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I have an uncommon for this forum question: Does anyone have experience with house cleaning services (agencies like Molly Maid) etc.., and if so, how did this work for you?
I think I am uncomfortable letting anyone in the house unless it already shines and asking other people to clean my mess, even for money, but I just can't manage any more. I prefer to give all my cash for cleaning now. I would rather not go skiing than clean all day. I almost have a phobia of cleaning and it makes me very depressed. So, I decided to give it a try, and I am reading reviews. There is a neighbour who uses the service, but he is a single man in a big house and I am not in the same situation with all the kids, unhelpful, demanding husband, now we got a bird (parrot), that makes a mess on the floor at times and nobody is helping. On top of it, I am starting to feel more depressed than before and can't spend all day in the house, I just can't; I like to be out, even working, when possible, but unfortunately I get tired and can't work 13 hrs every day. I wish I had more fun, but in reality all I do is work, even when I do not work. I just can't take it any more. I am not a robot obviously and get burnt out and nothing helps me. It all just disappears when I am in a bad mood. All previous talks and books and therapies seem to have vanished in the air at times.:helpme: sorry for posting too much, please ignore, if you do not like to read. On top of it, even people, who I know use cleaning services lie to my husband and kids that they don't and the moms just do all the work alone. This is crazy. We visited a family who lives in a 7 bedroom house recently, the parents come from work at 8-9 pm and they lied to us that they don't use any services, when in fact they have 3 little kids and their house was shining.

And the fact that I have to choose between a ski vacation and secretly hiring a house cleaning service is very depressing, skiing is one of the very few things that make me feel alive, I can't compare it to many other things in life, even though I had stopped for years, I have always tremendously enjoyed my returns to this sport. I am not an advanced skier, but I did take a refresher and I can handle the trails and the downhill pretty well.

---------- Post Merged at 09:05 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 07:48 PM ----------

I have to figure out the cleaning issue, because I hope my husband finally gets more settled and happy when it all shines brightly in each and every corner. When I work he is constantly whining that the house is not clean and when I don't work he is complaining that I haven't done enough, it is never clean enough for him. I don't know what keeps me in this kind of relationship, I think I just love him too much to leave, and in return he treats me like a maid!
Just to clarify, I value all work that people do, including cleaning, but I am not at work in my own house and he is not my boss.

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
It seems to me that there are some issues that need to be addressed in your marriage as well, but that's not what you're asking.

If you can afford to get someone in to help with house cleaning, I'd say by all means go for it. At best it's not the most rewarding of activities for most people, especially where there are children and pets.

If you are getting opposition to the plan from your husband, ask him if he wants to volunteer to help with the task instead.

In time, you will get used to letting go your need to tidy up first before the cleaning service gets there.
I agree with Dr. Baxter if your husband is not happy with the way you clean then it is time that he pitches in

I know it is hard best of times to do any kind of work when one is depressed or overwhelmed
If he is not willing to help out then get the maid in to help you and also go on that ski trip
You and your husband are partners and he needs to help you not give you ultimatives .
The ski trip is well deserved looking after small children and a home you need a break away
If he is not wanting to to go then go with a friend ok take time out for YOU you deserve care


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Thank you, forgetmenot. I think I will go on the ski trip during March break and get the kids in ski school as well for a few days... after all if I love it so much without even being good at it, maybe they will too one day. Husband wants as always beaches, I actually want to go skiing this time.


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Update: Really excited, as I found another mom, who wants to go skiing over the weekend! So, I do not have to wait until March! :eek:mg:
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