Four years ago I moved out with our two teenage children. I had a lawyer draw up divorce papers and my partner avoided being served for a few months. Then, one of our sons became ill, and I put the divorce proceedings on hold. Our son continues to require some support but is fairly healthy now. My former partner also went through depression etc. Then almost two years ago his mother (whom we were all close to) unexpectedly died while the boys and I were staying with her over the summer, as we had for many years. It has now been four and a half years that we have been living separately. I have not been able to make progress at actually separating our finances and getting a divorce. My former partner gets very angry and tells me I have to keep discussing the steps together with him. I tried telling him I don't want to, as he has a history of avoiding changes and decisions. He counters that my actions with a lawyer would be wrong and it's better to work through the details ourselves and then each take it to a lawyer later. I think he is stalling and feel like this could go on for another ten years. He says we shouldn't have a specific date to work towards, but just keep working on the individual steps of the process until we completed the steps and are ready to go to the lawyers with the paperwork. He has some good points with this, except that in my experience with him for twenty years, it takes him an extraordinary amount of time to get jobs done, and many never got done (our family home is his residence and it has been neglected to the point of now having substantial damage,and no running water, as he refuses to get plumbing repairs done). I don't think I can proceed with a divorce unless I do not have to speak with him any more. I do not want to be verbally abused and intimidated by my former partner. I would like to move to a different town and have a lawyer proceed, but my youngest is settled in high school for another three years.