Should I just wait?

[Halo]

BG,

I don't mean to laugh but reading your dialogue of the first session back is exactly the same as what I would always have after a break. Good, good, idle chit chat, blah blah..okay see you next week and I'm gone. It is like a getting to know you session again. I still have those even today when I find myself after a break.

As for you giving her an outlet to talk if she needs it, that is what she has her own support system for. You are in therapy to talk about you and the sessions should be about you. Although I know you want to give her the same courtesy that she gives you, you have to remember that it is your time and not hers.

 

[Banned]

Halo,

I'm glad I'm not the only one that has sessions like that!! And yes I know - it's my time, not hers. I always have to remind myself of that. I'm just too courteous haha.

 

[Into The Light]

maybe you could mentally prepare yourself a day or two ahead of your next appointment so that you don't do the idle chit chat? i find that i need to do this if i want to make sure i keep going with the deeper stuff.

 

[Lana]

Hi BG;

It seems like you've already found a way to cope with it all.

I'm curious, do you then just have a casual theraputic relationship with your therapist? I'm asking because in the beginning I always thought that's what I'd need. However, it became evident that I needed something on regular basis. My doctor suggested every two weeks which kinda freaked me out.

However, as the time progressed, we both agree that my needs are more about having someone to talk to (I don't have any family and its' difficult for me to open up to friends) to unwind and diffuse. When things get rough, I have a tendency to keep it all bottled up...eventually, it seeps out and spills over. When I started school, the pressure was on, so was the tension. I hate failing so that didn't help my talking.

Anyways, regular chats are part of what makes therapy work for me. Sometimes I go in there not having a clue what I'll be talking about. And sometimes, I can't figure out where to start. But, the idea of just having a regular person in my life keeps me grounded. Wow...this is a long explanation

So anyways, how do casul therapy sessions work for others?? Knowing me, I don't think I could do what you described earlier. I'd equate it with bumping into an old buddy on the street and chatting over a coffee....a lot cheaper then therapist.

 

[Banned]

Hey Lana,

I'm not sure what you mean by a casual relationship - I think ours is pretty normal, although I have nothing to compare it to. We usually meet once/week unless there is something going on - one of us is away or gets sick. I think our sessions are "normal" too - sometimes insanely intense and hurt like hell and I bawl my eyes out, other times they are light and more relaxed. Like you, some days I have an agenda and other days I show up and say "nothing is going on...things are chill" and we either pick a direction to go or just have a very light session.

Like you, it's important for me to have a regular person in my life. That's why this is so hard right now - she's not in my life and I have no idea when I'll see her again because we don't have standing app'ts - we book week to week depending on both of our schedules. I keep checking my phone for a text message but I probably shouldn't expect much for a couple weeks yet. Then when we do see each other, I'll have gotten out of "therapy mode" and probably not be particularly eager to jump right into heavy stuff, so it'll take a couple sessions to get some momentum again, hence the relaxed dialogue I posted earlier.

 

[Lana]

Ohhh...ok, that makes more sense. I got the (wrong) impression that you met her on as needed basis (here and there, 2-3-4 weeks apart) Sorry, my bad. My doctor used to have extended absences where she'll be in Australia or some other exotic place, working. Those would be 3 to 6 months! First time she went away (6 months), she made arrangements for another doctor in case I needed it and I was totally fine. Second time she went away (3 months), I had a major breakdown 2 months into it. She had to arrange for another doctor to see me via email. Now she doesn't take chances even if she's gone for 2 or 3 weeks. Weird how that plays out, huh?

 

[Banned]

Hey Lana,

I can relate. My last therapist would take four months off in the summer. He was accessible by email only as he would go to the other end of the country. It was horrible waiting for him to get back all the time. My current therapist doesn't take time off like that, which is good. I just found it way too hard.

 

[Misha]

I think I am very lucky with my therapist.... she works like 14 hour days, at least 5 days a week, plus being on call some weekends. I think she has taken one week off (other than Christmas) since I've started seeing her, which is like 3 years. To think she has 4 kids under 5years. :juggle:

 

[Into The Light]

that doesn't quite make sense, if she has kids that young she must have taken time off to have those kids unless the youngest is three and she's got twins or something.

 

[Banned]

I've known people that pop the kid out Friday night and are back at work on Monday (well, not quite that quick, but within a couple weeks)....

 

[Banned]

So here's the big update I know you've all been on the edge of your seats waiting for.

She just called me. I still don't know when we're meeting. Her dad is still in hospital and not doing well but is alive. The days/times she offered to meet this week do not work for me, and next week is hectic with her starting her new job, so we're back in limbo but at least I've heard from her and she hasn't forgotten me!

 

[ladylore]

That's a good sign BG.

 

[Into The Light]

glad to hear you've had contact :goodjob:

 

[Halo]

BG,

I am so glad that you have made contact with her and it has confirmed to you that she has not forgotten about you. Although you don't have an appointment scheduled, I am sure that it was nice just to hear from her. I hope that you get to see her soon.

Again I am happy for you and hope that this contact can now relieve some of the anxiety.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[Banned]

Well, a week has almost passed and still no word, so I just sent her a text message saying I was wondering if I'll ever hear from her again.

Now I'm just aggravated. This non-communication is making me crazy.

 

[Cat Dancer]

That would make me crazy too.

Sorry about all of this.

 

[Banned]

Thanks Janet. It's just so frustrating. Know what I mean? I mean...really...just pick up the phone or email and at least get back to me so I don't have a :hissyfit:

 

[Halo]

I am sorry that you are feeling upset with this non-communication, BG :hug:

Isn't this week the week that she starts her new job? If I recall, you aren't going to be able to see her this week because of that right? Maybe she is waiting to get settled in with this job before she contacts you so that she can know what times to offer for you for your next appointment.

Either way, I hope that she texts or emails you back so that you can know what is going on and have some communication as I know it must be tough.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[Banned]

She starts her new job on Monday but she was supposed to call me last week and set something up for a morning based on what time she starts her new job.

Problem is, I have to keep living my life, so when (if) she finally does call, it'll be at least a week before I can create an opening in my schedule.

I really shouldn't be surprised, or upset. She's a fabulous therapist, but not the most reliable.

 

[Halo]

Well maybe now that you have sent her a text it will jog her memory of the committment that she has made to get back to you about setting up an appointment. Not making excuses for her here but she probably has a lot on her mind with her dad in the hospital as well as starting a new job both at the same time. I am sure when she gets your text you will hear from her.

I will keep my fingers crossed :crossfingers:

Do keep us updated and remember that we are here for support until you get to see her :hug: :hug: