Seriously needing help please!

[sparkely]

Ok so i have a huge problem. it might sound silly to some but I'm terrified.

so i have lived in Calgary Alberta basically my whole life. Right now i feel as tho Calgary is my safe zone i have been through hell and back with this city.

i know a lot of the doctors i have dealt with my terrible anxiety here and my dad has offered my husband an amazing job that would change our lives completely. we have to move to Vancouver, not that far away but that is one of my biggest fears is leaving my safe zone.

I do suffer from GAD and for the most part i have conquered a lot of my fears and i have dealt with them on my own, i also know a lot of coping strategies which is good. but i cant get the what if's out of my head. what if i go into a big anxiety attack and cant get out of it? what if i don't sleep ever again? what if i go into a depression? hahahaha list goes on. I know this is best for myself and my husband as well as for my 3 year old boy. but to move there is killing me in thoughts.

has anyone ever had a similar experience? or anything like that?

i need something to ease my mind. i don't know where I'm going to find strength to do this big move when i have shaking anxiety attacks when i go to Edmonton (3 hours) away for to long. so what do i do?

 

[Daniel E.]

i dont know where im going to find strenth to do this big move when i have shakeing anxiety attacks when i go to edmonton(3 hours) away for to long.

The anxiety you experience when going to Edmonton is partly because of a lack of habituation. If you stayed in Edmonton longer or went more frequently, there would be more habituation and therefore less anxiety.

 

[sparkely]

hmmm good point, maybe i can try that. that sounds totally right tho. hmm thanks for the reply. i think im going to go to many diffrent places before i do a big move.

 

[Andy]

Hi Sparkely
I can understand the fear of moving from Calgary to Vancouver. I'm in Alberta too and although it seems close it is still far enough. I also have GAD. The one good thing you have going, is that you will have your husband, I mean it's not something you are doing alone. Maybe you could express your concerns to him and just let him know you may need extra support? Can your doctor here look into finding you someone in Vancouver? I had a friend that moved from Alberta to Vancouver island and he was able to set up a doctor for her so that when she got there if she needed she could go to the doctor right away instead of looking for one first etc. If that's possible, if you have any concerns with sleep or depression, you would have somewhere to go to.
I think moving far away is anxiety producing for most people so don't beat yourself up over being afraid. I moved from small town Alberta to cowtown and I am still very anxious but I am getting there.
I really think that if you have some things set up for support, similar to what your use to having here then it might make the transition a little easier. The only thing other than that, that I can think of is just watching your thoughts. Don't let your thoughts get away with all the what if's etc. I know that's easier said then done but no harm in trying again and again. Good Luck to you, it's beautiful out there.

 

[sparkely]

absoluty. thank you for your reply too. luckly my husband is my rock, he is the most wonderful man i have ever met, he has gone through it all with me phew. so your right thank goodness i have him to fall on. and thats what i was thinking is getting some councelling there before i move and a doctor i think it would make my life alot easier. i never really thought about that either that EVERYONE gets anxiety moving somewhere there not farmilar with(spelling yikes) so i shouldnt beat myself up. you have gad too thats cool to knwo for sure cuz as mine doesnt stop me from living its still ncie to know that someone else well many people have it also. how long ago did you move? and yes i guess everything does take time right. anyways thanks very much. hahah ya its a bit tricky watching your thoughts but its defenitly do able for sure, distraction.

 

[Andy]

Yes, see that is great that you have your rock. I bet if you asked your Dr. here s/he would try to help out as best as s/he could. Just try to get it in the same general area that your around.
Well, i was actually born here and moved to a small town as a baby and been here this time for awhile, I'm just a little slow at getting comfortable with things. I'm slow at a lot of things. lol
Absolutely do not beat yourself up about being afraid of this move. It's a big move but I think if you have yourself prepared and know that it's normal to be anxious about it (meaning it's not just your disorder, it's normal), you'll be great. Your friends and family are a phone call away, you can totally do this. You sound like a positive person to so just stay positive and maybe you won't ever want to come back! Kidding, AB@heart always.

 

[sparkely]

hahah your funny, alberta rocks. hahah i was acaully from vancouver growing up as a kid haha but moved to calgary at 11 and im 22 now so i love it. but vancouver is beautiful to just alot of crime scares me lol. i totally hear ya im very slow at gettign used to alot of things to but whatver better to be slow then to ruchy right. lol maybe your right maybe iw ont want to come back hahahaha bahhhhhhhh

 

[Andy]

maybe your right maybe iw ont want to come back hahahaha bahhhhhhhh

Oh come on now! That's crazy talk! lol Well, if you grew up In Vancouver maybe it's in your blood too, so you have no worries. lol

 

[Jazzey]

Having lived in Vancouver, it's a beautiful city. Yes, there is crime. But, nowadays there is crime in any city center. What I love about Vancouver is its green space, the sea wall, Stanley park...the Ocean...The list goes on, frankly. I agree with what Daniel's already said to you. Once you're there and you start forming your life there, that you get habituated, I think it could also be a 'safe' zone for you. There is no doubt that it takes time to get used to a new city. But, Vancouver is easy to get used to.

 

[Hermes]

Hello Sparkely:

Moving house is a strenuous business at the best of times, there is so much to think of, to organise, and honestly it can be quite exhausting. However, there is the exhilaration factor, moving to a beautiful new place, with good prospects. I agree with all the other advice you have had on here. Maybe visiting other places first, for a night or two, maybe.
It is surprising how we quickly get used to the new place. I can understand that your anxiety can make this upcoming move seem a bit unsurmountable. So glad you have a supportive husband, and....you are so young!

I've moved a good few times, particularly over the past ten years or so, and moving is always a chore, no matter what, and tiring.

Good luck with everything
Hermes

 

[Atlantean]

Sparkely I really realate to what you are going through. I am on disability and take medications for my anxiety and stress issues, and one of the things I am having to process this year is having to move and leave my comfort (or 'saftey') zone and how to re-establish myself and my support network if we do in fact leave this local area. I used to really be crippled by my anxiety but like you I have overcome a lot and worked hard to get to a better place, and I know that the thought of leaving your nest is a hard thing to imagine right now, but I think you will be fine just start researching mental health resources and network connections now and have everything in place so you can fall right in and everything will be fine.