[How do I] Reconcile with My Girlfriend!

[mlaver]

I don't know the best way to approach this whole topic. I am in need of help on something I'm generally pretty good at. I am trying to write a letter to my ex girlfriend to try and patch things up. But as I sit here and read what I've written, I don't know if it will accomplish what I want to say and the end result of getting her back. There has to be something that can be written to target emotions. I really need someone's help in finishing this letter before tomorrow when I am going to give it to her. Please Help me!!!

Matt

 

[Retired]

Re: Please Help Me!!

Show us what you've written to allow people to comment.

There has to be something that can be written to target emotions.

Usually honesty and frankness are your best strategies.

What are the issues you want to have reconciled in this relationship?

 

[mlaver]

the fact that I feel like there is so much more to get out of this previous relationship. She says she needs to spend all of her time on school and with her kids. But this time last week everything was perfect. I want her to see that I am willing to compromise and still allow her all the time needed for school and the kids but to still be in her life. It's hard to explain.

I want to show her that she's the right one. She always has been and that for the mistakes I've made I'm sorry. But to also show her the good things that we've experienced. To assure her that I'm not going to take her time away from the important things i.e. studies and children. To write this all down in something that seriously makes her think it through and realizes the good potential there is for all of this.

 

[ladylore]

Re: Please Help Me!

Hey Matt,

Here are my thoughts on it. First off what are you wanting to convey to her? Its impossible to know what she is going to do with the letter, we can't control what others will do. Giving her the letter needs to be about you and letting you know your feelings. Unfortunately it may or may not make her want to get back together with you.

If you need to apologise, then do. Say your sorry for what you did (explain the actions of what you did). Don't explain your actions just that you are sorry and regret them. Also ask her in the letter what you can do to make it up to her. Acknowledging our mistakes is very courageous. Honesty goes a long way.

Its great that you want to express your feelings to her but I do need to stress that its her choice of what she wants to do with it - we can't make anyone else do what we want. We only have control over ourselves and our actions.

Sorry for the bad new but I do hope some of this helps.

 

[mlaver]

I thank you for the advice Lady! I do understand that the ball is in her court. I just want to possibly explain to her that when she says she has nothing left to give, that she's got a ton to give. Also, to stress to her that I don't want to interfere with her education. In respect to that, that I want to be there to help her and if she needs time to prepare or study I will be respectful of that and give her the space but still want to be there with her along the way. The other issue is time that she thinks she needs to dedicate to her children. I respect the heck out of that. I have not asked her to set her kids to second place nor will I. She seems to feel like time is taken away by doing something as simple as talking on the phone for a minute. I want to explain to her that I will take whatever time I can get after all of her duties and responsibilities are complete for the day. And lastly to basically tell her what she means to me and that I want to be there to learn. Any more advice to accomplish this mission of mine? I know she will either read the letter or dispose of it. I can't control that but I want to make the attempt. please respond!

 

[ladylore]

I just want to possibly explain to her that when she says she has nothing left to give, that she's got a ton to give. Also, to stress to her that I don't want to interfere with her education. In respect to that, that I want to be there to help her and if she needs time to prepare or study I will be respectful of that and give her the space but still want to be there with her along the way. The other issue is time that she thinks she needs to dedicate to her children. I respect the heck out of that. I have not asked her to set her kids to second place nor will I. She seems to feel like time is taken away by doing something as simple as talking on the phone for a minute. I want to explain to her that I will take whatever time I can get after all of her duties and responsibilities are complete for the day. And lastly to basically tell her what she means to me and that I want to be there to learn.

Say the this in your letter. You may also ask her how she is doing? Empathy goes a loooong way.

Let us know how it goes.