• Quote of the Day
    "In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived,
    and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."
    The Buddha, posted by David Baxter

David Baxter

Mar 26, 2004
Feelings and the Thoughts That Control Them
David Burns
The Feeling Good Handbook (Penguin, 1999) and Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (Avon, 1999).

Sadness or depression
Thoughts of loss: a romantic rejection, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the failure to achieve some important goal.

Guilt or shame
You believe that you've hurt someone or that you've failed to live up to your own moral standards. Guilt results from self-condemnation, whereas shame involves the fear that you'll lose face when others find out about what you did.

Anger, irritation, annoyance, or resentment
You feel that someone is treating you unfairly or trying to take advantage of you.

Life falls short of your expectations. You insist that things should be different. It might be your own performance ("I shouldn't have made that mistake"), what someone else does ("He should've been on time!"), or an event ("Why does the traffic always slow down when I'm in a hurry?").

Anxiety, worry, fear, nervousness, or panic
You believe you're in danger because you think something bad is about to happen -- "What if the plane crashes?" "What if my mind goes blank when I give my talk in front of all those people?" "What if this chest pain is the start of a heart attack?"

Inferiority or inadequacy
You compare yourself to others and conclude that you're not as good as they are because you're not as talented, attractive, charming, successful, intelligent. "She's really got what it takes. She's so cute. All the men are chasing her. I'm just average. There's nothing very special about me."

You tell yourself that you're bound to feel unhappy because you're alone and you aren't getting enough love and attention from others.

Hopelessness or discouragement
You feel convinced that your problems will go on forever and that things will never improve. "I'll never get over this depression," or "I just can't lose weight and keep it off," or "I'll never find a good job," or "I'll be alone forever."

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