Hi Everyone,
I am really worried and freaking out about people involved in my care talking behind my back. I'm in the UK and am seeing a psychotherapist on the NHS. I recently told my therapist about suicidal thoughts I had and she had no choice but to contact my CMHT (Community Mental Health Team) and see if they could offer me more local support in between my sessions. I had an appointment with someone there yesterday and I think I came across as really hostile. I can't help it, I get really stressed about these kind of meetings and when I feel that I don't know what the point is of the conversation or that they're not taking me seriously, I get really wound up and frustrated. I self harm and have suicidal thoughts sometimes and suffer with depression and anxiety.
The person I saw said that if I looked at the sun outside and thought how nice it was and thought about what I could look forward to in the day, then things might improve. I felt this to be very simplistic and almost insulting. I got annoyed and complained that I didn't know what was going on with the service they offered or why I keep having to have the same conversations and assessments with different people and it never leads anywhere. She asked me what my diagnosis was and I said I didn't have one because the psychiatrists there are unwilling to give labels to people but that whenever I call the crisis line the first thing they ask is, haven't you got a diagnosis?? And when I say no, I feel they don't take me seriously or think I'm being dramatic. I'm so fed up with it. I said I wasn't happy to see 2 of the psychiatrists that I've seen before because one was so rude that I almost made a complaint and the other couldn't even remember what he had prescribed me and refused to go anywhere near a diagnosis.
Anyway, I agreed to have an appointment with a different psychiatrist and left and cried my eyes out and self harmed again. I just feel SO frustrated with it all. Is it just me? How come no one understands me? My biggest worry is what this woman will say to my therapist. I'm terrified that she is going to call her and tell her I was ungrateful or hostile or came across as aggressive or something. I don't want my therapist to think badly of me as things have been going well lately. I feel that this stupid meeting is going to jeopardize my therapy, the only thing that was actually going well. I almost feel like quitting therapy now because I can't deal with thinking my therapist has heard bad things about me and maybe isn't telling me or thinks I'm unreasonable/ungrateful/demanding etc.
Sorry for the long rant. I'm just sounding off. Has anyone else had similar experiences of the mental health services talking to each other? I had given consent for that to happen, but now I've changed my mind.
Thanks for listening/reading this far.
Poss
I am really worried and freaking out about people involved in my care talking behind my back. I'm in the UK and am seeing a psychotherapist on the NHS. I recently told my therapist about suicidal thoughts I had and she had no choice but to contact my CMHT (Community Mental Health Team) and see if they could offer me more local support in between my sessions. I had an appointment with someone there yesterday and I think I came across as really hostile. I can't help it, I get really stressed about these kind of meetings and when I feel that I don't know what the point is of the conversation or that they're not taking me seriously, I get really wound up and frustrated. I self harm and have suicidal thoughts sometimes and suffer with depression and anxiety.
The person I saw said that if I looked at the sun outside and thought how nice it was and thought about what I could look forward to in the day, then things might improve. I felt this to be very simplistic and almost insulting. I got annoyed and complained that I didn't know what was going on with the service they offered or why I keep having to have the same conversations and assessments with different people and it never leads anywhere. She asked me what my diagnosis was and I said I didn't have one because the psychiatrists there are unwilling to give labels to people but that whenever I call the crisis line the first thing they ask is, haven't you got a diagnosis?? And when I say no, I feel they don't take me seriously or think I'm being dramatic. I'm so fed up with it. I said I wasn't happy to see 2 of the psychiatrists that I've seen before because one was so rude that I almost made a complaint and the other couldn't even remember what he had prescribed me and refused to go anywhere near a diagnosis.
Anyway, I agreed to have an appointment with a different psychiatrist and left and cried my eyes out and self harmed again. I just feel SO frustrated with it all. Is it just me? How come no one understands me? My biggest worry is what this woman will say to my therapist. I'm terrified that she is going to call her and tell her I was ungrateful or hostile or came across as aggressive or something. I don't want my therapist to think badly of me as things have been going well lately. I feel that this stupid meeting is going to jeopardize my therapy, the only thing that was actually going well. I almost feel like quitting therapy now because I can't deal with thinking my therapist has heard bad things about me and maybe isn't telling me or thinks I'm unreasonable/ungrateful/demanding etc.
Sorry for the long rant. I'm just sounding off. Has anyone else had similar experiences of the mental health services talking to each other? I had given consent for that to happen, but now I've changed my mind.
Thanks for listening/reading this far.
Poss