The Highly Sensitive Person

[Into The Light]

a question that comes to mind is, are highly sensitive people more likely to become depressed than your average non-sensitive person? it seems kind of logical, but is there any research to back that up?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm not sure about the research but based on personal observations I would say that HSPs are more vulnerable both to depression and to anxiety disorders.

 

[stargazer]

I think that's me, too. Not psychic, though. But unusually sensitive, and highly affected by nuances in the environment. Did you say the book was available on Amazon?

 

[Laurie]

Hi Everyone,
I have to say that being a bit of an HSP myself, I struggle a lot with being overstimulated by things. They come up so unexpectedly that I tend to overprotect myself and miss out on a lot of fun just because I never know when I will suddenly find myself depressed, overly self-conscious, sensitive, and like I need to run away from everyone immediately just to be ok. I have learned how to catch it a bit sooner over the years, but even tonight, I was realizing that something has been too much for me and I don't know what it was. I have been pushing myself out into the world very aggressively lately just to search out and find my boundaries - but the risk, as I'm always reminded, is that I will likely cross the boundary before I realize I have reached it or am approaching it.

I still need to read the book. Have pretty much exhausted the free info online. Has anyone read it yet? If so, would you be comfortable sharing your thoughts on it?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I've read the original a few years back. I think you'll find it helpful.

There are a series of them now:

Aaron, Elaine. The Highly Sensitive Person. Broadway, 1997.

Aaron, Elaine. The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook. Broadway, 1999.

Aaron, Elaine. The Highly Sensitive Person in Love : Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You. Broadway, 2001.

Aaron, Elaine. The Highly Sensitive Child : Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them. Broadway, 2002.

Zeff, Ted, and Aaron, Elaine. The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World (Step-By-Step Guides). Broadway, 1997.

 

[healthbound]

I just ordered it from Amazon. I'll let you guys know when I get/read it

 

[Halo]

If one was going to purchase any of the above, which one would be the best to start with...the book, the workbook ?

Healthbound if you don't mind me asking, which book did you order?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Start with the original book. The workbook is a companion publication.

 

[sister-ray]

It appears some of the books arent available here, my locall shop who are very good indeed said the workbook isnt avaible here at all,, some of the others are unavailable at the moment, they ordered the original one but its out of stock at the moment, I know i could order from amazon but I like to buy from a shop, things go wrong with ordering on line!!

 

[Laurie]

It looks like they are all available on www.half.com if you're not opposed to a used copy.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thanks for posting that, Laurie. I'd forgotten about half.com.

 

[Laurie]

no problem I think I'm finally ready to tackle this head on, so I want them all and need them cheap! If you get them, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

 

[healthbound]

Hi Nancy,

I bought the book. I thought about getting the workbook too, but then decided I should read the book first to see if I'd be willing to do the work.

I'm looking forward to reading the book.

Up until recently, I perceived "being sensative" to be one of the worst things possible. But, I'm beginning to recognize many benefits of being a sensative person.

 

[Into The Light]

hi healthbound, could you spell out some of the positive aspects? so far i can't see anything good about it, i sometimes wish i had thicker skin.

 

[ThatLady]

There are definitely positive aspects to being a sensitive person. Without sensitivity, it's doubtful you'll have much empathy and empathy is a Good Thing. While being sensitive allows you to be more aware of the hurtful things in life, it also allows you to be more aware of the beautiful, inspiring things in life. The trick is to learn how to control which one you let in and which one you learn to put aside as a Not Good Thing.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Let me echo and add to what TL has said.

Think of the HSP as the opposite end of the continuum from the psychopath, who really has no capacity for genuine emotional connection to the world ot to people in it.

Being an HSP, or someone who is vulnerable to anxiety, worry, depression, etc., you are sensitive to small nuances in the behavior and mood of people around you. This gives you a great capacity for connecting to other people on an emotional level, beyond the level at which the average person can connect.

Precisely because of this, people will be drawn to you as someone they value in friendships and relationships.

It is also true that being an HSP means you need to learn how to protect yourself from being overwhelmed by those emotional connections and from being exploited or "used" by other people, even unintentionally. But that doesn't alter the rewards that are available to you once you do learn to "turn down the volume" of other people a notch to make it more comfortable or bearable for you.

It has been said that you need to experience despair to truly experience joy. I see the HSP as something like that - you will suffer more than others at times but you will also be capable of experiencing greater joy and greater intensity in your relationships not only with other people but with yourself and with the universe than many other people.

 

[Laurie]

What do you think of an HSP being a counselor? I have always backed away from this field because it was too easy to get 'caught up' in other people's issues and not be able to let go for the next person. This was before I had heard of HSP's and what that is all about. So now, I'm learning that it can be a skill that can be used but that I'm always at risk to be more vulnerable than someone else. Many have told me I should study psychology and become a counselor, and through my job, I connected with one of our psychology professors and met with him to discuss this and found that I am very interested in pursuing it, but am I crazy to think about this?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Any therapist needs to learn to balance being empathically connected with your client and creating sufficient emotional distance to be of help. I would guess that this would be perhaps more difficult for an HSP to learn to do but also more essential for an HSP.

I certainly think it's possible, though. You need to go into it being aware that you need to be vigilant to avoid becoming consumed by your client's expressed emotion, but if you can do that there's no reason at all that you could not be an effective counselor or therapist.

 

[Into The Light]

ok. i've tried to write down my thoughts about this hsp stuff about 5 times now and i don't know where to begin or how to explain them. it's brought about a flood of ideas but i can't seem to find the right words. thanks for the explanation. it's got me thinking and i think i may be able to appreciate myself better. once i get my thoughts in order

besides that, how does a therapist learn to keep that emotional distance? are there techniques you can be taught or do you need to figure out what works for you? wouldn't the best therapists be those who can empathize?

i find it hard to picture what it would be like being an 'average' person who does not feel the extremes.

sorry for the rambling post.. i don't have my thoughts together on this topic just yet.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

wouldn't the best therapists be those who can empathize?

Yes. But as I said in another thread, if you can't get some distance from the client, you can't help - you just get drawn into the pain and then instead of being a guide on the journey leading the client out of the pain you just become a fellow traveller.

It's a question of balance.