Dealing with Trauma and Work Situation

[suewatters1]

How does a person deal with trauma? I work in an I will call toxic environment for the last 25 year. Toxic meaning with some very negative and hateful people.

I will be taking time of work starting March 2nd. I will take about 2-3 months off work. I was told it would be a good time to work on myself so that when the mean people harass me and giving me a hard time I will be more able to handle it.

But it won't be easy for me to deal with it once I go back to work. Some people have been treating me like crap for 25 years. I started working there 25 years ago. I remember some of the hateful ways some people treated me in the last 25 years ago like it happened yesterday. I can't expect to get over that and be able to go back to work in a few months with so much confidence that it won't matter how people treat me.

The people in that place is the reason I have been hurting myself in the last year and having suicidal thoughts in the last few years.

I can't afford to quit as I make good money and I have a good medical plan for my medications but no LTD plan.

I have been dealing with ODSP Employment Support but I find that I am not getting much help from them. They are there to help me find a job or help me make my stay at my job easier. But the service provider I am using haven't been helpful; they don't even know the rights of people in the workplace.

I have another meeting with the 2 people who are helping me on Tuesday morning.

So does anybody have any suggestion on how I can work on myself while I am on sick leave?

Sue

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: Dealing with Trauma

hi Suewatters 1 im sorry to hear how hateful people can be and i know it is hard not to internalize their looks and comments perhaps you could talk with a therapist on your leave who will help you get the confidence you need to deal with them or like the garbage truck article when you are being dumped on show the other people who is the better person and turn to them and smile and wish them a good day don't let them ruin you because of their ignorant and uncompassionate ways. take care mary

 

[suewatters1]

Re: Dealing with Trauma

Hi Mary thanks for your advice.
It's hard because sometimes it's people that tell me which I have to do that sometimes it's just I can't physically do and if I tell them I can't they are mad and or cursing. So sometimes I do the job and I end up hurting more after doing it.
I on modified work and lots of people just hate that and they make my life miserable. When they are suppose to help you with your job at times to fill a bin with hardware bags or something and you don't have time because the production line doesn't stop they won't help you; they say it's your job and I should be doing it. When the production line does stop for a about a minute you better not forget to fill your bin up because they are right there telling you fill your bin up.

In the past there were many time I couldn't do jobs that required multitasking and and when I ask them to switch me they would force me to continue even though I would get so upset because I couldn't do it and I would have to stop the production line lots of times. They would say everybody has to do it and I shouldn't have no problems doing it so what is the problem? They sometimes just watch you and others just waiting for one of us to make a mistake and pound on us. Being ridiculed and made fun of for 25 years has taken a toll on me.
I am getting hurt more in the last 8 months with work related injuries which requires physio therapy and people treat me like I am a whiner for complaining. For the last 25 years at times they have been harassing me and bullying me and make me feel like I am useless.
Some people don't believe that people with disabilities should be accommodated. If you can't do the job go home is what lots of people think.

Also if they can make your job harder somehow they will just to get to you. So every time I stand up for my rights they find a way to say I am wrong even though I know I am not.


Sue

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: Dealing with Trauma

i know how you feel but being on modified position means just that and your boss should clarify this to all the staff working with you it should not just be you sticking up for your rights. is there no one in the human rights dept there that can speak to your boss and the rest of the workers there, they are ignorant people and you should just do what you are capable of doing do not do any more if the line is held up so be it maybe then the boss will step in and fix this problem you do what is only expected of you and as for the rest of the people there just ignore them because at the end of the day all you can do is your best and the heck with the rest of them take care suewatters 1 try to get your boss to help you out or human resourses who put you on modified best of luck mary

 

[suewatters1]

Re: Dealing with Trauma

Thanks Mary.

I was put on modified duties about 3 1/2 years ago by my DR due to a medical reason. Right now I am light duties due to a work related injury so the company has no choice but to accommodate me. Also right now I am going to physio therapy paid by Workers Compensation Board (WSIB)

My boss is OK most of the time but it's the people underneath him and other co-worker who know what they are doing is wrong but don't care and he has talked to my co-workers but that didn't change anything

About 17 months ago my Chief Union Steward and the Health and Safety Manager of that time wanted me to quit. I brought proof of the the Ontario Human Rights duty to accommodate to my union representative and she gave it to the Health and Safety Manager. I was called into the office and yelled at like I didn't know what I was talking about and my Union Rep just stood there and said nothing. I know some of the staff member would love it if I quit and found another job.

I know people won't change but I will have to change but what they are doing to me is wrong anyway.

Thanks for your support

Sue

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: Dealing with Trauma

defininetly what they are doing is wrong and good for you for standing up to them and not quitting good for you for being strong and letting them know you have rights and won't be walked over and if the harrassment continues think abt going to who is in charge and file harrassment charges maybe this will smarten some of them up continue to stay strong and be proud of what you have done you won't take their abuse Im proud of you stay strong mary

 

[DrFrog]

Without knowing you better it's hard to give any kind of advice but for what it's worth I say look for a "better" (in the sense of the work environment) job which provides the pay and benefits you need to sustain yourself. If you live in the United States this could be a long search but if your current job truly is a toxic environment and is making you want to kill your self then in the interest of self-preservation try to find another job where your co-workers are a bit less juvenile in their behavior.

My last job (among other things,) was towards the end starting to make me a real danger to myself and possibly others. I'm currently unemployed and alive.

 

[suewatters1]

Thanks DR Frog. It's hard to leave when I make $16.60 an hour and 5 weeks vacation a year and good benefits. I don't want to lose my house and car.

I am getting help from Ontario Disability Support Program Employment Support but they are not being very helpful and most jobs out there are around $10.00 an hour.

Also where I am now I have lots of seniority 8th out of 300+ employees. So it's hard for me to leave my first job of 25 years.

Taking time off will help for now till I figure out my next move.

Thanks

Sue

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Went to work today and the first 4 hours wasn't hard at all physically as I was working at the back of the production line and was able to sit down at times. The only problem with that job was that I needed a knife to cut away the plastic wrap after the skid was wrapped. Well my thoughts were on that knife and what I could physically do with it. I didn't like those thoughts I had all morning.
For the afternoon I was put on another production line till it was time for me to go to physio therapy for my back. When I arrived at that line the person in charged asked me if I was on light duties. She knew last week did she think it was different this week so I had to replace somebody who had a easy job and the other person got moved elsewhere. Well lots of people were not happy. Then after the afternoon break at co-worker came to the job she though she was on but that was my job and I asked the person in charge of the line where do I go and she said I stay where I was. So the other co-worker had to move and boy more people were unhappy. When it was time to go to therapy I grabbed my work bag that I usually leave at work and clean out my tiny locker that I had kept some stuff I wasn't using no more and left for physio.

Now I am not sure I am ever going back to work. I might be starting my sick leave tomorrow.

I am getting suicidal thoughts now not like yesterday when I cut myself due to frustration and stress.

Also if any of my post is not appropriate could someone delete or edit the part that might be inappropriate. Because I don't want to get banned but sometime I get confused on what is allowed and what isn't.

Thanks

Sue

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I just called my DR and left a message that I needed to see him that with the way I am feeling now is that I am on the edge and if I would try to attempt to go back to work I am not sure if I could keep myself safe. Right now I am having the shakes because of everything that is going on.

I had a good talk with my friend and I told him I was on the edge and the people at work and the way they treat me day in day out has put me on the edge. It's like anymore B.S from them and I would be over the edge and I don't want to go there right now.

Now I just need to get rid of the shakes and maybe I will feel better. I am not ready to die yet. I have some faint hope in me things will get better

Sue