Why can't I stop?

[Ashley-Kate]

Well i have been battling anorexia and bulimia for the past 6 years now and well i am doing much better but one thing i can't get under control is my constant need to move all the time, i know i am overdoing cause my body tells me so but i can't stop when i sit down my legs are moving constantly and i have this huge fear of stopping i feel that i would gain so many lbs. my body is already fragile do to the treatment i put it threw with the other eating disorders i developped a deficiency in iron and in viata,ine b12 .. therefore i am anemic and my body is very weekened because ofit but i don't let it rest i constantly need to movea all the time i don't know how to stop please can anybody help
ashley

 

[Eunoia]

hey hun... I think part of that should at least be discussed in your therapy and will probably eventually decrease once you've continued to work on your ed and other issues... the thing about ed's is that they encompass a whole lot more than just purely eating, right? there's thoughts that go along w/ it, behaviours, habits, rituals, certain situations or places, exercise etc.. so this is just one aspect of the bigger picture and not all of those will improve at the same rate, some may even stay but be less debilitating or decrease in frequency and severity... for ex. some people are just active or have a low tolerance for concentration and repetitive things, so they may feel the need to "always get up" etc..

I don't know what your therapists told you but maybe you can think of activities you could do that would give you that opportunity to let out your energy etc., but that isn't too straining on you... the last thing you want to be doing right now is something that your body is not ready to do. your #1 priority is to get better and no amount of exercise is worth sabotaging that unless your therapists and doctors all agree it's okay...

I know this probably isn't of much help, but maybe you don't know this already.. you are on average burning a good amount of cals just by going through your day, following your routines and getting things done... ie. housework even burns cals b/c you're moving, so the small amount of cals you would be burning by moving ie. when you're sitting would NOT in any way make a significant difference.. I know it feels that way and it's uncomfortable sitting still, espec. when food is on your mind, but you won't get fat if you do sit still... and sometimes that's a much needed break you need.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

thanks

your post was really helpfulll and made a lot of sence tahk-you very much you are compltly right but i must admit it is not that easy to stop my head won't let me although my body is screaming that i can't stay put at all only to sleep the minumum time possible to start it all over the next day it is pretty damn scary and i am at a loss i don't know what to do...
yours trully
ashley

 

[Eunoia]

If only it would be easier to listen to our bodies. There's usually a reason for feeling pain, feeling exhausted, feeling weak... it's a sign of something. Having an ed screws w/ being able to recognize those signs, but if you're really paying attention, you know why they're there... you almost have to re-learn to recognize those signs and then be able to act on them, which is always easier said than done. I know it's not easy, it's even scarry to want to listen to your body, b/c you're trying to be in control of things... if you haven't already brought this up w/ your therapists I would do so, to get their input on this too. Your body has been telling you that it's exhausted, that it can't go through all these stressors anymore, and it'll take more than eating right to restore it to a healthy state. For example, if you're not sleeping enough, you might actually be contributing to feeling more resteless, like you can't concetrate and stay still, ie. if you're running on little sleep and lots of caffeine... and I know telling you that you're burning minimal amounts of cals isn't going to make you less likely to want to be active even when sitting, but rationalization and awareness can take you a long way, maybe not by themselves, but along w/ other things. And it does seem like a lot of pain to put yourself through for almost no outcome, right? But again, I am hearing what you're saying- it's not as simple as that.

 

[Diana]

Hey Ashley-Kate. It's nice to hear from you since you're only able to post once in a while now. It's also great to hear that you're still doing better.
Your body is a whole network of things and your mind, emotions, behaviours and bodily functions all interract and influence each other. I don't know much about chemicals, but it might be possible that your brain is producing an excess of seretonin. Doctors have even done studies and wondered if anorexia is more common in people who produce too much seretonin. Seretonin makes people feel calm, but too much can make someone edgy and jittery. Eating causes your brain to produce seretonin, so there has been an idea that anorexics stop eating to lower their seretonin levels (well, not consciously, but maybe it makes them feel better temporarily). After a long time this doesn't work anymore, because your brain recognizes the lack of seretonin so it works harder to produce more.
This is just an idea. I know that your wanting to move is also associated with wanting to burn calories. It could also be a way of trying to deal with the changes you've had to make. My point though, is that you have to give your entire body time to balance itself out in every aspect - emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. Most people don't have a perfect balance, but as you continue to get better your body is going to try to regulate itself as best it can. We're all proud of you, so keep it up as hard as it may be.