"Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means."
~ Ronald Reagan
~ Ronald Reagan
- Thread starter Daniel E.
- Start date
"The first duty of love is to listen."
~ Paul Tillich
~ Paul Tillich
“A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
~ Dave Meurer
~ Dave Meurer
“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”
~ Ernest Hemingway
~ Ernest Hemingway
“Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”
"We need to help people to discover the true meaning of love. Love is generally confused with dependence. Those of us who have grown in true love know that we can love only in proportion to our capacity for independence."
"Some days, doing "the best we can" may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn't perfect-on any front-and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else."
“Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life’s important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.”
― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember
"We need to help people to discover the true meaning of love. Love is generally confused with dependence. Those of us who have grown in true love know that we can love only in proportion to our capacity for independence."
"Some days, doing "the best we can" may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn't perfect-on any front-and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else."
“Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life’s important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.”
― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember
"When you open yourself to the continually changing, impermanent, dynamic nature of your own being and of reality, you increase your capacity to love and care about other people and your capacity to not be afraid. You're able to keep your eyes open, your heart open, and your mind open."
― Pema Chödrön
― Pema Chödrön
“Believing the words of one’s mate while ignoring the actions can lead to serious distortions of reality.”
― Robert W. Firestone, The Fantasy Bond: Structure of Psychological Defenses
― Robert W. Firestone, The Fantasy Bond: Structure of Psychological Defenses
“In general, an ideal partner is (a) open and nondefensive, (b) honest and nonduplicitous, (c) affectionate and easy-going, (d) mentally and physically healthy, (e) independent and successful in his or her chosen career or lifestyle, and (f) aware of a meaningful existence that includes humanitarian values.”
― Robert W. Firestone
― Robert W. Firestone
"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~ Swedish proverb
~ Swedish proverb
“Fun is the glue of love.”
"It's hard for most of us to go through a typical day outside the home without some humiliating incident, however trivial, without some frustrating reminder of how limited our power is, how unimportant we are. The relationships we want to spend our lives in should be a refuge from this. If they are just a source of more humiliation, they're not healthy places to stay in."
― Mira Kirshenbaum, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
"It's hard for most of us to go through a typical day outside the home without some humiliating incident, however trivial, without some frustrating reminder of how limited our power is, how unimportant we are. The relationships we want to spend our lives in should be a refuge from this. If they are just a source of more humiliation, they're not healthy places to stay in."
― Mira Kirshenbaum, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Marriage
Plenty of research shows that insecure attachment styles can be gradually modified over time either through counseling or through positive interactions with a securely attached life partner. One important way to gain insight into the dynamics of your own marriage is to understand your own attachment style as well as that of your spouse.
Plenty of research shows that insecure attachment styles can be gradually modified over time either through counseling or through positive interactions with a securely attached life partner. One important way to gain insight into the dynamics of your own marriage is to understand your own attachment style as well as that of your spouse.
Six Small Ways to Show Your Relationship Partner That You Care
Do things for your partner that only you can do...whether it’s sewing a button on a coat or fixing a glitch on an email program.
Do things for your partner that only you can do...whether it’s sewing a button on a coat or fixing a glitch on an email program.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
There is a small but excellent book I used to recommend to clients which includes a little quiz at the end that both partners complete to identify their own love language. Can be an interesting conversation starter and it's often revealing in couples where one or both partners feels ignored, not valued, taken for granted, not respected, etc.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts: Chapman, Gary: 9780802412706: Amazon.com: Books
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts: Chapman, Gary: 9780802412706: Amazon.com: Books
“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.”
“Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love.”
“We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.”
“I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.”
“The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history.”
― Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages
“Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love.”
“We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.”
“I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.”
“The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history.”
― Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
See also Discover Your Love Language - The 5 Love Languages® and Couples Quiz - The 5 Love Languages® online and free. 
I just started to take the quiz, but it reminded me of getting an eye exam -- two options that seem equally good
I mentioned the book in passing to my mother, and she mentioned she bought it decades ago when she had issues with my dad
Recently, I bought the nicest gift ever for my husband. I am saving it for Valentine's Day. Usually, we just go out to dinner for Valentine's, but with the COVID-19 we would be eating in a minivan ( by the river ) So, anyway, this gift be a test to see how important gifts are to him...relative to me helping with the dishes
Recently, I bought the nicest gift ever for my husband. I am saving it for Valentine's Day. Usually, we just go out to dinner for Valentine's, but with the COVID-19 we would be eating in a minivan ( by the river
) So, anyway, this gift be a test to see how important gifts are to him...relative to me helping with the dishes
“The feeling of love comes and goes on a whim; you can't control it. But the action of love is something you can do, regardless of how you are feeling.”
― Russ Harris, ACT with Love
― Russ Harris, ACT with Love
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