David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Teenager Daughter Owner's Manual
Instructions for all those with teenage daughters or daughters who think they are teenagers or who will eventually be teenagers.
Teenager Owner's Manual Congratulations! You are now the proud new owner of a teenage daughter.
Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the maintenance of your new daughter, and answers important questions about your warranty (which does NOT include the right to return the product to the factory for a full refund.)
IF YOU FEEL, YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR:
To determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenager girl, please examine your new daughter carefully. Does she:
If any of these are true, you have received the correct item.
Nice try, though.
Instructions for all those with teenage daughters or daughters who think they are teenagers or who will eventually be teenagers.
Teenager Owner's Manual Congratulations! You are now the proud new owner of a teenage daughter.
Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the maintenance of your new daughter, and answers important questions about your warranty (which does NOT include the right to return the product to the factory for a full refund.)
IF YOU FEEL, YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR:
To determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenager girl, please examine your new daughter carefully. Does she:
- look very similar to your original daughter, only with more makeup and less clothing?
- refuse to acknowledge your existence on the planet Earth (except when requesting money)?
- sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry?
If any of these are true, you have received the correct item.
Nice try, though.
