[Trigger] Downward spiral

[BluMac81]

Thanks all, I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm cured of depression and anxiety with 2 days hospice care. But there are a few things I've learned that are gonna stick, I'm never gonna SI again, and the thought of suicide is as far as it can ever be, because my family voiced ever so strongly how much it would hurt them... I knew that would be how they would feel but hearing my mother's panicky voice on the phone. Never, never again will I make her feel that way. And yes if that means giving up the solo-boozing that's what I'm doing.

Nearly a week now and not a drop of alcohol. I admitted (to my little sister also) that the temptation for alcohol is still there, because honestly the depression is still there, still finding it hard to enjoy anything at all, though I am learning to appreciate things a little more. And I've taken measures as to not overwhelm myself with to-do's every day, maybe 2-4 things a day and that's it. Granted I fear that my grades are gonna slip in my comp2 and IP classes, but I'm still gonna show up, and I'm not gonna give up.

Going to see my psychologist in a little less than an hour.

 

[Jazzey]

the thought of suicide is as far as it can ever be, because my family voiced ever so strongly how much it would hurt them

Thank you Blu - that's really music to my ears tonight.

As for the alcohol - I'm proud of you. I don't think that the want really ever goes away Blu. But as long as your cognizent of it, you can actually do something about it. When the urge comes back, maybe call a family member, a friend - distract yourself. Did I mention I've been jogging...a lot (lately) .

Wishing you well Blu - I'm so happy to hear that you're doing better. :hug: :hug:

 

[ladylore]

Something that may help BluMac may be to write a list of early warning signs that you could be in danger. They are different for everyone. But writing a list and keeping it handy may help. Checking in a few times a day may help too.

Questions like: What am I feeling right now? What are the sensations going on in my body? When have I last eaten? What do I need to do for myself right now to me on track?

A few suggestions.

 

[Into The Light]

blumac, i am really glad to hear you went and got immediate help. i am also very glad you were able to talk to your family honestly about what you are going through and that you have all of their support. not everyone is that lucky! make use of the support available to you, it will make all the difference.

 

[Charity]

I'm so glad to hear that you're finally letting people help you!!
Yes, there's a lot that we have to do for ourselves, of course, but it's so important to realize that we never have to do it alone.

Keep taking care of yourself! :hippy: