Opening up

[boi]

I was analyzing my behaviour as usual and it seems like I am worried what my therapist thinks of me. I am examining beliefs about myself and I worry about certain things. For example, lets say I have certain issues and beliefs does that mean you will attract someone with issues as well. Well this is not always the case right? I mean I might have had bad relationships in the past but I dont now and just because I might have low self esteem it doesnt mean I will attract someone with low self esteem right? I don't want my therapist to think that I am in this crappy relationship because I have certain issues. My relationship could be better but it is not bad. I am with a really good guy. I don't know why I am so concerned with what my therapist thinks to begin with. I think I will tell her next time that I am not in a bad relationship. Things just seem to come up, small complaints about relationships and other things and I am so concerned with what the therapist thinks of me and my relationship.

 

[Into The Light]

what about your relationship has you worried? what do you think is "wrong" that would make him/her judge it?

 

[boi]

I dont know how to explain it. I feel like I will be judged for the only reason that I have unhealthy core beliefs. I guess it is the fact that I'm afraid to think there is something wrong with my relationship. I mean there are some communication issues but we are always trying to make it better. I worry that maybe there is something else wrong that I don't see. Is that possible?

 

[Into The Light]

I feel like I will be judged for the only reason that I have unhealthy core beliefs.

you won't be judged for that. i think a reason people often do seek out therapy is because of difficulties they can't work out anymore which may be a result of unhealthy core beliefs. the therapist is there to help you identify and work through those beliefs and change them, so that you no longer have difficulties caused by them.

I guess it is the fact that I'm afraid to think there is something wrong with my relationship.

do you think deep down there actually is something wrong with the relationship?

what would the worst case scenario be for you if this turned out to be the case?

 

[boi]

I think there are some things that could be better in my relationship but I think I am really afraid that we will grow apart now that I am in therapy. That would be the worst case scenario....I should think positively and think that therapy for me will make my relationship stronger and worse.

 

[Lana]

It's not uncommon to worry about that when going through therapy. I, too, had issues with that. I chose to "include" my husband in my progress and would discuss some (not all) things with him that I felt...well...comfortable is the wrong word because I wasn't....I discussed things that I felt brave enough to discuss. It was hard for both of us, but I think it helped us build intimacy and in the end, brought us closer.

Do you think it's something you could do with your partner?

 

[boi]

thanks into the light and lana...

Lana, that's what I sort of do. I "include" my partner as well in the process. I tell him stuff that I am working on and he is supportive. thats why I shouldn't worry I guess. I think it's just a process, my meds and therapy is still all new to me really.