• Quote of the Day
    "Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can do."
    John Wooden, posted by David Baxter

parabola

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Very Strange Obsession:

Hello, you guys. I once wrote this long, rambling paragraph in January but I was too hesitant to submit it due to the ?weirdness? factor. (Ill try not to add unnecessary details.)

I have an unhealthy obsession with fingers, especially long bony fingers. I mostly like their wizardly physical appearance though also in my mind, long fingers constitute power. (I also find it ironic symbolism that I kind of have unhappiness from being so withdrawn yet palmistry says long fingered people are jolly extroverts). In the beginning stages, when I?d go to the mall, I?d put my hands against the manikins and get frustrated on how long they are compared to mine. I?d also scan for people?s hands too and over time my eyes would just subconsciously to peoples hands. It?s the same for T.V. And since this obsession started right after school finished junior year, the summer gave time for the obsession to intensify and when senior year came I had a whole new pool of hands too look at. There?s this girl that sits across from me 1st hour who has the most perfect long bumpy fingers. I always have too look at them every chance I get.

Of course no one notices, because who in bloody hell has an obsession with hands ? It's not as if they are taboo to look at. In my memory files, I have visual images of various people's hands right next to face recognition.

I have fat, stubby square fingers that I got from my mom, while my dad has extremely long spidery fingers. Also, I (attempt to) play guitar and the instructor only made it worse by making me feel that I'm at a horrible disadvantage for having small hands.

Then it gets worse? To cut it short I injected myself with HGH (as enlarged hands is side effect) for a couple of weeks.

Now I fantasize about flying to Russia (all the way from the US) to get finger lengthening surgery. :yikes: Heck, that surgery is not even an option on the market but I feel somewhat relieved finding out that it's physically possible. I try to keep my mind off it by going for nice bike rides and trying to stay off the Internet but it doesn't work as my thoughts are much too dominating.

I acknowledge I am far from a healthy state of mind but at this point what am I to do? Definitely not tell my parents....

Thank you for caring and reading..

The Internet is great :)
 
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I just wanted to say hi.

I read your post and I wanted to let you know that I used to have an obsession with people's hands, well, the veins in their hands. I don't know when or how it went away, but I hadn't thought about that in a long time.

I think lots of people have interesting obsessions. It does sounds like maybe it's interfering with your life. I'm not really sure what to tell you to do. If you're uncomfortable discussing it with your parents, can you think of anyone else that could help you find someone to talk this over with, maybe a professional, a counselor or a doctor? Maybe someone else here would have a better idea. :)
 

parabola

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Hey Janet,
Thanks for replying. It really means a lot to me. Yes, I have thought about seeking outside professional help. I will be turning 18 in a month and a week. Then I will have more freedom. Thanks again.
 
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You're welcome. :)

I hope you can find someone. Most of us need some help with things like this every now and then.

:)
 

David Baxter

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Parabola, do you have any other obessive types of thoughts or any compulsive behaviors? tendencies toward perfectionism? anxiety? anything along those lines?

Does anyone in your extended family (including uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc.) have any of the above characteristics and or depression, etc.?

Also, I'm wondering why you think you can't tell your parents about this. How do you think they'd react?
 

ThatLady

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I adore hands! I always notice peoples' hands! I'm not obsessed with them, but they are a fascination for me. There's such a variety! :)

That said, if you feel you're really obsessing over them, the answers to Dr. Baxter's questions could offer some clues. The good news is, obsessive thinking can be treated.

I, too, wonder why you're so concerned about telling your parents and what you think their reaction might be.
 

parabola

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Jan 18, 2006
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I guess I can say I?m a very anxious person. Even reading this forum gets me anxious. Probably my most compulsive behavior is the Internet. My life is centered upon it and it has been for about four years. I remember when I used to have dial up and it was very painfully slow. When my parents would ban me from the computer for excessive usage, I would mourn in my room and the sound of the dial up connection just keeps playing in my head.

Another thing, I am very critical of things. I went with my mom to buy pants, and there was a tiny imperfection with the fabric that you could barely see. I made walk across the mall to return it. It bothers me when there are creases in a new pair of shoes. Before I buy, I check for small snags.

I don?t know much about my extended family, but I overheard that my dad is taking Zoloft. In my family, it?s all about putting a nice pleasant face in front of the relatives and they do the same.

Oh my parents? I can?t even begin to describe what will happen if then know about my ?true? self. I feel like my mom yells like a crazy woman at times. It?s written in my LiveJournal. And I write too much?If anything like that becomes news to them, they will assume it will just evaporate and roll away if a mask is worn. My mom said that once directly to me after an in-law fight. They found out twice about me self-medicating myself with stuff online. They yelled and lamented on why they spend their whole life raising this ?thing.? They might ask about why I look unhappy, but I know they assume its something trivial like not having a car.

I?d rather keep them somewhat content than wanting to destroy me for making their life miserable. That they don't know, can't stir up their anger.
 

^^Phoenix^^

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parabola,
I don't think its strange at all... I'm only just starting to learn to accept my feet, - i have really long spindly toes, and most of the time I wear socks and shoes. actually, (Im trying to think about why I'm learning to like them) I think because my b/f holds them, and is gentle, and I'm on the other end looking at his face wondering how come he isn't disgusted.... I don't know, I guess when I think about it, I shouldn't base my opinion on what others think, but he tells me that they are beautiful and I start to believe him, hahaha, I actually walk around the house barefoot now.
Anyway, I'm raving, I just wanted to convey that people do tend to have illogical emotions towards appendages, lol. Don't go changing them though... they are your hands...
HEY!!!
Maybe you should go and get plaster casts made out of them by an artist, that could show you the beauty in them?
 

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