Ending relationship with dishonest, unfaithful partner

[annonymoususer]

"i loved you so much
i cared for you
i wanted you
i was faithful to you
i couldn't lie to you
i was always there for you
i cried with you
i saw both of us in the future
i wanted to marry you
i wanted to be in love with you forever
i wanted to die next to you
i wanted to hold you when we slept
i wanted to be there in your hard times to help you out
i wanted to be with you
BUT no.. you prefered your drugs, your booze, and sluts.
i couldn't be that girl who was high on drugs, drunk, and whoring myself to you.
i tried being that because i loved you, but couldn't go with it.
i loved you so much that i tried.
i was so dumb lowering myself like that. that's why i broke up with you.
you wanted those dumb sluts. so now you have it, and i hate you so much.
i am angry because i poured my heart to you. i prayed every night for you to change and come back.
i always went back when i thought you said you changed, but you lied one to many times. i couldn't go with the lies. i hated you again. i cried every night because of the pain you gave me, the misleads, and because you couldn't love me the way i did. you couldn't be genuine and it hurt. i prayed and prayed some more, and nothing. i would get your drunk calls, for those night stands and i couldn't take those lies anymore. you lied lied lied!!!!! you were the best and horrible thing to happen to me! i saw the good in you! you would say that you were trash and no one valued you, i can understand why. you had mental problems, but that didn't stop me from trying to help you. i tried. i listened. and was there for you. i loved you. remember... i saw the good in you. i couldn't bring it out fully, and i prayed and prayed, and nothing. now you are off. you moved on. i'm happy. but sad. i wanted to be with you. we did have those good times when the good came out of you.
this sucks so much. soo many tears for you. I can't believe how long i waited, i had sooo much faith in this, and it blew up in my face... it didn't work.

all i want you to know is that i loved you, and hoped the best for you EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!!
i couldn't curse you, and i can't, no one deserves that. i just hope the best for both of us... it hurts to say since you are now off w/ someone else, because all this time i have missed you and hoped for you.
IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "


i need help... any positivity would help right about now, these wounds are so fresh. plz.
thank u.

 

[Daniel E.]

re: Ending relationship withdishonest, unfaithful partner

i need help... any positivity would help right about now, these wounds are so fresh. plz.
thank u.

Some cold comfort, at least, is that you will feel only better in time:
http://forum.psychlinks.ca/ending-r...ng-a-broken-heart-the-pain-of-heartbreak.html

Journaling may help as mentioned here: Essential Comforts for the Recently Broken Up

BTW:

“Simply thinking optimistically about future relationships brought about these positive rebound effects,”

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/ending-r...t-a-rebound-relationship-may-do-you-good.html

 

[forgetmenot]

re: Ending relationship withdishonest, unfaithful partner

You cannot change him it won't happen, Time to move on to someone who will be there with you and appreciate your loyalty and compassion. You have to accept that he has not the same feelings for you and move on to greener pastures. I am sorry you are in pain but this pain is telling you something is not right It will take some time but you will find someone else someone better take care.

 

[annonymoususer]

re: Ending relationship withdishonest, unfaithful partner

---------- Post added at 05:25 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:24 PM ----------

You cannot change him it won't happen, Time to move on to someone who will be there with you and appreciate your loyalty and compassion. You have to accept that he has not the same feelings for you and move on to greener pastures. I am sorry you are in pain but this pain is telling you something is not right It will take some time but you will find someone else someone better take care.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for your hope Violet.
I really appreciate the time you took to read what i wrote and you replying, again thank you!

You have given me some really good advice, and i will defenitely work on that.
Thank you


P.S. beautiful name btw

---------- Post added at 05:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:25 PM ----------

Some cold comfort, at least, is that you will feel only better in time:

Hi Daniel, Thank you for the quotes and links
What do you mean by "cold" comfort?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

re: Ending relationship withdishonest, unfaithful partner

"Cold comfort" is an expression meaning it may not be all that comforting yet but in time it will be.

 

[annonymoususer]

i'm so angry right now, that i am trying to control it, but can't seem to do so and i don't want it to affect me later, i need some positive advice to look on the bright side...

i just talked to my ex... in a way i think i shouldn't of had. he has done a lot of damage to me in the past, he says he's sorry and will carry his guilt to his grave... idk. he tends to lie a lot so it's hard to believe him. i did have very strong feelings for him and now for over 2 years he has been impacting me, not as much as before because i've been getting over it & him little by little. well he called me today after not talking to him for maybe about a year? it was really weird. i mean i know people that know him very well so his name gets thrown around here and there... so i guess that's why i can't completely stop thinking of him.

i recently had a huge fit a couple of days ago and broke down when i found out he has a GF... i couldn't believe how much it affected me... and now he calls me today?! very very weird. well we had an interesting convo, and of course not being vulnerable at all, i was dodging that when he tried to get me in that position. overall, when the convo came up he denied his GF!! after i already knowing he has one... why would he do that?! that is sooo messed up. it still hurts to see him lie and be this way. what is he gaining out of this?? why is he so mean and cold-hearted?? =/

what should i do that could make feel better or will make me feel better?
right now since i know he is known for lieing a lot, i saw our convo over the phone as pointless. idk what to think in order to not feel bad or feel like $hit because overall he still is impacting me... please help.

sorry for this being long.
thank you in advance for your time and consideration. thank you.

 

[Jazzey]

Re: Please help... positivity only

I'm sorry you're going through this. Given what you've already told us in the past about him, my only instinct is to tell you to 'run', not 'walk' away from this man. No relationship can ever be well-founded in lies. He is your 'ex'.

As for feeling better, have you considered going to see a therapist? Someone who can help you sort out your feelings and repair some of the hurt from the past?

 

[annonymoususer]

Re: Please help... positivity only

I'm sorry you're going through this. Given what you've already told us in the past about him, my only instinct is to tell you to 'run', not 'walk' away from this man. No relationship can ever be well-founded in lies. He is your 'ex'.

As for feeling better, have you considered going to see a therapist? Someone who can help you sort out your feelings and repair some of the hurt from the past?

Hi Jazzey,
Thank you for your reply.
I do have a lot of different issues that have been a conflict and a drain in my life and as they are building up i can't seem to think clearly anymore, that is why i have considered to see a clinical psychologist (at the moment my appointment isn't available until mid-jan). Would you recommend seeing a clinical psychologist?

I'm very nervous, this would be my first time going to see one. I have always had a hard time expressing my emotions, i guess that's why i'm nervous...?
In the meantime, i searched for help online since i can't really talk to people i know without taking me seriously, and instead found this site, which has been a blessing for the past few days

Again thank you for your reply!

 

[Jazzey]

Re: Ending relationship withdishonest, unfaithful partner

Yes, I would recommend seeing a clinical psychologist.

I know it can be a littler nerve-wracking to start seeing a psychologist. I just started this part year. But let me reassure you, in those moments when you don't know what to say, or you don't know how to say it, psychologists are very good at giving you that helping hand and gently guiding you where you need to go.

And you're welcome. Feel free to lean on us whenever you need us.

 

[annonymoususer]

Re: Ending relationship withdishonest, unfaithful partner

why do i keep talking to him??
it's like that saying, "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer"
it somewhat feels that way, because i don't really feel safe around him

he calls, and invites me to places, after all that has happened. this is sooo weird.
i know he is up to no good, but it's hard for me to walk or even run away.
should i change my number?
how can i confront this?
how can i not feel horrible after talking to him?
how can i stay positive, and boost my self-esteem?
how can i not let him affect me anymore?

please help

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: Ending relationship withdishonest, unfaithful partner

he calls, and invites me to places, after all that has happened. this is sooo weird.
i know he is up to no good, but it's hard for me to walk or even run away.

That does remind me of this book:

It’s a classic single-woman scenario: you really like this guy, but he’s giving mixed messages. You make excuses, decide he’s confused, afraid of commitment. Behrendt, a former executive story editor for Sex and the City—and a formerly single (now happily married) guy who knows all the excuses—provides a simple answer: he’s just not that into you. Stop kidding yourself, let go and look for someone else who will be. After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, "if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way."If you’re not convinced yet, by all means read this smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat little book, full of q’s and a’s covering every excuse woman has ever made to avoid admitting to herself that a man just wasn’t that smitten with her.

Publishers Weekly book review of He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys