More threads by Banned

Banned

Banned
Member
Well supposedly I have an app't Monday at 2pm. Problem is, it's been so long since I've been I'm not sure I want or need to go back. <sigh>....what to do....
 

Halo

Member
I am glad that you have made contact with her and that you have an appointment scheduled. I know that it can be hard after a break to get motivated to go back but really I wouldn't think that you would want to leave things with her the way they are now. Even if you decide after seeing her on Monday that you want to decrease the frequency of the appointments or to terminate altogether, I really think that it would be helpful to have at least one more session with her.

You also may find that you have missed therapy more than you originally thought once you are back in her office.

Anyway....my opinion is to at least keep the appointment and not to make any decisions before that.

Take care
:hug: :hug:
 

Lana

Member
Maybe you can use this session to address the irregularity of the sessions and her not getting back to you on time. If you want to keep seeing her, then I think it's one of the things you both should address to avoid this type of a problem in the future.

Maybe I'm biased, but if my doctor can arrange for another doctor to see me and have someone to contact me while abroad, any other doctor/therapist can do the same. I know that she had family issues, but she's not dealing with someone with a small boo-boo...her unavailability can cause more problems than her therapy can solve. It's a bit irresponsible, careless, and not in the clients best interest. Or maybe, she should know when to send clients to other therapists..."I don't know when I'll be available again so please make arrangements to contact your other therapist"...even that would be kinder then nothing.
 

Banned

Banned
Member
Thanks Lana and Halo.

Those were my thoughts too. All of them. The hardest part was being left hung out to dry, with no further contact or idea of when I would see her again. I had to call my previous therapist, whom I'm sure was thinking "Why don't you call M"...well, I would if I could, or if she'd call me back. I will talk to her about it, but she's so sweet and nice I'll feel bad if I say how I really feel. I know - how weird. I will let her know it was very hard on me and it would have been easier for her just to say "I'll be out for a minimum of one month. Here is someone you can call if you need to" or something like that...it was just frustrating. And, there's always more to the story than I know, so I'm keeping that in mind too.
 

ladylore

Account Closed
It's ok to feel hurt or even angry over this BG. There needs to be some professionalism here. It would be a good thing to talk about boundaries at the next meeting with her.

Sometimes "nice" can also be a way to manipulate people too. I am not saying she is doing this on purpose. But if someone is always sweet and nice and you don't want to hurt them - that in itself is a problem. Its ok to make her aware of her behaviour so it can be corrected. What she is doing is not ok.
 

Halo

Member
BG,

If you think that it may be hard to say what you really want because she is so nice and sweet, have you considered writing down what you want to say and how you feel and giving it to her just as you enter your session? I know that I have done this in the past when afraid to bring up a specific topic. Anyway...just a thought.
 

Lana

Member
To add to what LL and Halo said, the issue here is not her as a person, but her behavior as a therapist. She showed lack of concern and responsibility leaving you high and dry. Sometimes nice people do bad things. And sometimes, people don't realize the impact their actions have on our lives. That's when it becomes important to speak up and out. I'm sure she is a great person. But, so are you, and you deserve to be treated as such. :)
 

Banned

Banned
Member
Well Hallelujah I finally saw her today. I sent her a not-very nice email the other night telling her I felt totally abandonned and left high and dry. She did apologize again and said she realized she dropped the ball with me. She had alot going on...she was sick, her dad was sick, family in town, she said she couldn't keep up with phone calls but it was still no excuse.

I'm a very forgiving person so I just thanked her for apologizing and apologized for sending a scathing email...told her I was pretty emotional when I sent it and she said she's ok with that...that she trusted we could talk about it today.

Hopefully we're back on schedule...hopefully.
 

Halo

Member
BG,

I am glad that you went to your appointment and that you had the courage to felt like you were left high and dry. I know that it took a lot of strength to say that to her but you did a good thing. It was nice of her to apologize and hopefully if something like this were to ever happen again she will remember this situation in the future.

Glad to hear you are back on schedule :)
 

Lana

Member
I'm glad things are finally looking up for you, BG. One thing: sometimes it's ok not to be nice. I think in your case, you were completely justified in doing what you did and have nothing to apologize for. It's really ok to look out for yourself and put yourself first. Well done.
 
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