David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Thoughts are Not Facts: A Story Everyone Should Know
by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
Jan 22nd 2010
Stories, poems and quotes can sometimes convey a deep message that can help us make a shift in our lives. When we're feeling depressed, manic or just anxious we often jump to conclusions, interpreting events depending on the mood state we are in. It's important to understand here that thoughts are not facts. The following is a story similar to one in my upcoming book A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook that is meant to help us see that sometimes our interpretation or judgment of an event in our life as good or bad may not always be so black and white. Here it is:
There is a story of a very wise old man in a village. Everyone in the village looked up to him and sought his advice. One summer day, a villager came to him in a state of panic, "Wise sage, I don't know what to do, my ox has died and now I am unable to plow my fields, this is the worst thing that could have ever happened." The sage looked him in the eye and replied, "maybe so, maybe not." In a state of disbelief the man returned to his family and proceeded to tell them how the sage was no sage after all and he has lost his mind because surely this was the worst thing that could've ever happened.
The next morning the man went on a walk on in the distance saw a strong young horse grazing in the field. Immediately he had the idea to catch the horse and that his troubles would be over. He brought the horse back and realized how blessed he was, plowing was even easier than before. The image of the sage came up in his mind and the man ran over to him to apologize. Upon seeing the sage the man said "Please accept my apologies, you were absolutely right, if I had not lost my ox, I wouldn't have gone on that walk and would never have captured the horse. You have to agree that catching this horse was the best thing that ever happened". The old sage looked into his eyes and said, "maybe so, maybe not".
Are you kidding me, thought the man. This guy is a nut. I don't think I'll be coming by here again. The man returned home to the village. A few days later his son was riding the horse and was bucked off, breaking his leg and now unable to help out with the farm. This is the worst thing that could ever have happened, thought the farmer, how will we eat? Again, the farmer went to the sage and told him what had happened. "You must see the future, how did you know this would happen? I don't know how we'll get all the work done now. This time you have to admit, this is the worst thing that could ever have happened." Once again, the sage calmly and with love, looked into the farmer's eyes and replied, "maybe so, maybe not". The farmer was furious by this response and stormed back to the village.
The very next day troops arrived looking for all young men who were healthy and able to fight in the new war. His son was the only young man not taken, and having chance of surviving in an impossible war where almost all the men would surely die.
The moral of this story is simply, we can't always be sure if an event that occurs is good or bad. What seems like a negative event, may lay the path for something positive. Maybe getting a ticket, allows a person to slow down so they don't get in an accident 15 minutes later. Mindfulness gives us the ability to notice when we are automatically interpreting an event negatively and gives us the space to consider alternatives. In time, we can gain a sense that things will turn out Ok.
To the readers: How does this show up in your life? Please share your thoughts, stories, and questions below. Your interact here provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.
Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist and conducts a private practice in West Los Angeles. He is co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger, February 2010). Check out Dr. Goldstein's acclaimed CD's on Mindful Solutions for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, Mindful Solutions for Addiction and Relapse Prevention, and Mindful Solutions for Success and Stress Reduction at Work. If you're wanting an interactive program to find relief from anxiety and stress, check out Dr. Goldstein's progressive online behavioral change program in Aliveworld. If you're wanting to integrate more mindfulness into your daily life, sign up for his Mindful Living Twitter Feed.
by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
Jan 22nd 2010
Stories, poems and quotes can sometimes convey a deep message that can help us make a shift in our lives. When we're feeling depressed, manic or just anxious we often jump to conclusions, interpreting events depending on the mood state we are in. It's important to understand here that thoughts are not facts. The following is a story similar to one in my upcoming book A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook that is meant to help us see that sometimes our interpretation or judgment of an event in our life as good or bad may not always be so black and white. Here it is:
There is a story of a very wise old man in a village. Everyone in the village looked up to him and sought his advice. One summer day, a villager came to him in a state of panic, "Wise sage, I don't know what to do, my ox has died and now I am unable to plow my fields, this is the worst thing that could have ever happened." The sage looked him in the eye and replied, "maybe so, maybe not." In a state of disbelief the man returned to his family and proceeded to tell them how the sage was no sage after all and he has lost his mind because surely this was the worst thing that could've ever happened.
The next morning the man went on a walk on in the distance saw a strong young horse grazing in the field. Immediately he had the idea to catch the horse and that his troubles would be over. He brought the horse back and realized how blessed he was, plowing was even easier than before. The image of the sage came up in his mind and the man ran over to him to apologize. Upon seeing the sage the man said "Please accept my apologies, you were absolutely right, if I had not lost my ox, I wouldn't have gone on that walk and would never have captured the horse. You have to agree that catching this horse was the best thing that ever happened". The old sage looked into his eyes and said, "maybe so, maybe not".
Are you kidding me, thought the man. This guy is a nut. I don't think I'll be coming by here again. The man returned home to the village. A few days later his son was riding the horse and was bucked off, breaking his leg and now unable to help out with the farm. This is the worst thing that could ever have happened, thought the farmer, how will we eat? Again, the farmer went to the sage and told him what had happened. "You must see the future, how did you know this would happen? I don't know how we'll get all the work done now. This time you have to admit, this is the worst thing that could ever have happened." Once again, the sage calmly and with love, looked into the farmer's eyes and replied, "maybe so, maybe not". The farmer was furious by this response and stormed back to the village.
The very next day troops arrived looking for all young men who were healthy and able to fight in the new war. His son was the only young man not taken, and having chance of surviving in an impossible war where almost all the men would surely die.
The moral of this story is simply, we can't always be sure if an event that occurs is good or bad. What seems like a negative event, may lay the path for something positive. Maybe getting a ticket, allows a person to slow down so they don't get in an accident 15 minutes later. Mindfulness gives us the ability to notice when we are automatically interpreting an event negatively and gives us the space to consider alternatives. In time, we can gain a sense that things will turn out Ok.
To the readers: How does this show up in your life? Please share your thoughts, stories, and questions below. Your interact here provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.
Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist and conducts a private practice in West Los Angeles. He is co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger, February 2010). Check out Dr. Goldstein's acclaimed CD's on Mindful Solutions for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, Mindful Solutions for Addiction and Relapse Prevention, and Mindful Solutions for Success and Stress Reduction at Work. If you're wanting an interactive program to find relief from anxiety and stress, check out Dr. Goldstein's progressive online behavioral change program in Aliveworld. If you're wanting to integrate more mindfulness into your daily life, sign up for his Mindful Living Twitter Feed.
