David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
When Is It Time to Stop Therapy?
by Deborah Gray
Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
Despite my belief that a large component of depression is biological, I am a strong believer in talk therapy. I have had three therapists, and I?ve been lucky that they were all effective and ethical therapists. I?ve learned a lot about myself, and more importantly, learned to analyze my own actions and feelings and deal with them constructively.
As valuable as therapy is, though, it should not go on forever. As my first therapist told me, ?A therapist?s job is similar to that of a parent ? the goal is to become obsolete.? In other words, while all therapy goals are tailored to the patient?s needs, in general the main goal is to give the patient the tools to handle problems on their own.
If you?re scratching your head at the word ?goal? and asking yourself when your therapist used that word, then you probably want to bring it up at your next session. A therapist should discuss what your goals are when you first start seeing him or her and occasionally revisit your goals to determine how far you?ve progressed toward completing them.
For instance, and let?s take the most difficult example, let?s say you have been diagnosed with depression and it?s been suggested as part of your treatment that you start talk therapy. This is what happened to me. At the time, I had no idea what was causing my depression. This is when my therapist told me that her job was to help me uncover what was causing my depression and help me move past it, and to make herself obsolete. The important thing was that we had a goal, as non-specific as it was at that point.
A compelling reason for keeping your therapy goal-oriented is your insurance company. Nowadays it?s likely that your insurance company is going to require your therapist to state goals for the therapy. What could happen, if the company doesn?t feel that your therapy is on track, is that they will insist that therapy be wrapped up in a few sessions.
Some mental health professionals would disagree with the assertion that therapy should be goal-oriented and argue that the journey of self-discovery can?t be pinned down to specific goals. My second round of therapy was in the psychoanalytic mode, which tends to be the least focused and longest-term, as it involves bringing the subconscious thoughts and feelings to the surface. Even so, we talked about my goals for the therapy frequently, which I think served to keep me on track.
Therapy, even psychoanalytic therapy, should not drag on forever. You should see progress in months, not years. If you are not seeing any progress and your therapist is unwilling to discuss goals, then you should find another therapist. You are not in therapy just to chat for 50 minutes; you are trying to improve some aspect of your life that you?re not happy with or find a reason for your depression.
One caveat is that it?s very common to want to leave therapy when it reaches a crucial point. You?re venturing into scary territory. I always knew that was the case when I was dreading therapy. Normally I either looked forward to it or felt fairly neutral about it. I have known people who left therapy at critical points, claiming the therapist couldn?t help them. This is not a healthy reason to end therapy. Talk to your therapist about your feelings.
It?s possible that you and your therapist will jointly come to the realization that you?re finished with therapy. If you feel that you?ve accomplished what you wanted to, but your therapist hasn?t said anything, it?s up to you to tell him or her that you are ready to leave therapy. Assuming your therapist has your best interests at heart, he or she will be thrilled to hear this.
by Deborah Gray
Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
Despite my belief that a large component of depression is biological, I am a strong believer in talk therapy. I have had three therapists, and I?ve been lucky that they were all effective and ethical therapists. I?ve learned a lot about myself, and more importantly, learned to analyze my own actions and feelings and deal with them constructively.
As valuable as therapy is, though, it should not go on forever. As my first therapist told me, ?A therapist?s job is similar to that of a parent ? the goal is to become obsolete.? In other words, while all therapy goals are tailored to the patient?s needs, in general the main goal is to give the patient the tools to handle problems on their own.
If you?re scratching your head at the word ?goal? and asking yourself when your therapist used that word, then you probably want to bring it up at your next session. A therapist should discuss what your goals are when you first start seeing him or her and occasionally revisit your goals to determine how far you?ve progressed toward completing them.
For instance, and let?s take the most difficult example, let?s say you have been diagnosed with depression and it?s been suggested as part of your treatment that you start talk therapy. This is what happened to me. At the time, I had no idea what was causing my depression. This is when my therapist told me that her job was to help me uncover what was causing my depression and help me move past it, and to make herself obsolete. The important thing was that we had a goal, as non-specific as it was at that point.
A compelling reason for keeping your therapy goal-oriented is your insurance company. Nowadays it?s likely that your insurance company is going to require your therapist to state goals for the therapy. What could happen, if the company doesn?t feel that your therapy is on track, is that they will insist that therapy be wrapped up in a few sessions.
Some mental health professionals would disagree with the assertion that therapy should be goal-oriented and argue that the journey of self-discovery can?t be pinned down to specific goals. My second round of therapy was in the psychoanalytic mode, which tends to be the least focused and longest-term, as it involves bringing the subconscious thoughts and feelings to the surface. Even so, we talked about my goals for the therapy frequently, which I think served to keep me on track.
Therapy, even psychoanalytic therapy, should not drag on forever. You should see progress in months, not years. If you are not seeing any progress and your therapist is unwilling to discuss goals, then you should find another therapist. You are not in therapy just to chat for 50 minutes; you are trying to improve some aspect of your life that you?re not happy with or find a reason for your depression.
One caveat is that it?s very common to want to leave therapy when it reaches a crucial point. You?re venturing into scary territory. I always knew that was the case when I was dreading therapy. Normally I either looked forward to it or felt fairly neutral about it. I have known people who left therapy at critical points, claiming the therapist couldn?t help them. This is not a healthy reason to end therapy. Talk to your therapist about your feelings.
It?s possible that you and your therapist will jointly come to the realization that you?re finished with therapy. If you feel that you?ve accomplished what you wanted to, but your therapist hasn?t said anything, it?s up to you to tell him or her that you are ready to leave therapy. Assuming your therapist has your best interests at heart, he or she will be thrilled to hear this.
