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TheNorm

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Jun 16, 2007
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I have no friends and dont really like meeting or talking to new people. I dont like to party, dance, club, do drugs, or drink so that limits my possiblilities.

Ive tried church groups and I hate them and find any sort of organized group to be unenjoyable.

I want to know how weird I am, what a normal social life is supposed to be like and what do I do to get one?
 
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i think a "normal" social life depends a bit on what stage of your life you're at. i am guessing you're about the age of a student, and that is a time where one would spend a lot of time with fellow students, studying for exams, working on assignments together, etc. it depends on the individual how much of a social life they really have, some people like to spend more time alone and others thrive on being with people all the time.

I dont like to party, dance, club, do drugs, or drink so that limits my possiblilities.
just partying, doing drugs and drinking are things that are not healthy to be doing, so be glad you're not interested in those things :)

how old are you? what are your interests? are you into artsy stuff, or are you more a geeky type? a science type? an outdoors type? a sporty type? what do you do in your spare time when you're on your own?

what is it about organized groups that you don't like? maybe it just wasn't in your area of interest? maybe the people just weren't right for you/maybe the group atmosphere didn't work for you?

it's not necessary to be a part of an organized group. what it comes down to is to just do the things you enjoy and in doing those you hopefully meet people with similar interests who you get talking to. with some people it may seem to click, and eventually friendships form.
 

TheNorm

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Messages
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Somewtimes i wonder why i am so lame. I mean i dont like to party or club and no amount of booze could turn me into a fun time.

I wonder what is wrong with me, part of me wishes I could become Lindsay Lohan at the snap of my fingers and be the life of the party.

But I cant no matter what and I never will be and i hate it.

Do you think there is something wrong with me for sincerely not likeing to drink or party or club?

I mean I really hate it. And no amount of liquor will make me fun. As much as Id like to be Lindsay Lohan, it aint hapnin. I stay a lamoid no matter what...


Is something wrong with me?
 

Meg

Dr. Meg, Global Moderator, Practitioner
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Re: I hate being me

Hi Norm,

Sorry to hear that you're feeling so down at the moment. It's not easy when you wish you could be something that you don't think you'll ever get to be. It sounds to me like you're selling yourself a bit short, though! It seems important to you that you be the life of the party. Does not being the most outgoing person at a party really mean you're lame, though? Some of the most important attributes a person has, and which will help them to be successful in a variety of ways throughout life, are those that aren't so immediately obvious as being outgoing. I hope you can think of some of your own qualities, I'm sure that there are some good ones to choose from.
 

ThatLady

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If you're asking if there's something wrong with you because you don't like to do drugs, or drink alcohol, the answer is: "No, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you." There are a lot of people who don't like to do these things. I'm one of them. I'm not the least bit interested in doing drugs; nor, am I interested in drinking alcohol. It tastes awful! Blech!

Since going out partying, or clubbing, usually involves drinking, I think it's pretty normal that you don't like doing those things either. That certainly doesn't mean there's something "wrong" with you. In fact, you're probably on a better path than those who spend entirely too much time drinking, partying and clubbing. You just need to find others in your area who enjoy the same things you enjoy.

What kind of things do you enjoy? That might help us to think of things you might do to meet people who share your interests. :)
 

AVC

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Aug 23, 2006
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Well, you are communicating with and meeting people here on the forum, you can do the same in real life, maybe find some friends with common interests to yourself by visiting places that interest you.

Some people love birds and they join bird watching groups, others love art and go to art shows, others love music and go to the opera or to rock concerts, just do what you like and get out there and meet people with common interests, that's a social life.
 

Halo

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just do what you like and get out there and meet people with common interests, that's a social life.

I just wanted to point out that although it is great for you to say just get out there and meet people with common interests but for some that may be a huge problem, issue or roadblock that they face and it is not as easy as you make it sound.
 

begonia

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Joined
May 19, 2007
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As a recovering alcoholic, I can just add that trying to fit in with the party crowd by drinking can be a big mistake. That's what I (and lots of other people I know in recovery) tried to do. I tried to use alcohol to solve one problem--being uncomfortable around groups of people--and I ended up with another problem--alcoholism. Two problems, not just one. Of course, I'm not saying this would happen to you. Just that forcing yourself to use alcohol (or drugs) to be one of the gang is not a good idea.
 

Peanut

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Good point begonia. I agree with what the others have said too. Maybe the important question is not what is a normal social life but what is a fulfilling social life. There are lots of good suggestions on here though. I think if you feel like don't have the relationships you need, you might just want to find a way to stretch yourself a little more and put yourself out there, even if it's a little uncomfortable at first. Start with some small things and work your way up!
 

sunset

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Feb 22, 2006
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Somewtimes i wonder why i am so lame. I mean i dont like to party or club and no amount of booze could turn me into a fun time.

I wonder what is wrong with me, part of me wishes I could become Lindsay Lohan at the snap of my fingers and be the life of the party.
But I cant no matter what and I never will be and i hate it.

Do you think there is something wrong with me for sincerely not likeing to drink or party or club?

I mean I really hate it. And no amount of liquor will make me fun. As much as Id like to be Lindsay Lohan, it aint hapnin. I stay a lamoid no matter what...


Is something wrong with me?

Lindsey Lohan is not a happy person and is teetering on disaster. You DONT want to be like her.
There is nothing wrong with you and the word Normal is relative. Just be the best person you can be and follow your interests and heart. That will be your "normal", and what GOD had in mind for you.
 

ladylore

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Jul 7, 2007
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What is a fullfilling social life?

It isn't going to a club for me either. I grew up in small towns, I lived in Toronto for 8 years and I moved back to a village. Things have changed again since I am in my 30's. The most enjoyable social life for me is going to a potluck, a walk with a friend, window shopping - basically enjoying the small things. Yes, I would love to travel again and be part of some major events but they don't happen often. And it is part of my goals, but my major goal is to feel more comforable in my skin.

Ladylore :2cents:
 

HotthenCold

Member
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Sep 12, 2007
Messages
206
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I can empathize with your frustration at not feeling like your fun enough or having enough fun. I know that I've felt like "the life of the party", but I've also felt like the jack ass of the party, the quiet kid at the party, the completely unremarkable kid at the party, and everything beyond and in between, depending on my mood and the circumstances. One thing I can tell you from my years of partying in which I do not self limit myself and allow my "id" to take over is that all in all, it's led to a lot of time's in my life I could definitely do without, in a big way. Not that I haven't had any fun, but your definitely doing yourself a service to stay away from those things. I get the impression that there are a lot of really informed and wise young people nowadays that choose to stay away form drugs and alchohol. This is a GREAT thing. Think about the people you see wasted and how they act. There's probably five or six possible characteristics that could be used to describe everyone of them (us). Irritating, dramatic,inconsiderate, dangerous, self destructive, mean, clueless. at least when you sober you limit your chances of exhibiting these traits. Hopefully you can find some like minded people to hang out with and have fun with.
 

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