Achieving sobriety is tough, and so is maintaining it. We've put together ten tips to help you stay on track after you've decided to kick your addiction....
The most important moment before relapse isn’t the final decision to use a drug. It’s when you decide to expose yourself to triggers. For example, a trigger could be going to a party or walking through the liquor section at the store. Before encountering your triggers, you still have most of the control. Not your craving...
Come up with new rituals. How do you celebrate holidays, promotions, or any other happy occasion? If your answer includes any sort of drug, you'll want to get creative and figure out something new. Go wild with a hobby for the day, treat yourself to a nice dinner, or take a weekend trip. Make sure it's something you can get excited about.
When I quit smoking several years ago, I knew that drinking and going to pubs were triggers for smoking for me so I avoided both. Originally, it was just going to be for 3 months but it soon turned into almost a year, until the Christmas season. By that time, I was well over smoking so I could enjoy some wine or beer again.
Often the biggest change necessary to make your future different is telling yourself that it can be different. Keep your attention focused on telling yourself the reasons why it can be different: I have learned a lot and grown as a person; I am open to change and have learned from past mistakes; I am OK with not succeeding sometimes, because there is always something new to learn.
Don’t Say These Three Things To A Stressed Out Person by Skinny And Single February 14, 2018 I get stressed out, it takes a lot but it happens. Here are three things a stressed out person doesn’t need to hear. 1. Well just don’t stress about it. K, you don’t know how stress works and...
Here are three things a stressed out person doesn’t need to hear.
1. Well just don’t stress about it. K, you don’t know how stress works and make sure to engrave that on my tombstone. Stress isn’t a choice.
2. Well, why do you care so much? I like suffering? I don’t know, I just do, I care about stuff…. sorry.
How you treat yourself is one of the few things you control in life. In my view, there’s never a good reason not to be kind to yourself. Treating yourself with compassion helps you break the habit of all or nothing thinking because, when you’re kind to yourself, it’s easier to see the ways in which you’re not kind to yourself. This enables you to become aware of the emotional harm caused by repeatedly telling yourself (about whatever the issue is): “It’s all or nothing…that’s what I require of myself.”
Regardless of how therapy best helps a particular person, some strategies are useful for everyone:
“Cope ahead of time.”As part of his DBT training, Bill learned how to prepare for situations he knew would require him to be vulnerable—an emotion he avoids whenever possible. “It includes seeing yourself in the situation and coming up with a plan for how to behave and take care of yourself,” he says.
Be mindful. It can be as simple as noticing your breathing or the way you brush your teeth, or taking a moment to smell your cup of coffee before taking the first sip, according to psychiatrist Kenneth Fung, MD, FRCPC. “Allow yourself five minutes to not get distracted or think about what you’re going to do next,” he advises.
Defuse. Separate yourself from all-encompassing thoughts and emotions by describing in neutral terms what is happening—instead of how you feel about what is happening. For example, suggests psychologist Christine Sloss, PhD, instead of saying, “I’m anxious,” try, “I’m noticing my heart is beating more quickly,” or, “I’m noticing I’m having a thought about wanting to avoid and hide.” This makes it easier not to take thoughts as fact.
Write your story. “Our stories are derived out of the way we see ourselves, and the way we see ourselves should evolve in a way that makes us feel like we’re moving in a positive direction,” explains psychologist Zachary A. Borynack, PhD. “What is the right story for you?”
Powerful research-based approaches to stop racing thoughts and move forward.
Decide Whether a Thought Is Helpful
Just because a thought is true doesn't mean that it is helpful to focus on—at least not all the time. If only 1 in 10 people will get the job you seek, and you keep thinking about those odds, you may become demotivated and not even bother applying. This is an example of a thought that is true but not helpful. Focus your attention on what is helpful and let the rest go!
In a recent post, I talked about how you can recognize signs that you’re taking on too many tasks at once. But once you figure out you’re in over your head, what do you do? Some people are tempted to just keep working. They tell themselves, “Once I bust through this project, then I can…
Don’t be afraid to cancel
Whether you’re overwhelmed by work commitments or personal obligations, don’t think twice about canceling something if you need to. Call or email the person you made the commitment to and let him or her know you can’t do it.
You’ll be tempted to put this off. That’s understandable. You’re going to feel like a flake. But the sooner you send the email or make the call, the better. The longer you wait, the more you’ll inconvenience the other person.
Will the person to whom you’ve made the commitment be disappointed? Probably. Will he or she be angry? Maybe. But if canceling allows you to regain control of your time, you’ll be better off in the long run.
It’s also worth noting the other person may be better off. After all, if you’re feeling overcommitted and stressed out, you’ll probably do a poor job at whatever you committed yourself to.
I have always found forests and water to be soothing and calming at some of the worst times of my life.. Doesn't have to be the ocean... a river, or brook, or creek works too. Just moving water. And in the forest, trees rustling, things crunching under foot, birds, flowers, even insects, and small critters like chipmunks.
And why it's essential to help reduce your stress.
Focus on your accomplishments when you ruminate on what you’ve avoided.
Place as much emphasis on being in the present moment as thinking about the future. When you’re trying to relax, learn to tell yourself, “Don’t just do something, sit there.”
Create a to-be list—watch a sunset or a bird nesting—alongside your to-do list.
Find the shades of gray when you get caught in all-or-nothing thoughts. “I didn’t get the promotion; I’ll never reach my career goals” becomes “I didn’t get the promotion, but there are many other steps I can take to reach my career goals”
Make your list of "tallcomings," your positive qualities, equal to or longer than your shortcomings.
Have lifelines, pauses to smell the roses, on the way to your deadlines.
Take health days in addition to sick days.
Create a gratitude list of all the things you’re thankful for to offset your litany of grievances that stand in your way.
Stack your positivity deck—pinpoint the opportunity in a difficulty—to offset your negativitybias.
Get outside in nature for green time after prolonged periods of screen time.
Find things you can control instead of ruminating over what you can’t control
Step back and look at the big picture when you get stuck in the small stuff.
List the things you desire when you’re stuck on the things you dread.
Stack cans instead of cannots.
Let yourself be drawn with passion instead of driven by pressure.