sorry for being the pesty little girl that will just not let it go always has something wrong! i always hated that kind of person and promised myself i would never be that way i would be the girl that was strong that would not complain that would not seem week and here i am complaining on how my life is nothing and how i wish i was not here on this planet living i am sorry for the worry that i may have cause many of you that was not my intention and ultimately i don't know what my intention ever was yes i search for comprehension but at the same time i accuse everyone of not understanding me enough or at all i try to make clear my desire to end this pathetic excuse for a life but then i try to cover it up by telling everyone hat i am not really suicidal i just think of it !!1 but well the truth is it is not just thinking of it sometimes or idealizing it its so much more but well i won't bore you with that .. i just want to say sorry i guess for just being such a slob not being able to grow up not being able to take care of myself i am a 20 year old trapped in the will to stay an infant and yet in the mentality of a 50 year old having lived too much already for my age! i am just tiered tiered of being a burden for everyone! sorry again !