Quote of the Day
"Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it."
Steven Pressfield, posted by David Baxter
It's different for different individuals, hon. A lot depends on whether or not you have help, in the form of a therapist, and/or an excellent support system, to help you through the really difficult bits. Because each of us is unique, it's almost impossible to place a time-frame on recovery.
I have a good support system with my parents and current boyfriend. I do not want to end up a bitter person hating men. Right now I find it very hard to forget certain things and I feel as if I keep thinking about them, I will make myself sick.
Thank you for responding
What you're feeling is very common in people who have had their trust violated, hon. Most do not end up bitter, hating people. It takes time, and therapy (if you're lucky enough to have access) to get past the hurt, but once you've learned to cope with the feelings in a positive, forward-looking manner, the world opens up in a most astounding way.
Good luck to you. It sounds like you have the right attitude to come out of this mess relatively unscathed. Keep us posted on how you're doing. )
I am in the same boat. I trust no one. Men and Woman. I can't shake it either.Ive tried all kinds of self therapy and spoke with lots of family and friends. Every time I think I have survived. Some one else comes along and throws me back down. Im sorry I cant help when I need help.
yes, the second question. (sorta) I used to let myself get close quickly and then yes they end up not being who they were when I got close. By then its to late. Then I am again crushed with disappointment.
I tend to get my emotions caught up with people I care for. So much so i sometimes think I feel their pain more then they do. People tend to be drawn to me that are needy. Friends tell me I am motherly. I have become very secluded because I am worn out from other peoples pain. I havent had a chance to deal with my pain yet.
You sound like a caring person eager to help others, which is a wonderful attribute. I believe there are different degrees of closeness in relationships, ranging from casual acquaintances like people we see on the bus going to work every day to the most intimate relationships and everything in between.
To avoid being hurt and disappointed in a relationship, it helps to start out slow, and see where things go, frequently assessing the relationship before taking it to the next level.
Not every relationship becomes close and some relationships fail, not because of anything you do wrong, but because there may not be a common interest, absence of personal chemistry or change in circumstances.
It's like a batter in a baseball game, sometimes it's a home run, other times it's a strike out so all you can do is your best, and not be hard on yourself if things don't work out. But the more times you try to form a new relationship, the more opportunities you have for success.