Wanting to adopt

[Asuha]

Hello,

I am 21 and my fiance is 23. We have been together for 3 years and are getting married in summer 2014 so 2 years from now.

We have both been talking about it for a while and have decided we would love to have a kid after we are married. I have loved kids for most of my life even when I was a kid myself and have always known that I want to be a mother one day.

I know that it might be unfair of me to want to adopt when there are many people out there wanting children who aren't able to get pregnant. I have not yet tried to conceive so I don't know for sure but it would seem likely that I am able.

My problem is that I have always been afraid of doctors or anything medical related when it is myself involved so the idea of pregnancy is terrifying to me. I know that I am perfectly capable of raising a child and my fiance and I are already financially stable and well on our way to buying a house. I am doing my best to overcome my fear over the next 2 years in hopes that after we get married I can have a kid on my own without adopting. However if I am not able to work around that within the next few years I would really love to adopt.

So now that I have shared my reasons for considering adoption my reason for posting this here is because I am hoping other people would be willing to share their opinions/advice/experience/information in this with me. It would be greatly appreciated if anyone could provide me with information on how to go through a private adoption in Ontario, Canada. What will we need to do what are the qualifications? I am just trying to learn as much about this as I can since I am considering it as a possibility for my near future.

I am new to the site so I apologize if this sort of thing is not meant to be posted here. Thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Have you thought about how you are going to raise a child unless you get treatment for your fear of going to doctors?

 

[Asuha]

I am only afraid of going for myself so if my kids are sick I am able to take them. I am working on finding ways to get over my fear and I have at least 2 years to figure it out. If I was afraid of going to the doctors for other peoples sake then yes I would have trouble taking care of them when they are sick but that's not the same as raising them right? Raising them to be good people and taking care of their health are two different things but as far as their health is concerned I am capable and so is my fiance. I am not too worried about that part

 

[forgetmenot]

But you hun have to set an example for your children. If they see your fear of going to doctors then they to will pick up on that fear. You need to be able to take care of your health do you understand in order to take care of others If you are ill and not able to get to doctors to look after you then what

 

[MWCT]

Asuha,

Is your fear of doctors because of a certain event that occurred in the past that has made you afraid?
The joy of pregnancy and having your own child that is yours and your husband's is so worth it. I have 2! Friends of mine adopted (because they couldn't have children), but not only is it really expensive ($20,000 or so), they had to go outside the US (South Korea and China) because it could take years in the US (not sure if Canada is the same). For someone else - it took 6 years in the US before a child became available....and in the US, the birth mother can always choose to take the child back....that is why other countries have different laws regarding birth mother rights.

Good luck in whatever you choose.

 

[Asuha]

If they see your fear of going to doctors then they to will pick up on that fear.

I guess your right that could possibly happen. That's why I am trying to figure it out first. It isn't guaranteed though because my fiance isn't afraid and would set a good example so it's possible they would end up like him. Still working on it though I have 2 years to figure it out. I am really hoping to start building my family as soon as possible after I am married as I plan to have a big family and doing that takes a bit of time. Thank you everyone