Question about EMDR

[QueenMary48]

Hi, it has been so many months since I have been here . While I bellieve I have made strides and I am more aware, I am stuck and have been for some time. Recently my psychologist suggested something callled EMDR. I cried for hours. I think it is the same fear I had when he suggested medication. I am stuck, I know it and while my sadness has shifted it is still there and I am afraid this is my life. Has anyone done this , what do you think

 

[crash]

I am stuck, I know it and while my sadness has shifted it is still there and I am afraid this is my life.

Can you elaborate more on this?

As far as EMDR, I have a friend whom was treated as part of her MSW at University of Buffalo; she said it was a really powerful technique which brought up a lot of emotions at the time, but also quite effective. according to her, it was like picking at an old wound, but well worth it in the end.

hope this helped.

Jason

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There are several articles and threads about EMDR in this section, QueenMary.

It's a technique that seems to work well for some people and not at all for others. But you have nothing to lose by giving it a try. If it works for you, great. If it doesn't, there are other oprions.

 

[QueenMary48]

May I ask what other options there are. I read some and I am afraid. Of course fear is definetely a big part of what is holding me in this stuck pattern. I am starting to rethink medication but wonder what other options I have. Would this be something you can tell me about.

I tried to put how I felt to something real and could only come up with being in cold grey water alone. Unsure of whether to sink below the surface or swim. But often to afraid to move for fear of something hurting me . I know I am stuck I know that a year ago I was in a much sadder place. but I also know that there is just an overall sadness about me. I cant change the past but I also fear the rest of my life just being sad. There is an anger in me that scares me and the grey that hangs over me is to much to bare. Any advice would be most helpful. Thank you Mr. Baxter. Maryann

 

[David Baxter PhD]

First, what is it that you've read about EMDR that worries you? It is a fairly non-invasive procedure, other than revisiting the traumatic memories.

Second, my advice is to discuss the medication options with your psychiatrist. Again, what are your reservations about medications?

 

[QueenMary48]

When I finally let the gate open, when I finally released so much of what I was holding in, part of what I was feeling was anger. I was so angry at the world at god at my family, life. I couldnt have children, my family held such anger and resentment to me for marrying somone. They never have given him a chance. My life was such a struggle emotionially, I turned people away when they offered to help. My dearest friend hurt me.

I realize this is just a pinch of what I felt. It would take too long to go into it all. For a year I have opened up and written 2 long journals and yes at one point it was suggested I take medication. It frightened me, but mostly at that time I somehow had it in my head that I deserved these emotions. I deserved to be sad and angry, for the first time in my life I was allowing it to come out and not sweeping it deep under the carpet like I always had but again I know me I know that for some reason when people offer to help I feel like I dont deserve it. In my head I think oh your just saying that you dont mean it or why are you trying to push me away. Sorry its hard to sum all this up.

As for EMDR well that is something I thought about but I will be honest with you. It would take time and I would have to share that with people I love. When I realized that I didnt like me or what I had become or that I was so sad and angry I sought help from a friend someone who is a psychologist. He has been so supportive and helpful. And I have learned so much about why I feel this way and how I got here and now its time to move forward let go of the anchor I am holding not be afraid to let help in. But I never told anyone about this. I journalled in private, would give it to him to read and then talk abit. My husband whom I love does not understand the concept of depression. He is a strong man who just deals with it. He knows I havent been myself and wants me to fix it. But for me to try EMDR would mean having to tell him how much I have done so far and I know he wouldnt understand. Then there is just how I am feeling right now. Somedays I think yes do it you can, and then I think whats the point your not worth it, no one really cares. I am stuck I know I am stuck I battle these things in my head daily. It wierd how I thought this would all work. YOu ask for help someone gives you these wonderful words and then you go aha and your done. But its not, its hard you hurt and you cry and you are sad and you get so used to that its part of what your whole life has been and suddenly someone says okay try these pills or this program and you will find strenght and hope and you will get unstuck in time and feel better. But I am scared, this is all I have known ,its like jumping out of a plane scary but exhilarting. But for me I have always just turned away and said no I cant I wont I am to afraid.

Dr. Baxter I am sorry I didnt mean to go on I hope this explains some of what I am feeling. Thank you.
Queenmary

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm not sure I understand, Mary.

Therapy is mostly a personal journey. Why do you feel you need to explain it or divulge what happens to anyone, including your husband? People who have never experienced depression or an anxiety disorder or PTSD often do have difficulty understanding how it is different from the "normal" human emotions of sadness, the blues, nervousness, shock, stress, etc. But any competent therapist would know the difference, of course.

At the beginning of this thread you said:

Recently my psychologist suggested something callled EMDR. I cried for hours. I think it is the same fear I had when he suggested medication. I am stuck, I know it and while my sadness has shifted it is still there and I am afraid this is my life.

That sounds as if you are viewing the suiggestions of medication or EMDR as some sort of personal failure... But then you say you are "stuck". Perhaps the reason medication was suggested and more frecently EMDR was suggested was precisely because your psychologist is aware that you are stuck and having difficulty progressing beyond the point where you find yourself now.

My guess is that if this is the case you should perhaps reconsider the recommendations the psychologist is providing. Again, I'd ask why do you hestitate about taking medication? What worries you about EMDR? What do you hav e to lose by trying these suggestions?

You consulted an expert because you recognized you neded help. Why then reject the advice of the expert you consulted?

 

[Into The Light]

you don't have to explain everything to your husband. you can just say you are going to therapy because you're struggling with depression. there's no need to explain all the details of what technique is used to help you deal with your emotions. maybe i'm missing something here. does your husband know you are in therapy? if yes, then great. just keep going, and don't worry that it's EMDR or some other technique. if he doesn't know, you could tell him you've decided to go because you've been struggling so much and you want to make life better than it has been.

 

[QueenMary48]

Dr. Baxter

Thank you for responding.

Fear is a bit part of my problem. I run away, its what I have done. Approaching my friend, speaking to my own family Dr, even contacting Psychlinks took me years. It wasn't until I felt like I was going to explode, where I couldn't sweep under the carpet anymore how I felt, that gave me the strength to approach any of you. For me this was tremendous but when I opened the gates I became aware of so much more than I realized and I have been trying for a year I have been talking and journaling and working very hard. Now I feel like somehow I am at this fork in the road where I have to choose medication or EMDR since I am stuck and journalling doesn't seem to be doing all that it did before. I am afraid I am afraid of drugs, maybe I don't understand them enough. As for the EMDR the reason I have held off telling my husband is that the process is time consuming, I would haveto explain what I am doing, he would never understand, he doesn't understand depression orthis sadness that I have been feeling. So what I have is an appt with my general dr to talk about meds. Its a start. But can I ask a dumb question. Will drug make me like Christmas. I don't want to like christmas. I know that probably doesn't make sense to you but it was the first thing that came to mind. I think somehow I have this image that I will suddenly be walking around all happy . I am trying I am not trying to run away or shut the door I am just scared. Thank you for taking the time Dr. Baxter. QueenMary

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Medication isn't a "happy pill". Nor is it a "zombie pill". It won't stop you feeling things. It won't make you euphoric. What it will do is make it easier for you to cope with anxiety and depression, and it will limit the severity of the anxiety and depression you experience.

As for EMDR, I'm not sure where you got the idea that it is time cosumning. In fact, eithr it will help within a few sessions or it probably won't help at all.

That said, I wouldn't receommend EMDR instead of medication. I'm pleased to hear you're going to see your family doctor about nedication. Perhaps you could start with that and then discuss with your psychologist friend what other things might be of beneift.