an ending

[GaryQ]

Right now I just hope you can find some peace and one positive thing you need to remember : She was doing great for what 4 months? You didn;t think that would ever happen right? But it did so try and remember the progress she has made and if they don't help her properly you just do what you did last time and bring her where she got good and caring help. Gotta do what you gotta do.

Big virtual hug :support:

 

[forgetmenot]

Girl called said there is hope she will be transferred to the other side tonight i will not hold my breath i was just glad she called me she sounded better tonight.
Hope it happens hope they transfer my visiting time over there for tomorrow.
Will call in morning to make sure. uggg tired i am to see therapist tomorrow not much to say to him his words never mind hope i sleep tonight so i am rested up to see girl tomorrow long day tomorrow for me long drives hope weather is not bad.

 

[gooblax]

Very glad to hear that your daughter called you tonight and I hope that there's good news tomorrow fmn.
At least if you see your therapist tomorrow you can discuss some of these worries with them, and maybe how you've been doing with the self care with what's been going on?

 

[Jesse910]

Hey FMN: There are days when I wake up and I want to remain in bed. However, I force myself to get up because I owe it to myself to find something soothing each day. For example, today, it was a dog sticking it's head out the car window; it was a friend making a silly face at me; and it was my dog eating some pizza crust. I feel lonely / depressed most days. I fight it because, I have a husband and adult son who would never understand. I would not understand FMN. When I hit bottom, I talk to my husband. And, if he does not understand, I keep talking. And, after the death of my former therapist 7 months ago, I am talking to my new therapist. You are not alone in your thoughts. I hope you get to see your therapist soon. Please keep talking here. Your words have been a big help to me.

 

[Jesse910]

FMN:
My thoughts are with you and your daughter. Unlike your daughter, I was only held on 72 HR hold twice in the same year. Unless you have experienced it, the will is not to "die," so much as it's to end the pain. I am hoping with you that your daughter finds the will to live and that you find calm during these moment to moment day.

 

[forgetmenot]

i Jesse i am glad you are talking to your therapist so glad you are and also that you are able to reach out to your husband.
I am sorry you are feeling so depressed i know that hurts that deep depression.

Thanks for saying i can talk here i did write so much of my pain out here but deleted it all. I um been too triggered to trust anyone now not after how they treated my daughter in lock up.
I still see the judgement i still see the cruelty shown the abuse really emotional abuse verbal abuse towards the mentally ill.
Jessie i could go on and on and on but it will not help anyone. I just wish people would use more compassion that is all

Yes i am lost and i am very very very sad omg cannot do this um i did talk to therapist about what happened to trigger me i tried to tell him anyways how i could not even speak the next couple days after what happened
i cannot trust Jessie i cannot trust no one.
My therapist saw how worn out i was encouraged self care and i am trying to that. I am just tired of the fight you know of the battles inside me.
I know no matter how low i get the thoughts those thoughts i cannot go there because there is no one that will be there for my girl if i leave and it scares me because what happens to her when i do go who will be there to show here she matters.

Thanks Jesse really i do believe you do understand thanks for reaching out.

 

[Jesse910]

FMN: When I tried to take my life, I heard the staff talking about me. Because I am a private person, their words cut me. Hang on.

 

[forgetmenot]

I am sorry they were so unprofessional in that way. My girl is still on form but not in the intensive care part now she is still locked in has 30 min passes so to speak
She had trouble with getting back on time i brought her a watch it seems to help her. I also brought her more things to color more paper to draw on.
I will hang on you too ok going to try to rest soon thanks for talking to me You continue to take care of you ok.

 

[GaryQ]

Yes, both of you take care of yourselves.