Unsure where to put this? PTSD or here

[Cin]

I have ptsd from past sexual abuse, ive had one trigger episode that last a few months, about 4yrs ago when i came out about it. And now ive been triggered again, i can feel this kind of bubbling inside me like a volcano, stuff is coming up,Nightmares, even though on sleeping pills, i have a woman's voice in my head which came out of that episode and shes been here ever since; being critical, show me disurbing images, demanding me to join her or she will never leave me be.I know very well that these are not internal thoughts, they are intrusive. I also have that thing where you can hearing murmuring voices, almost like you are in a room full of people but cannot hear what is being said, including laughing or a loud tv static king of noise.This is destroying me right now, im trying to work even though ive been orderd to go off sick (do not get ANY sick pay till june).

Thw worst thing out of this is the body memories and my fear with these flashbacks and sensory perception. I dont know how to cope with this second time round because last time i had to move home and and therapy it all stopped after a while. I thought it was gone forever,so now im shocked to find this is back and coping with this feels so umbearable, and when the voices get louder i cant concentrate on whats being said or even where i am at times. Im scared that this is gona end up full blown, recently the time between these symptoms have been getting shorter and im scared im going to snap and not come out of this.

I also wanted to mention that when i was in my early teens i would have dreams of these large human formed black blobs comming after me whilst im running,then i would wake up. But now i can see them at the corner of my eye, i can't see one fully but i can feel there is one of those/or many of those things watching me. Does anyone know what this means? is my anxiety surfacing to reality?

Thank you
Cin

 

[ladylore]

Re: Unsure where to put this?pstd or here.

Hi Cin,

I am not a professional so I can't answer some of these questions for you.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD too. Are you under a fair amount of stress lately? In my case stress can bring on old symptoms.

The second question I have is are you still in contact with your old therapist? If you still have their phone number I would definitely give them a call. A visit to your doctor would probably be a good idea too - a visit to your doctor can help find out if anything physically is going on right now - he/she can also help you find the right assistance.

Take care.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

To echo what ladylore has said, Cin, it really wouldn't be fair to you to try to provide a diagnosis or an explanation for the symptoms you describe online. They could be any one of several things.

The best advice I can give you is to go to your doctor or therapist and describe what you've described here. Whatever the cause or meaning of the symptoms, there are medications you can take that would provide relatively quick relief from the symptoms and following this up with therapy to look at the origins and symptom management would help you cope with any future occurrences.

 

[Cin]

i have already been to both my therapist and doctor, iam at the moment waiting for interviews with a theraputic housing service and for dbt. Iam on an anti psychotic and diazeam for this moment including my normal citalopram. I know the help is coming, but i can't cope everyday like this,i will go to my doctor again on monday and explain the worsening of the symptoms.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Good luck, Cin. :goodjob:

 

[ladylore]

Good luck - let us know how it goes if you would like to.

 

[braveheart]

What kind of coping mechanisms do you have in place for when you get flashbacks?

 

[Cin]

Thank you for the luck, i don't waant to scare my doctor, but at the end of the day its the psychairatrist is the one who can do anything.
Braveheart- i just try and tell myself where iam and that im real.getting consumed in the world of flashbacks seem harder to fight off. but im still managing to walk so i guess thats a very good thing..