Self-destructive?

[g-scared]

I don't know whether to classify what I'm feeling as depression or anxiety. It's a mixture of both, I guess you could say I have a very anxious way of dealing with depression. In any case.. my roommate just confessed to me that she thinks I'm self-destructive. But then when I asked her why, she kind of backed down, and now I'm left alone with this comment... wondering.

I'm a really hard worker, but there are times, especially when I get upset about something, that I stop eating and sleeping and taking care of myself. I like to think of this as being a hopeless romantic. The reason I've been upset for recently is over a guy. I wish I could just shake him off. I wish I didn't think about him all the time and wonder what was going on in his mind, what went wrong, if he hates me, does he feel guilty about something.. ? I know that I think about it entirely too often. It usually helps to go out and distract myself, but it's only been a week after all.

But sometimes I guess I can be negative, sometimes I pay attention to too many details, and analyze way too much. What is wrong with my mind? I know it's really active, and I can't control it. It's so hard though because my job demands that I work a lot. I'm an architect. But I'm also a 26 year old girl that thinks too much and thinks she can read peoples minds at times.

I guess I also have to mention that my college sweet heart long ago developed paranoid schizophrenia. We were together for 3.5 years, and I tried to take care of him when he went crazy. I think that some of his nervous habits, insomnia, and paranoia have rubbed off on me. I wonder how to deal with this without making people think I'm a freak?

 

[Daniel E.]

Of course, feelings and thoughts concerning romantic love tend to be intense and obsessive even when things are going well. When things aren't going so well, love sickness can bring:

depression – tearfulness, insomnia, loss of concentration

OCD – preoccupation, checking (e.g. text messages/emails, etc.), and hoarding valueless but superstitiously resonant items

psychologically created physical symptoms, such as upset stomach, change in appetite, insomnia, dizziness, and confusion.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_sickness

Also:

Love Sick: Love as a Mental Illness

I...wonder what was going on in his mind

Maybe less than you think. I know it's a stereotype but it's generally true: men tend to be simpler creatures, less encumbered by such ruminations and analysis. This is one point of the book
He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys.

 

[g-scared]

Daniel,

Man, that title: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys., hit me like a brick. I don't like to make generalizations about the sexes, but perhaps you are right as well that there is not much thought going on in his head. I am sure it could not possibly compare the to quantity of time I have wasted thinking about him.

I don't know if thinking so much is constructive or destructive, but at least I am not going around in circles. I feel like I've almost resolved this one. Thanks!