More threads by cindylo


HiI am new to this forum so hello to everybody.

I have been looking through the info and it's really good information. I have never had a drug and alcohol problem ( exept cigarettes and coffee)so would like to ask some questions if I could.

I was involved with a man for abut six months earlier this year. He was 46 years old. He seemed like the nicest person. Every evening, 5pm he would start to drink and smoke pot. I don't have a problem with people using these types of drugs occasionally, I drink when I am stressed and I in fact tried pot for the first time in my life with him. It soon became apparent that he was more than socially using, he was in fact hiding how much he was using. He was even using eye drops in the mornings so I suspect it was not just an after 5 thing with the pot.

His wife and children left him last year. One of his daughters left home before that because she could not take his abusive behaviour any more. When I got involved with him I was not aware of any of these things.

As I got to know him better he became quite emotionally abusive. Mocking and humiliating and other things that were quite cruel. He is a very intelligent man but seemed to have a stupidness about him at yhe same time. He was also very controlling eg asking why I would take so long shopping etc. Needless to say I was out of there after a few incidences like this.

My qestion is does long term use of alcohol and marijuana account for these behaviours? He certainly wasn't psychotic though I think he may have had anxiety problems. Or is it a case of the real person coming out due to the disinhibiting affects of these drugs?

Hope someone can answer me

Thanks for your time


David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
I don't think in most cases alcohol or drug abuse causes this sort of behavior. I think you're probably right in your suggestion that the use of alcohol and drugs simply disinhibited him so he didn't bother to control it any more.

Sounds like a mean man who became meaner when he was under the influence. I think you made a wise choice in leaving.
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