Calling a Help Line

[Daniel E.]

Re: calling a helpline

how do you even get rid of them?

The environmentalists prefer that they not be flushed, but your can do whatever is best/safest for you. That's why the FDA still recommends flushing controlled substances down the toilet.

You can even mix the drugs with soda and used cat litter before throwing them away: Guidance on Proper Medication Disposal

Or your local pharmacy may have a free disposal program.

How to Dispose of Unused Medicines

Pharmacist.com | APhA Provides Guidance on Proper Medication Disposal

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Re: calling a helpline

greenstarz,

Don't worry about not being sure. If you feel this bad, just call. They are there to help you, and assess where you're head is at... They will be supportive like your therapist.

What we are saying is, the helpline people will only call 911 if you don't answer them directly. If they asked, "Do you feel like you want to end your life right now?" and if you say "No, I don't feel like I want to end everything right now, but I am just desperate and want peace and I can't get it" then they wouldn't call the police. They would just talk to you and you'd probably feel a lot better.

If you are asked "Do you feel like you want to end your life right now?" and if you don't reply with a yes or no, and then end the call before saying yes or no, they will worry that you are going to commit suicide and then they would call the police to protect you. They would rather make an error on the cautious side than not know for sure.

If you are asked "Do you feel like you want to end your life right now?" and if you say, "Yes" then they might call the police or someone who could come to you, as long as they know someone is there with you to make sure you don't do anything to harm yourself.

No offense to you at all greenstarz, but just because your mom has opinions about you needing to be in the hospital or not, she doesn't seem like a very effective mind-reader. What she seems to be more concerned about is if someone else found out her daughter was in the hospital. She doesn't accept the fact that her daughter is in dire need of help because then she would have to take responsibility for something... in my opinion...

 

[Retired]

Re: calling a helpline

It sounds like your therapist has your best interests in mind. If she is recommending hospitalization, it may be worth your while to give that option serious consideration as you are doing. What is it about hospitaliztion that causes you anxiety?

my therapist is going on vacation next week, ........ she gave me the name of her co worker but ive never even met that person

Another thoughtful offer for your benefit. Therapists usually have a backup colleague to care for their patients/clients when they have to be away. The stand by therapist usually has the same style as your own therapist and is there to help you. Doesn't matter if you never met her, as she is a professional available to help you. Consider the alternative..calling no one or calling someone able to help you if need be.

I have tons of old pills that i keep as a security blanket...how do you even get rid of them?

There are a multitude of reasons for not keeping old medications, such as their loss of effectiveness after time with unpredictable results. Different communities have various services for disposal of unused medication. Call your pharmacist who may take them, or your local poison control center. Do Not flush them down the toilet because the medciations will enter the water supply downline. Other options are to dispose them in an incinerator or in a jar filled with water and in the trash, although that would be a last resort and least recommended.

Here are the FDA's recommendations for disposing of unused medicines

You are doing the right things in seeing your therapist, taking measures to protect yourself and giving thought about the recomended hospitalization.

Would you promise us that you will keep yourself safe until you see your therapist again after her vacation?

 

[greenstarz]

Re: calling a helpline

jolly, actually i just remembered that the last time i went into the hospital, in janurary, i called the hopital and talked to them first. they asked me if i had plans of suicide and i told them yes, then they made me give my name and number and made me promise to come in within a time frame, and i did go in. or else they said theyd send the police for a "well check" or somethinglik that. so i guess thats sort of like calling the helpline. the problem with me not wanting to call is that i want to be honest adn if i am i know they will say i have to come in. so thats probably the big reason why i dont want to call. im trying to wait this out, maybe ill feel better or something. or have a good enough distaction or something. i don't want to overreact.

steve, i do think my therapist has my best interests in mind. i just wish she would force me to go and not make me make the decision. but if she did that i would still fight her about it and tehn it turns really bad and she doesnt want to engage in that again. i just get so confused and scared and overwhelmed with thoughts about thehopspital. i cant even list all the bad thing s i feel about the hospital........but a few are, not feeling safe from the other patients, feeling not safe from myself, feeling like they are writing down everything i do, just feeling trapped, havning to adhere to the ways the want me to sleep, etc... in another trhead i said that if i could just stay in the seculsion room the whole time (with the door open) i would be much better, but i cant do that. about the meds:i thought the idea daniel had about the used at cat litterand the meds was a good one. if i do get rid of them thats probably what id do.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Hm... Any news? Have you heard back from your therapist yet?

You seem to want to go to the hospital but some of the things they do are not perfect for your needs.

Could you write a list of the pros for going to the hospital and then cons for going to the hospital? And then write a list of the pros for waiting until you hear from your therapist, and the cons? Which list has more pros and which list has more cons?

Or maybe just list reasons why you would like to go to the hospital and the write a list about what's holding you back. Could you present these to your therapist and maybe she can let you know if any of those reasons that are holding you back from the hospital can be controlled buy you. Maybe it's perfectly fine that you can call the hospital and say that you need a chair in your room, because you cannot sleep in a bed. Or heck bring in your own fold-our lawn chair if they say they can't accommodate you. I would think it might be reasonable to ask if there are any rooms that are empty, but there might be a problem if there are a lack of beds or something. I think you have more control than you think over your situation.

Try not to worry about them writing stuff down about you. Doctors and nurses have to chart stuff for every patient as a matter of follow-up. If they administer a drug then don't note it down, that could be disaster for you. I would think they need to jot down something brief about their patients' behaviours, so there is some accountability for the staff as to what treatment they provided. Everybody gets the same treatment and gets their own file.

 

[greenstarz]

hi jolly, i just been really tired today, i took an antihistimine for my hives twice and it didnt fully knock me out but i slept a lot. i was on and off the computer but i couldnt focus my eyes too well. i feel more awake now and can focus myeyes at least. i just feel so tired still. but im glad i was able to sleep more...i really need to sleep more.

i can make those lists about the hospital...........i havent thought a bout thehospital much today....i havent really thought about much,,,,,i just cant think....its just that no thoughts come......i wish i could say more right now im just so tired......i actually felt comfortable sleeping for once.......i just feel numb today emotionally so i dont know....my theraist leaves tomorrow and hasnt responded to me yet i feel frozen my thoughts just feel frozen..........i dont know whats going to happen next with how i feel or think......im just sort of a zombie

---------- Post added at 11:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:31 PM ----------

benefits of hospital-- Feel like I'm doing somethjing to fix myself, Better control/adjustment of meds, feel unsafe at home, feel so alone and desperate and lost at home, feel suicidal at times at home--hospital would help with that,


drawbacks of hospital--- Trapped there, Bad sleeping situation there, unsafe people there possibly, feel unsafe there, lots of anxiety getting ready to go, too hard to go through intake, feel anxious while there, too rigid of a schedule there, body search upon intake big trigger,

---------- Post added July 23rd, 2011 at 12:57 AM ---------- Previous post was July 22nd, 2011 at 11:55 PM ----------

I'm really confused. I am really conused about how I feel. SOmetimes it's more of an "end it all, suicidal" feeling then other times. Does that mean I should wait and see if it passes when that happens? How do I know if it's it's gotten too bad and the feelings have gone too far? I can't say for sure all the time if I'll be safe. But then I usualy make it through those times, so should I just wait it out? I just feel so confused. These feelings confuse me so much. I can't think anymore, i just cant seem to get any conclusions from my thoughts. I try to figure out what I want to do, but I can't figure out anything. I wish my therapist would have just told me what to do instead of leaving it up to me. I have such a hard time asking for help iin real life. What if they don't think it's bad enough or they don't believe me? What if it really isn't bad enough and I'm making a big deal about these feelings adn then they pass. Because they do pass sometimes, but usually they come back. SO I don't feel like this 24 hours a day, so does that mean I can handle this at home. And even when I'm in the hospital I nevr tell them how I feel because I';m afraid they will think I just feel sorry for myself and tht I should be able to handle it and not talk about it. I wish I could communicate with them like how I do here. I feel like I can communicate accurately here. But in person, with words, speaking, live, forget it. I'm so stuck and I don't even really kiknow what if the hospital will be any help. I need a treatment center to work on my problems. Some place with real therapy, intensive therapy. But I don't even know what issue it even is that I need the most help with. I just feel like I've tried everything and I've taken all the meds and I'm still stuck. I feel like nothing will be able to help me. I am at the end of my rope. I feel like it's too hard to even care, that I don;t even care anymore. I just need an escape. Today felt a little more like it was a little it of an escape. I think the hospital has the potentioal of feeling like an escape, but where does it get me once I have to be released. And I've been told not to go to the hospital for that reason by other professionals. That's not why you go to the hospital. But living is just so hard to do anymore. I just wwant to give up.

 

[Daniel E.]

I just feel like I've tried everything and I've taken all the meds and I'm still stuck. I feel like nothing will be able to help me. I am at the end of my rope.

What about living one day at a time? Or better yet, one moment at a time?

SO I don't feel like this 24 hours a day

Similarly:

DON'T make the mistake of thinking that depression is present reality. There's nothing that seems realer than depression. But depression is thinking about how bad you feel. Any thinking about feelings is replaying as present, the feeling that you had that has already past. You always experience feelings 'after the fact.' Depression is old stuff masquerading as present reality.

So another way to get out of depression is to get to live in the NOW. Get into present reality. Depression is self-focusing so you want to outer-focus. Depression is subjective so you want to think objective thoughts. Look around and connect to present reality by noticing the color of the wall, the pattern of the sofa.

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/depression/8653-the-many-donts-of-depression.html

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

What if they don't think it's bad enough or they don't believe me? What if it really isn't bad enough and I'm making a big deal about these feelings adn then they pass. Because they do pass sometimes, but usually they come back.

It's okay greenstarz, "they" will take you seriously. They are required to. If you say you are suicidal or that you aren't sure, they will still want to help you.

Daniel does have an excellent point though. He is suggesting to try to get past those thoughts by focusing on something going on right now that is not the thoughts in your head. If that's all you can do while your therapist is on vacation, then do that. Distract yourself. You don't need to deal with these thoughts when you have no support system available to you.

If, on the other hand, you feel like you are about to act on those thoughts, as soon as you begin to pick up something that will do harm to you or your feet start to take you somewhere unsafe then instead make your hands and feet go to the phone and pick it up and dial for help. Personally I wouldn't expect someone to wait, especially if the thoughts are recurring.

You just take care of your inner child. If she needs help, you get it for her, okay? Just like you did with the prescriptions.

 

[Retired]

Re: calling a helpline

Does that mean I should wait and see if it passes when that happens? How do I know if it's it's gotten too bad and the feelings have gone too far?

If you were experiencing chest pains and unable to breathe it's ulinkely you would think about waiting a few days to see if it passes. The same rationale should be applied to mod changes,feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide.

These are abnormal thought patterns, and are are symptoms of a medical illness that need professional intervention. These thought patterns cause distorted thinking that adversely affect your ability to process logical thought and distort reality.

You are still in control and the choices you make can affect your quality of life. For that reason you need to follow up on your therepist's advice, and either call her colleague immediately or choose the other option to become hospitalized where you can receive the care and treatment you need at this time.

Waiting to see if it will pass is only doing harm to yourself and causing you distress which you do not deserve.

Will you call the your therapist or her colleague to report the way you feel at this time?

 

[Always Changing]

Personally I wouldn't expect someone to wait, especially if the thoughts are recurring.

I agree with you JJ. I don't know that Anyone can guarantee someone can be safe at any given time when having recurrent suicidal thoughts. All it takes is for ONE of those times to be the one that doesn't pass. Especially when a person has the means at their disposal.

I try to figure out what I want to do,

Rather than want.. how about NEED?
Like you Greenstarz, A while back, I was having recurrent suicidal thoughts.. I was in a bad place really seriously depressed. My thought process was in ways similar to yours, I used to think, maybe it will pass, it has passed before etc, but !! I just didn't know if the next time would be the one where I would not come back. I reached a point (back then) where I did not trust that I could or even would want to get through the next time.
My admittance to hospital came about during one of my visits to my psych, I had to say that "I cannot not trust that I will get through the next time I think about ending it all". That day I went into hospital and stayed there until I stabilized. It was my choice and it was very very hard to make and at the same time, I knew (with help with my thinking) I needed to be safe, I did not want to go into hospital for various reasons some similar to yours above. I also had issues with my stay there but at least I was alive to deal with them afterwards.

Its your life on the line, Greenstarz. as was mine. I am here today only because I (with help from my psych and here) laid it out on the line, (as you have done) and took the advice of my psych. Following your therapists advice is allowing you control over your life.

I hope which ever choice you make, its one that keeps you safe.

 

[Daniel E.]

I wish my therapist would have just told me what to do instead of leaving it up to me.

Forcing one's client into hospitalization isn't something any therapist wants to do -- not to mention the client can usually leave against medical advice within 72 hours.

There is a long, long history of the rights of mentally ill people being trampled on. Nowadays, one's rights are given more preference over one's absolute safety. Otherwise, if absolute safety was the number one issue, why not hospitalize someone for a year rather than just a week?

In any case, you can call the other therapist for advice. Just talking about your suicidal thoughts to a professional can help a lot. Even if it is just for a few minutes.

Personally, when I was a lot younger and had 2 years of on-and-off emotional instability after high school, I used to call my psychiatrist during off-hours more than I did my therapist.

 

[greenstarz]

Sorry for replying so late. i havent been feeling well physically today. my stomach is really upset.

I asked mybrotherto come over today aand he did for severall hours. it was a good distraction. i am trhying to take it one moment at a time and it been ok.

steve, what you said about not waiting if you have chest pains to get help really made an impact on me. I don't know what else to say. It made me think.

I think i'll be ok though for tonight. I dont even feel like I can SI anymore. I know you'd think that was a good thing. But it's like I dont even care enough to SI. Tomorrow or monday I'm supposed to get my stitches out. I'm promising myself to be safe til then. I'll have to somehow make myself go to the dr/clinic that i go to. or else I can take them out myself. I know how, it's reallyeasy and I've done it before. But I know it's not the best idea. I just feel so sick right now physically. I just wnt to try to sleep. I really think i'll be ok for now. I'm so tired. S(orry I don't make more sense.

 

[Retired]

Re: calling a helpline

I'll have to somehow make myself go to the dr/clinic that i go to. or else I can take them out myself

Doing a medical procedure on yourself is never a good idea; there are many risks that an untrained person is unaware of. It may seem simple enough, but let's face it, you probably wouldn't pull your own tooth!

Take the time to take care of yourself, and taking it one step at a time, visit your clinic for those stitches.

Get some sleep, and deal with tomorrow's activities, one step at a time in the morning.

Keep safe.

 

[greenstarz]

tkanks. Well it's another day now. My sleep is so awful. I barelysleep at all. I have nightmares as soon as I close my eyes, and then intrusive thoughts of the nightmares for hours after I wake up. I slept a lot the other day with the antihistimine and am thinkg of taking it now. its only 4:30and I've honestly only been asleep for likean hour.My stomach feels alot better, not perfect though. Ijust had really sharp painsin my stomach yesterday for some reason. I don't know what it was even from, but it's starting to go away. Ihave to go buycigarettesbecause I'm completely out. I don't want to go until at least 5:30 though. I am justgenerallly afraid of the night. Ican't think about the whole day right now. only up until getting cigarettes. That's all I can handle right now. Thaen I was to sleep more. Last time I was in the hospital I literally slept like 2 hoursa night then sat awake in the dayroom for the rest of the night and the next day. I didn't take naps, I didn't drink caffene, I was taking tons of trazadone. I truly am hopeless about sleep. It is a big struggle for me and hasalways been. I'm an extreemely light sleeper, I wake up at anything, but tthe trazadonehelps with that a little. Buit not much. Ijust can't seem to find rest anymore. I;m so sicck of it.

 

[Always Changing]

I hate not having my cig first thing in the mornings!! Coffee and cig. what would I do without them! :facepalm:

What about trying to write down those nightmares using the intrusive thoughts to do so. You wake from nightmare, and start thinking back on it,, what if while thinking back on it (them) you were writing every thought as it came. We here know you are so good at writing that it would be a two fold exercise if you like. 1 the obvious, you are writing down the nightmare\intrusive thoughts etc, and 2 you are using the time to in a way disctract yourself from becoming too IN THERE with the thoughts.
nightmare... was about etc etc.. next thing intrusive thought shows up, but you are waiting for it, write down what it is and where you think it ties in with the nightmare.. then when you make the link.. you go.. AH! got ya. now I know why i had that thought. then close the story and do something else..
talk to the cats..

I am just making chat here because its so early for you and you have to wait for the time to go get the cigs. If anything i write is too far fetched or off the wall we can ask someone to delete it.

---------- Post added at 10:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:00 AM ----------

Odd! have refreshed this page a couple of times, and each time I refreshed.. a copy of the post is still in this reply box.. hmmmmmmm then I was going to edit that reply...but of course I ran out of time.! and still that post is in this box...

 

[greenstarz]

I know AC, me too, coffee and cigarette.....gotta have it first thing.Ijust didn't want to go last night because I had so much pain in my stomach. I was lliterally thinking of going to the ER because it hurt so bad. I was just curled up in a ball practically because of it. It was awful. But I just got back from the gas station now but I'm not going tohave any coffee in case it would upset my stomach. Just being careful.

I have tried writing down my dreams before and its beenreallyhelpful actually. Actually I'm not sure why I don't do it more. I think i just am in a place of so much fear at the time I wake up that I forget to do things like that. I'm going to try to do that more from now on. Right nowI'm doing ok from nightmares. I think going out and driving and going to the gas station helped with getting past it. I don't know if that makes sense atall...

Oh and another thing.... I drove right past the hospital I would be going to if I decided or still decide to go to the hospital. It's a small private psych hospital with only like 42 beds. Someone was walking in as I drove by. Ithought to myself that it would be so much of a burden off of me if I just checked in. I don't know. I'm sick of fighting.

 

[Always Changing]

(So! what stopped you from checking in at that moment? )

what you said about driving to the garage etc helps get past it.. yep it all helps. Perfect sense. You had something to do other than sit and think or dwell on your feelings or thoughts. :2thumbs:

 

[greenstarz]

I know you're just kidding, but I did think hard about why I'm not in there right now. I still havn't really figured it out. I don't know why I get so confused about that decision each time. I don't know.

 

[Always Changing]

Me???? Kidding!! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

I never really answered that question for myself all those years ago, and I was stopped at the entrance to a hospital at the time (on one occasion) & on the phone to a psych nurse. I guess it may mean not ready or something, not the right time, I guess we can come up with all sorts of reasons\excuses etc, But at the same time I know NOW that IF I had gone in there, I most likely would have saved myself a lot of agonizing and heartache.

It is not an easy thing to do, mentally I mean. Practically sure is simple, just drive in and park the car.!!

 

[Retired]

Re: calling a helpline

coffee and cigarette.....gotta have it first thing

Consider giving up both, permanently..in the interests of better sleep and overall good health.