- Thread starter cathyp
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ThatLady
Member
bitterness
It's different for different individuals, hon. A lot depends on whether or not you have help, in the form of a therapist, and/or an excellent support system, to help you through the really difficult bits. Because each of us is unique, it's almost impossible to place a time-frame on recovery.
It's different for different individuals, hon. A lot depends on whether or not you have help, in the form of a therapist, and/or an excellent support system, to help you through the really difficult bits. Because each of us is unique, it's almost impossible to place a time-frame on recovery.
ThatLady
Member
bitterness
What you're feeling is very common in people who have had their trust violated, hon. Most do not end up bitter, hating people. It takes time, and therapy (if you're lucky enough to have access) to get past the hurt, but once you've learned to cope with the feelings in a positive, forward-looking manner, the world opens up in a most astounding way.
Good luck to you. It sounds like you have the right attitude to come out of this mess relatively unscathed. Keep us posted on how you're doing.
)
What you're feeling is very common in people who have had their trust violated, hon. Most do not end up bitter, hating people. It takes time, and therapy (if you're lucky enough to have access) to get past the hurt, but once you've learned to cope with the feelings in a positive, forward-looking manner, the world opens up in a most astounding way.
Good luck to you. It sounds like you have the right attitude to come out of this mess relatively unscathed. Keep us posted on how you're doing.
)Re: bitterness
Hi cathy,
I'm sorry that you've had that to deal with this stuff, as I have. It does take a long time, but the feeling of bitterness has passed for me.
It's good when we realise that there are plenty of nice people in the world and when we learn to sidestep the type of personality that hurt us. I was slow with that one.
Cheers, Philos
cathyp said:
Hi cathy,
I'm sorry that you've had that to deal with this stuff, as I have. It does take a long time, but the feeling of bitterness has passed for me.
It's good when we realise that there are plenty of nice people in the world and when we learn to sidestep the type of personality that hurt us. I was slow with that one.
Cheers, Philos
Re: bitterness
I am in the same boat. I trust no one. Men and Woman. I can't shake it either.Ive tried all kinds of self therapy and spoke with lots of family and friends. Every time I think I have survived. Some one else comes along and throws me back down. Im sorry I cant help when I need help.
I am in the same boat. I trust no one. Men and Woman. I can't shake it either.Ive tried all kinds of self therapy and spoke with lots of family and friends. Every time I think I have survived. Some one else comes along and throws me back down. Im sorry I cant help when I need help.
Re: bitterness
yes, the second question. (sorta) I used to let myself get close quickly and then yes they end up not being who they were when I got close. By then its to late. Then I am again crushed with disappointment.
I tend to get my emotions caught up with people I care for. So much so i sometimes think I feel their pain more then they do. People tend to be drawn to me that are needy. Friends tell me I am motherly. I have become very secluded because I am worn out from other peoples pain. I havent had a chance to deal with my pain yet.
yes, the second question. (sorta) I used to let myself get close quickly and then yes they end up not being who they were when I got close. By then its to late. Then I am again crushed with disappointment.
I tend to get my emotions caught up with people I care for. So much so i sometimes think I feel their pain more then they do. People tend to be drawn to me that are needy. Friends tell me I am motherly. I have become very secluded because I am worn out from other peoples pain. I havent had a chance to deal with my pain yet.
You sound like a caring person eager to help others, which is a wonderful attribute. I believe there are different degrees of closeness in relationships, ranging from casual acquaintances like people we see on the bus going to work every day to the most intimate relationships and everything in between.
To avoid being hurt and disappointed in a relationship, it helps to start out slow, and see where things go, frequently assessing the relationship before taking it to the next level.
Not every relationship becomes close and some relationships fail, not because of anything you do wrong, but because there may not be a common interest, absence of personal chemistry or change in circumstances.
It's like a batter in a baseball game, sometimes it's a home run, other times it's a strike out so all you can do is your best, and not be hard on yourself if things don't work out. But the more times you try to form a new relationship, the more opportunities you have for success.
To avoid being hurt and disappointed in a relationship, it helps to start out slow, and see where things go, frequently assessing the relationship before taking it to the next level.
Not every relationship becomes close and some relationships fail, not because of anything you do wrong, but because there may not be a common interest, absence of personal chemistry or change in circumstances.
It's like a batter in a baseball game, sometimes it's a home run, other times it's a strike out so all you can do is your best, and not be hard on yourself if things don't work out. But the more times you try to form a new relationship, the more opportunities you have for success.
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