Need Some Help

[texasgirl]

My niece was critically injured this afternoon when she deliberately jumped out of my brother's car because she was getting in trouble for sneaking out of the house. She was immediately hit by another car and is now in ICU with a crushed pelvis, bleeding spleen, liver, pancreas, bladder and 7 broken ribs. She is only 17 and an honor student but has recently gotten into drugs and a tough crowd of kids. We are all devastated since she may not make it. I just don't know what kids think about when they opt to jump out of a moving car on a highway or what to say to her except that I love her so much. She was graduating from high school in a month. Suicide runs in our family, and she has attempted more than once before. I keep running over in my mind what I could have said to her to make a difference, what any of us could have done. We tried to put her in a psych hospital last week but she talked us out of it. I think that it was an impulsive act mainly out of anger for not getting to do what she wanted but it is so incredibly hard to believe that that anger and self destructive behavior is not a sign of severe illness. I just don't know what to do. We don't know if she will live through the night since she is in very critical condition. Has anyone been through anything like this?

 

[ThatLady]

I have, Texas girl, twice with my daughter. Once was a suicide attempt, the other time was a nearly fatal car accident (possibly another suicide attempt). It's a heart-rending expierience, and very hard on everyone involved. It's difficult not to get into self-blaming mode ... Where did I go wrong? What could I have done differently? What should I have said or done to prevent this?

The truth is, there's nothing you can do, and nothing you could have done. While you can love her with all your heart, your neice makes the decisions for her life. Until she can love herself enough to value and honor the life she's been given, there's nothing anyone else can do to make her do so. It's kinda like therapy. You can take someone to the therapist, but you can't make them actively participate. They have to want to change ... to want to get better.

My heart goes out to you, and to the rest of her family and friends. I do hope she makes it through this. Perhaps, she will reach an epiphany this time. Perhaps, she will realize that life really does have value, and is worth working for.

Please, keep us posted. :hug:

 

[Halo]

Hi TexasGirl,

I just wanted to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this rough time and I truly hope that your niece will pull through.

Take care of yourself and keep us updated.
:hug: :hug:

 

[foghlaim]

Hi Texasgirl,

Thinking of your Niece and You & family. I hope she pulls through.

:hug:
:hug:

 

[texasgirl]

Thank you all for your kind words of support. She is still in very critical condition but made it through the night. I agree that she has to see the value of her life and all the wonderful things God has given her and last but not least that she is so loved. There is a song that Emmy Lou Harris sings (actually written by someone else whose name escapes me whose brother committed suicide) called "Sweet Old World". It says it all. I really appreciate your support. Although I don't often post, I do read what everyone says here every day and I am continually amazed at the strength and genuine caring of everyone here.

 

[Into The Light]

texasgirl my heart goes out to you and your family. it must be so painful to see something like this happen. i am very glad she pulled through the night. hopefully she'll keep making it through. just let her know that you love her and that you are there for her. :hug:

 

[Cat Dancer]

I just wanted to say you and your family are in my thoughts too.

 

[foghlaim]

Hi texasgirl... anymore update on your niece?? how she doing?
I hope she has made some improvements in the past few days.

((hugs))

 

[Superiority Tails]

I hope she feels better. It's hard to keep people from commiting suicide. I think it would be best after the recovery to get her some more help. I wish you the best of luck.:hug:

 

[texasgirl]

Hello everyone - I just got back from Texas. My niece survived her 7 hour surgery - we are waiting now on the outcome regarding paralysis. It was definitely touch and go for a while because of all the internal bleeding and the extent of her injuries, but she is a trooper. She said that although she wanted to die when she jumped out of the car she knew when she first hit the ground that she didn't. We are all trying to show her how much we love her. Thank you all for your support.

 

[Cat Dancer]

It is good to hear she is doing better.

Lots of hugs and good thoughts for all of you. :hug:

 

[ThatLady]

That's wonderful news on all counts, Texasgirl! Sometimes, the very worst of things bring good things with them. It sounds like this is one of those cases. My best wishes to you and your family. :hug:

 

[texasgirl]

Thanks yall. We are keeping our fingers crossed

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

I'm so relieved to hear that texasgirl, and happy that she made the choice of life after it all. The whole thing must have been totally exhausting and I'm glad that you are doing better. You may need to be there for her for a while, or as long as you can be, however. I tried to kill myself when I was 16. Afterwards, I told myself that I wanted to live, and I did for a long while, but last year, at age 24, something happened, and I decided that it wasn't worth it again. I know I'm not being clear - but I guess I'm just trying to let you know that she may still need your help.

 

[texasgirl]

Phoenix, I am sorry to hear about your situation and hope that you are getting all the help you can for yourself. I too tried to commit suicide several years ago and was lucky to have the phone ring and someone to send an ambulance before I succeeded. I will be there for my niece as will the rest of her family to let her know how much we love her. We are also getting her aligned with a good therapist who will see her daily while she is in the hospital which will be for several months. Take care of yourself.

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

Oh - seriously don't worry about me, I have a really good safty net-work of family and friends, and I have admitted to myself that I have a tendancy to want to give up perhaps easier than other people. I guess I just wanted to press on you the fact that it may not be over. But that made me sound like a doomsdayer - so I wanted to tell you why I felt that way.

I am so glad that she is ok though. And that she is getting immediate therapy.

 

[stargazer]

Hi Texasgirl, I just read about your niece. That's horrible what happened, but it's great that she is making it. I have seen that often when a person does something foolish in an effort to assert their independence, and then they experience the consequences of that action; they later find out that the love of friends and family is much more important than the false sense of independence they were trying to hang onto. It's not real freedom, really, but only a kind of rebellion. A lot of the kids who get into drugs become this way, and often they are some of our more intelligent young people, unfortunately.

Maybe this event will be a catalyst for positive change for your niece. I am glad she has a loving family to be supportive of her at this time.

 

[texasgirl]

Hi SG: We are surely hoping that our love for her will help to pull her through. We are very worried right now because she is continuing to bleed and her platelet count is way off so that her blood won't clot. The hematologists are working with her surgeons to try to improve the situation but there is continual concern that she will "bleed out" because of the extent of her injuries. In any case, thank you for your kind words of support and I will keep everyone posted.

 

[stargazer]

That doesn't sound so good..I am praying for her, and for all of you. I'll wait to hear from you again.

 

[Into The Light]

my thoughts are with you, your niece and your family, texasgirl. i really hope she can pull through. :hug: