Working while Waiting for Disability

[stargazer]

[I was thinking you might like that Festival! I've been there once but it was sooo long ago. Have you been before?]

Not for a long time. But I've known a number of people who have worked there over the years.

Actually I think U of O is in Eugene which is another very cool town too. I get those two towns (or are they cities?) mixed up.

I meant, Southern Oregon University. I was getting the names of the schools mixed up.

Wow~ she gave herself that name!? I love it...how creative! So she is into the arts as well then?

Yes, artistically inclined. I actually learned of the name "Echo" in May 2004 going to her show here in Berkeley. I told someone I was Angela's dad, and they said, "is she also 'Echo'?" and I was like "huh?"

My brother Steve is on his way over now to help me fill out the third party info on my SSI form. The SSA wrote and said they needed additional information before they could process my application. (Boy--that went back to the "subject" quickly!) Steve also lives here in Berkeley.

 

[Peanut]

My brother Steve is on his way over now to help me fill out the third party info on my SSI form. The SSA wrote and said they needed additional information before they could process my application. (Boy--that went back to the "subject" quickly!) Steve also lives here in Berkeley.

That is really good that your brother is going to help you. Not only is it nice to have the help, but I think it's nice to have the company for tedious things like filling out long forms (I mean I realize he has to fill out the third party part but still!).

I actually learned of the name "Echo" in May 2004 going to her show here in Berkeley. I told someone I was Angela's dad, and they said, "is she also 'Echo'?" and I was like "huh?"

LOL~ That's funny! What a way to find out your daughter's new name!

 

[stargazer]

He just came and went. He'll do the mailing himself, later. I was looking at my answers, and they seemed awfully hyperbolic compared to the honesty I was able to manifest in actual person-to-person contact with the psychiatrist. Not sure why that is--sometimes I get this attitude like I have to *prove* that I qualify, and perhaps I over-do it at those moments. In any case, I'm sure his answers will be straightforward. After all, he's known me all his life. He's probably been waiting years for this moment. 8)

On my way up the hill now. It's been nice "chatting" with you, Toeless.

 

[Peanut]

Not sure why that is--sometimes I get this attitude like I have to *prove* that I qualify, and perhaps I over-do it at those moments

Haha, I know that feeling really well!! Don't you love those little bursts of "attitude"?!

After all, he's known me all his life. He's probably been waiting years for this moment.

Look out!

hyperbolic

That's a great word! 8)

It's been great chatting with you too!! Have fun tonight and record some good stuff!

 

[Holly]

Yes, I wrote the song. There are credits and a copyright notice at the bottom of the page. I'm glad you appreciated it

Hi stargazer,
Your so talented being able to write wonderful lyrics, songs, I will have to listen to them all, after I seen what you posted.
Thank you for sharing this talent with the forum. Good Luck with the new journey, over the next two weeks.
Take care and chat soon, hope you get to update us with the laptop if your not to busy.
Enjoy the next two weeks stargazer.

 

[stargazer]

I'm staying the night at a good friend's house on the California Coast between San Francisco and Santa Cruz. The session went pretty well, amid snags. Then he and his family and I had a late dinner and conversation, so now at 11:30 PST I've finally gotten a moment to myself to check in with you guys. Not sure if anyone's still up though--it would be rather late in Ontario. Toeless, are *you* up?

The reason I ask is because I'm about to upload the new studio stuff we did tonight onto the web site. If interested, please download the one called "Secrets." Lauren Mack's interpretation is fabulous. The Berkeley engineer also did a re-mix of "Reaching for Your Hand" with a much better balance between Tessa and the band. So it'll go up too.

Catch you all soon, I hope.

 

[stargazer]

Am encountering gross technical difficulties. Succeeded in uploading the new mix of "Reaching," but have been unable to upload "Secrets" so far. I keep encountering a frustrating mismatch of disappearing files. My friend Alex swears he can fix it, but he's busy talking to a client. (He has a tendency to stay up all night working, now that the wife and kids are asleep.) Besides, I think he probably caused the problem to begin with, when he maniacally took over my computer and started creating all these special folders against my will. But that's all because I asked for his help, when the usual drop & drag method of getting the file from my iTunes onto MyMusic mysteriously failed...anyway, I know none of you are up. Hopefully I'll have it done by morning.

 

[stargazer]

OK it's all uploaded. Unfortunately, we didn't get to "Testament." There's a conflict between the way files are handled between the two studios, which neither engineer was able to resolve, unfortunately. I'm going to have to lobby Tessa and Shanise's mom to see if they can come to Berkeley later on in the Summer and do the whole song over again. But "Secrets" and "Reaching" are done. Hope you enjoy them!

 

[ThatLady]

Loved the song, stargazer, and the young lady's voice is really quite mature for a fourteen-year-old. Beautifully done!

 

[stargazer]

Thanks, ThatLady. She really is gifted.

 

[just mary]

Hi Stargazer,

Just wanted to say that I listened to "Secrets" and "Reaching". They were amazing, thanks! And the young woman who sang was amazing also.

Take care,

 

[stargazer]

Boy, I am so thrilled that all you guys are listening to these! it's hard enough getting an audience in real life these days, much less over the Internet! Oh, just in case it's not clear, there are different singers. The girl singing "Reaching" is only 14, and the one who sings "Secrets" is 18. The credits are indicated at the bottom of the page. Very talented young people--I'm lucky.

 

[Peanut]

I'm staying the night at a good friend's house on the California Coast between San Francisco and Santa Cruz. The session went pretty well, amid snags. Then he and his family and I had a late dinner and conversation, so now at 11:30 PST I've finally gotten a moment to myself to check in with you guys. Not sure if anyone's still up though--it would be rather late in Ontario. Toeless, are *you* up?

Hey Stargazer!!! I am here now! I was up I wish I would have checked the computer! I am so glad to hear the session went well! I'll check out the latest Reaching for Your Hand and Secrets (I like that one already ).

It sounds like you're having so much fun!! And your new job starts tomorrow!

You're on a roll! 8)

 

[stargazer]

Actually, I've been kind of overly "amped" the past couple days, particularly since shortly after the studio session. I was both excited about the work at the Berkeley studio, and a little bit upset with the way things had gone at the local studio, the one in the Wine Country. My friends commented last night that I seemed "manic," and I felt as though I were tending in that direction. I wonder if this happens when I'm "on a roll."

Also, I didn't go to bed until about 2:30 in the morning, and I got up at 5:45am, my usual wake-up time. I haven't felt a need for sleep, either. So I'm not sure this is all so good. I have a 3 1/2 hour Bus/BART/train combination to get to the site of the new job tonight, so hopefully I will sleep on the bus.

My suspicion is, once I catch up on my sleep, I'll be all right. All the excitement has had me a little worked up.

 

[Peanut]

Hey, you know, I think it's OK to be excited. You have every reason to be worked up. You have a lot of stuff going on. A lot of it is new and exciting too. Obviously I'm not a doctor or anything but I think that you can feel up and excited and not have to be labeled as manic just because you have bipolar disorder. I haven't been sleeping that much either...I think it kind of goes along with all of the commotion.

That is of course, only my opinion which may or may not be correct I just didn't want to see you discount your positive feelings or try not to be excited when you have every reason to be.

 

[stargazer]

You might be right. I think I have been influenced by my friends' perspective, even though they of course are not doctors either. And I think it's also true that since the episode, I (and others in my life) have often used the word "manic" a little too loosely.

So, I'm just out the door for the long bus/train trip. Not sure when I'll be back online, as I'm uncertain of my online status at the gig. Probably there are wi-fi cafes around, I just have to tune into their whereabouts. So it might be a while before I "see" you guys again.

Thanks for everything!

 

[Peanut]

Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I think sometimes once we have given ourselves labels we have a tendency to attribute behaviour that isn't actually that abnormal to the disorder. Really I think there is a really a lot of flexibility as to what can be considered normal.

often used the word "manic" a little too loosely.

Yes, I agree and do the same thing with various psychiatric terms...and I think it's OK to illustrate a point to people who know what you're talking about but if we say it enough I think sometimes we start to convince ourselves of it!

In fact a lot of times if I tell my therapist something he'll just tell me that that sounds really pretty normal...when sometimes I think it's like some manifestation of psychological problems. I guess that's why it's nice to check in with an unbiased person about stuff like that (i.e. a therapist or someone trained).

OK now I will go listen to your songs and have a great trip!

 

[stargazer]

I think sometimes once we have given ourselves labels we have a tendency to attribute behaviour that isn't actually that abnormal to the disorder. Really I think there is a really a lot of flexibility as to what can be considered normal.

That was very well-put, Toeless. I've noticed that not only do *I* do this at times, but my friends do it as well. It can sometimes be awkward when, for example, I feel that my behavior is within the range of my self-control, and a friend is concerned that I'm beginning to become "manic." It's almost unnecessary, given that I myself so often suspect myself of manifesting my disorder, at least in some small way. It's very important to me to see the signs. Then again, I supposed if I lost track of myself, and plunged into a full-fledged episode, the people around me would see it before I did. So it's good to have those kinds of friends in one's support group. But I do think they need to realize that they are not trained professionals, and that their ideas as to what is "manic" (or any other disorder state) are not always accurate. And nor are mine. I just think it's good to keep aware of all these things.

In fact a lot of times if I tell my therapist something he'll just tell me that that sounds really pretty normal...when sometimes I think it's like some manifestation of psychological problems.

Although I haven't been in therapy for a while, I recall that happening as well. However, I also recall the experience of being told I was "having a hypomanic episode" when I honestly thought everything was fine. Looking back, of course, I realize everything wasn't fine.

(By the way, I just arrived in the town of the job and have checked into my hotel. The company paid for it. Then they're going to put me up in a room in a house for the next two weeks. There's Wireless Internet at the hotel, so I'm here! In about an hour and a half, though, we're having a company pow-wow, so I need to brief myself on some materials I was presented. But I'll be off and on.)

 

[Peanut]

That was very well-put, Toeless

LOL, oh yea very well put with my excessive use of the word "really" Oops! :red:

Hey I listened to more of your songs!! My absolute favorite is "Secrets"!! I really liked the music and it sounded like there was maybe another instrument in it? The beat was really catchy and the vocals sounded really solid. I liked the lyrics a lot too...."Lonely guys with wandering eyes are easy to detect"!! It's nice to hear songs where you can actually discern what the words are...a lot of songs these days it is hard to tell what the words are!

So my favourite song vote goes to Secrets!!

That hotel room sounds like a blast! I love staying at hotels! Lucky!

 

[stargazer]

"Secrets" is pretty much everybody's favorite song in my show. The instruments are electronic piano, electric bass, electric guitar, drums, and synthesizers. The synthesizer is a cello sound early on and bass trombone later. Um, you might want to listen with good headphones, it brings out all the instruments. Not sure what kind of computer speakers you have.

I thought Lauren Mack did an outstanding job of interpretation. Amazing that we'd never even practiced together. I met her on the Internet, sent her an mp3, and she just showed up to record it. She was in and out of the studio in less than an hour. She's also only 18 years old.