry response award" at work since the 30th (although I awarded myself two counts for something rather than just the one).
I think best for gooblaroo to stick with this guy. Just find a way to eliminate the bull regarding scheduling.
She knows him, he knows her and I’m assuming he understands Aussie which eliminates someone else constantly responding with “I don’t have a ****** clue what you just said.
She knows him, he knows her and I’m assuming he understands Aussie which eliminates someone else constantly responding with “I don’t have a ****** clue what you just said.
Scheduling is so basic though, which is why I would call his office. Imagine having to e-mail your dentist to make an appointment and then waiting for a reply about when you can be seen for a toothache.
And (more so in theory than practice) a good therapist proactively and regularly solicits feedback from clients about the therapeutic process/relationship, especially anything that is not favorable. It's important to speak up in any case to get the most out of therapy.
Why Do People Leave Therapy Prematurely?
Healing in therapy is not just about getting results and meeting goals; it is also about the process of the therapeutic relationship. It is about how things unfold as you are exploring issues with your therapist. Therefore, sometimes constructive feedback is needed from people in therapy to minimize impasses and misunderstandings. This proactive approach can itself be a reflection of significant growth. For example, let’s say this person has relational difficulties, such as discussing vulnerable feelings. This is a wonderful opportunity to practice giving constructive feedback, which the person can then apply to other relationships. A competent therapist will often be very receptive to constructive feedback at any time during the sessions.
Why Do People Leave Therapy Prematurely?
Healing in therapy is not just about getting results and meeting goals; it is also about the process of the therapeutic relationship. It is about how things unfold as you are exploring issues with your therapist. Therefore, sometimes constructive feedback is needed from people in therapy to minimize impasses and misunderstandings. This proactive approach can itself be a reflection of significant growth. For example, let’s say this person has relational difficulties, such as discussing vulnerable feelings. This is a wonderful opportunity to practice giving constructive feedback, which the person can then apply to other relationships. A competent therapist will often be very receptive to constructive feedback at any time during the sessions.
gooblax
MVP
Half the problem (or more than half) with the scheduling has been caused by me and I completely recognise that. I said I was uncomfortable with him emailing to suggest a time (because I'd get caught up in yes-no-yes-no ing), so he started leaving it up to me.
Which is how I'm guessing most of his clients do it, except most of his clients are in-person and just decide when they want the appointment and book it via reception. But that avenue doesn't work for me (as explained by the time slot not being on his regular office hours so isn't managed by reception).
So it has just become increasingly difficult (as it actually seems to make the yes-no-yes-no ing worse) and we need to realign with what we're actually doing, and I think the answer is for me to accept that I'll still be yes-no-yes-no ing but to pre-commit for awhile despite that going on. Assuming he's still fine to keep working with me and is OK with that arrangement too.
Hopefully he'll reply today. If not I might text him but I'm not sure what to say and he hasn't invited me to text him this time so I dunno if that's a good idea or what.
Which is how I'm guessing most of his clients do it, except most of his clients are in-person and just decide when they want the appointment and book it via reception. But that avenue doesn't work for me (as explained by the time slot not being on his regular office hours so isn't managed by reception).
So it has just become increasingly difficult (as it actually seems to make the yes-no-yes-no ing worse) and we need to realign with what we're actually doing, and I think the answer is for me to accept that I'll still be yes-no-yes-no ing but to pre-commit for awhile despite that going on. Assuming he's still fine to keep working with me and is OK with that arrangement too.
Hopefully he'll reply today. If not I might text him but I'm not sure what to say and he hasn't invited me to text him this time so I dunno if that's a good idea or what.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Go ahead and text him.
gooblax
MVP
He replied. Session on the 24th. Guess that'll do.
gooblax
MVP
I'm still feeling really sad when I think about trying to talk to my therapist about stuff to the point that I don't know if I'll be able to say anything. I'm going to try writing a "in case I don't want to talk" list over the week.
Just had cake and chips for dinner after I got home, sat at the computer and tried to mindlessly distract myself from thoughts that make me upset and sad... so life as a 30y.o. is clearly going well. :facepalm:
Just had cake and chips for dinner after I got home, sat at the computer and tried to mindlessly distract myself from thoughts that make me upset and sad... so life as a 30y.o. is clearly going well. :facepalm:
Hang in there young lady
You are just reaching the prime of your life. My best years were in my 30's. And my teenage years were in my 40's after the heart attack and triple bypass and the nasty divorce things got pretty wild for a few years in Quebec and when I moved here. I had my ups and down suicidal years but those followed me all my life. But if I look back there were some really great times. Some stories are almost unbelievable yet true.
Trust me on this one, the best years are ahead of you for another 25-30 years if not more. Experienced in your field, less and less treated as a child etc (well except for you mom but that'll probably last forever):lol:
Making progress (slow is still progress) dealing with some of your issues. Way more assertive than just 2 years ago. I could go on and on.
Enjoy the next 20 years to their fullest because after that life is like a roll of toilet paper the closer you get to the end the faster it goes.
Then when you get to my age in 27 years you can look back, smile and say, yeah Gary was right. These were great Years.
Them when you get to Dr B's age.... (Anything up or down is possible) :rofl:
You are just reaching the prime of your life. My best years were in my 30's. And my teenage years were in my 40's after the heart attack and triple bypass and the nasty divorce things got pretty wild for a few years in Quebec and when I moved here. I had my ups and down suicidal years but those followed me all my life. But if I look back there were some really great times. Some stories are almost unbelievable yet true.
Trust me on this one, the best years are ahead of you for another 25-30 years if not more. Experienced in your field, less and less treated as a child etc (well except for you mom but that'll probably last forever):lol:
Making progress (slow is still progress) dealing with some of your issues. Way more assertive than just 2 years ago. I could go on and on.
Enjoy the next 20 years to their fullest because after that life is like a roll of toilet paper the closer you get to the end the faster it goes.
Then when you get to my age in 27 years you can look back, smile and say, yeah Gary was right. These were great Years.
Them when you get to Dr B's age.... (Anything up or down is possible) :rofl:
That is a good point, e.g. stress decreases as age/habituation increases.
Another point:
In the old days, I remember when my dad would combat stress by taking us every month or so to go fishing, etc. Now, stress is managed more by technological means that may not be as effective, e.g. less social or outdoorsy.
Another point:
In the old days, I remember when my dad would combat stress by taking us every month or so to go fishing, etc. Now, stress is managed more by technological means that may not be as effective, e.g. less social or outdoorsy.
Here to cheer you up... dentist made me suffer I got a hole the size of a crater that barely starting to thaw and already hurts. Managed to swallow a T3 and 2mg clonazepam since I’m not sure which will be worse the pain or the anxiety :rofl:
Weird pic is upside down that hole is top left back. My last molar �� gone
Weird pic is upside down that hole is top left back. My last molar �� gone
gooblax
MVP
I've written some stuff for the session and put it all in the one place rather than having it spread out across post-it notes. I dunno if I'll quit or what. I don't think there's any changing the main thing that needs to change. So if not that, is there any point in any of it?
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Because you're wrong. It can be changed. Pretty much anything can be changed with time and effort.
The only thing standing in your way is your obsession about quitting. And even that can be changed.
"Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person."
"After all, this is how you learned how to walk. You didn't just jump up from your crib one day and waltz gracefully across the room. You stumbled and fell on your face and got up and tried again. At what age are you suddenly expected to know everything and never make any more mistakes? If you can love and respect yourself in failure, worlds of adventure and new experiences will open up before you, and your fears will vanish."
― David D. Burns
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