Need Advice on How to Cope At Work

[texasgirl]

I am back to work in my new role but am still having a lot of trouble focusing on complex issues or long complex conversations. I just "fade out" and absolutely cannot process what people are saying. When I try to respond, I hear my words as many times having nothing to do with the topic (even remotely) and have to try hard to shift into an answer that comes close to questions being put before me. I am better now in the mornings, but because I am trying to struggle through a whole day of work especially in a new job, I don't want to be perceived as weird or inappropriate. I also feel most comfortable with a closed door and quiet so have tried to manage by doing this for as much as is possible in the office environment. Does anyone have any ideas about how to handle this or when this will go away?

TG

 

[Halo]

TexasGirl,

I know how hard it is to be in an office setting and be struggling with issues and especially concentration/focus at the same time. I think keeping your door closed is a good thing and if you can continue that then do so. If this is different behaviour from the rest of your colleagues and you feel the need to explain why you want or need your door closed (which was the case in our firm with my former boss, she replied that she was more productive with her door closed and they were more than happy with that).

As for having conversations and maintaining attention, if you find that you are more alert in the mornings then I would attempt to schedule any important, detail oriented meetings in the a.m. and leave the p.m.'s for lighter more solitary work to be completed with your door closed. I know it may be difficult especially if you are not the one setting up the meeting and in those circumstances I was wondering if you could either take thorough notes during the complex conversations/meetings or even a small hand-held tape recorder that you could play back to yourself later to make sure you heard all the information correctly. About answering any important questions that you are unsure you heard correctly, your response to them could be "can I get back to you on that shortly" and then go into your office when you have a chance with the door closed, listen to the tape and formulate what you want your answer to be.

Of course I am just throwing some ideas out here, thinking out loud :thinking: and brainstorming :brainstorm: If I think of any others that people have used that I know of, I will let you know.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[texasgirl]

I think that some of these ideas may in fact work unless people come into my office for meetings where I can't "escape" back to my office. I am taking notes as best as possible so that I can try to capture at least some of what they are saying. And I am trying to schedule the most tedious meetings in the am. I just think that people not knowing what's going on (and of course they can't) must make them wonder what's wrong with me. And that fact drags me down because I know that I am not working up to the speed that is expected of me. I feel like such a loser among my colleagues.

 

[Halo]

I have also gone through that feeling "less than" with my colleagues because I didn't feel like I was performing up to par with them but I know that when I am able to I do perform I make sure that I go above and beyond almost to make up for the times that I can't. I probably don't have to but at least it makes me feel okay within myself when I can't give 100% because of how I feel.

Are you saying that they can't know because it is a new place and you can't run the risk of them finding out or could you just say that you are having medical issues? I used that one for a year or so at my office when I didn't feel comfortable telling my bosses at the time what was really going on with me. They were understanding when I used that and it is not untrue so I didn't feel like I was lying to them and they actually eased up on me too which helped.

I would definitely try not to worry about what people are thinking about you and whether they are wondering what is wrong with you...everyone has bad days and they may just be chalking it up to that or maybe they could be thinking nerves from starting a new job, PMS, really they could be thinking anything but it doesn't really matter because you are doing what you can and everyone has their good days and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks. I don't think that anybody can say that they give 100% every second of every day of every week and never have off times. Everyone is human with their own issues and lives outside of the four walls of the office just some are better at hiding their issues/problems than others.

Oh, sorry I am rambling again....becoming a bit of a habit with me lately

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[texasgirl]

Thank you so much for taking the time Nancy to respond. Your advice is really thoughtful. I like the "medical issues" idea - nebulous enough and as you say truthful. (Permanent PMS would explain alot!! )

I am probably hardest on myself and, like you, feel like I have to make up for the down times...

I see my doctors tonight so will also talk to them and see if the medicine is right also.

:hug:

TG

 

[Halo]

TG,

No need to thank me for the responses as I am truly glad to offer them and that some of what I wrote might be helpful. I have definitely been in your situation many times over the past few years and can only offer what I have done to try and make it through work with the least amount of interruptions and strange looks/raised eyebrowns from others.

My thinking in saying "medical issues" was that it covered such a wide range of things that I found that it normally stopped people in their tracks because most times they knew that if I wanted to divulge further information to them then I would. If I just left it at "medical issues" with no further explanation they took it to mean that was personal and really none of their business but to bear with me through this trying time which is exactly what I wanted them to know.

I am glad that you see your doctor tonight and please let us/me know how it goes. You will get through this hard time at work TG, I know you will :hug:

Take care and your in my thoughts.
:hug: :hug:

 

[Cat Dancer]

I think you are hard on yourself. You're definitely not a loser or anything like that. I think you're amazing what you're doing.

I've never worked in an office, but one thing I thought of is having something to help ground you like a smooth stone or a marble or something to hold or a picture to look at that brings you peace. I know this is helpful to me during the day just as a mom.

:hug:

Wishing you the best.

 

[Halo]

That is definitely good advice Janet....good thinking

Although you say "just as a mom"....from what I hear that is just as hard, if not harder than working in an office