This is weird. I have a friendship with someone whom I thought was a better friend than what she really is. I have started to realize that this person is not a close friend. What I consider close anyway. I feel rejected. I have known her for years and I was always so bloody open with her and now I realize that its not reciprocal. I think I've opened my eyes to the way things are for real and not how I saw them in my head. How disappointing. I am a very loyal friend and I would do anything friends ask me for. Fix this, teach me that etc...But now I think its just convenient for them. No special efforts made for me. I wont accept this. I just don't know how to have boundaries without it being a game. I feel like most people don't give a damn about others or I care too much and I expect people to care as much as me. I am trying not to take things personally but its so hard not to. Am I too intense? well that's who I am. People who like intelligent and different conversations appreciate me so why bother with people who don't get me. I guess I'm just disappointed and disillusioned with the whole friendship thing.