My exhusband and I have joint custody of my 8yr old son. I am domcilliary parent and our papers state that "except in the case of emergencies, the domicillary parent is responsible for final decisions for all medical, psychiatric and dental treatment". My ex is constatly taking me to court asking for full custody since I remarried 2 yrs ago. Since the divorce 5yrs ago, we have gone through several family and psych evales ordered by the couorts. Early last year I put my son in therapy because the whole ordeal has taken it's toll. Early this year my ex took him to a psychologist. She saw him twice and rendered an opinion of MY household. She only saw him with his father in the waiting room, she knew he had a therapist, she knew this was an ongoing court battle, and she never notified me of these visits. I question the ethics of this greatly. I "dropped it" though. But this past week, my ex has taken my son to her again. I am dumbfounded as to how this is at all therapeutic or ethical. I honestly thought a Psychologists ethics prohibited them from being a hired gun. There are no allegations of abuse.. so how can she see my son without my permission? My ex is an abusive man who is able to "charm". My son, however, is not happy with seeing this lady and told me about it crying. He knows his Dad is using this against me in court and he feels guilty for seeing the Psychologist. In addition, she told my son to stop playing with stuffed animals, do more "boy" things and make some "real" friends. So my son questions if playing with his stuffed animals is "girly". In all of my son's pain, these stuffed animals are his friends and he uses one, in particuolar, as a transferance item from my house to his Dads. I'm not asking for legal advice... I just question the ethics of this Psychologist and do not want my son overexposed to the Mental health world. Especially when it's a negative experience for him.
- Thread starter nursejo
- Start date
ThatLady
Member
a question of ethics...
If I were you, I would discuss this with my attorney. The fact that your son lives with you, and you are named in the custody document as the parent with whom the decision as to medical, dental and psychiatric treatment resides, it would seem to me that your husband has no right to take the child to a psychologist without your permission. Your attorney is better able to interpret the custody document than I am, but it looks like your husband is breaking it by taking the child for medical treatment without your permission.
If I were you, I would discuss this with my attorney. The fact that your son lives with you, and you are named in the custody document as the parent with whom the decision as to medical, dental and psychiatric treatment resides, it would seem to me that your husband has no right to take the child to a psychologist without your permission. Your attorney is better able to interpret the custody document than I am, but it looks like your husband is breaking it by taking the child for medical treatment without your permission.
a question of ethics...
My lawyer has just had a baby and I'm unable to reach her. Her partner sees nothing wrong with just letting him keep taking my son to the therapist. She feels the judge will throw out anything the therapist says anyway. Which may be true, but my concern isn't about court. It's about the time before court and my son having to participate in the visits. All of the court appointed evaluations have suggested my ex get anger management and have been favorable to my current husband and I. ( not sure if "favorable" the right word there.... I just mean that the reports show that we are dedicated parents and provide a stable environment for my son) This is why the exhusband wants another opinion. But again.. my son is in the middle. My question is about the ethics of her seeing my son. Shouldn't the therapist have read the custody papers? She knows the legal situation.
My lawyer has just had a baby and I'm unable to reach her. Her partner sees nothing wrong with just letting him keep taking my son to the therapist. She feels the judge will throw out anything the therapist says anyway. Which may be true, but my concern isn't about court. It's about the time before court and my son having to participate in the visits. All of the court appointed evaluations have suggested my ex get anger management and have been favorable to my current husband and I. ( not sure if "favorable" the right word there.... I just mean that the reports show that we are dedicated parents and provide a stable environment for my son) This is why the exhusband wants another opinion. But again.. my son is in the middle. My question is about the ethics of her seeing my son. Shouldn't the therapist have read the custody papers? She knows the legal situation.
Heather
Member
a question of ethics...
I think that that is disgusting re: the stuffed animals thing.
Sorry the rest is as well but I am an early childhood worker and if I get the degree that I am hoping to get in 6 months I will be trained in caring for children up to your sons age and he should be able to play with those stuffed animals especially if they help, sigh.
Sorry I got annoyed when I read, I hope you can sort this out, talk to someone surely he can not do this.
Heather...
I think that that is disgusting re: the stuffed animals thing.
Sorry the rest is as well but I am an early childhood worker and if I get the degree that I am hoping to get in 6 months I will be trained in caring for children up to your sons age and he should be able to play with those stuffed animals especially if they help, sigh.
Sorry I got annoyed when I read, I hope you can sort this out, talk to someone surely he can not do this.
Heather...
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
a question of ethics...
There's another avenue open to you, nursejo. If you know the name and professional status of this therapist, you can file a formal complaint with the licensing board. It is entirely unethical for any mental health professional to draw conclusions as to fitness to parent or custody and access issues without having direct and face to face contact with both parents and preferably to observe the child/children interacting with both parents.
There's another avenue open to you, nursejo. If you know the name and professional status of this therapist, you can file a formal complaint with the licensing board. It is entirely unethical for any mental health professional to draw conclusions as to fitness to parent or custody and access issues without having direct and face to face contact with both parents and preferably to observe the child/children interacting with both parents.
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